5 Beaches to Visit From The Hague

The school holidays have arrived and the beach is surely on the wish list of every child this summer. The good news is that if you live in or around The Hague you have an excellent choice of beaches to explore. So get your bucket and spades, sun cream and a picnic ready and head off to one of these sandy locations.

5 Ways You Can Make Expat Life Easier for Yourself

I'm longing for change. I've been in the Netherlands now for over 15 years. I've been living in the same house now since 2002. I've been struggling to live life in Dutch for more years than I care to think about and instead of getting easier it's actually getting harder; people expect you to speak flawless Dutch after 15 years in the Netherlands, but I don't. I can hold my own, I get by, but I still have to think about what I need to say. I've been through the culture shock curve and co e out the other side, unscathed. I feel more at home these days in the Netherlands than I do in Britain, yet I am still living a life in the middle, between two worlds. And suddenly I'm finding it to be exhausting.

6 Ways to Make Sure Your Summer Holiday is Really a Holiday When You're an Expat

For my first few years as an expat my husband and I spent most of our holiday allowance travelling to and fro to England for long weekends. Once we had three young children the ‘popping back’ for short stays stopped, but our children do not do house-jumping between various friends and family members well. It isn’t their ideal summer holiday, no matter how wonderful it is to see everyone. They find it difficult to settle and tend to arrive back in the Netherlands more tired than when we set out. So we had to get creative and work out ways to see loved ones without the lodging hopping and constant travelling.

Here’s what we have come up with over the years:

Stop half way

Choose a holiday destination that means you can stop off half way and see friends and family en route. For us this has meant holidaying in Cornwall, England with stop-offs at family on the way to and from the Eurotunnel or boat, sometimes staying a night or two and other times just popping in for lunch.

Invite loved ones

Ask your friends or family to join you in your chosen holiday venue. Book accommodation big enough to invite others to stay with you, either for a few days or the duration, or make sure you stay somewhere where loved ones can also stay nearby. This way you get to explore new sights and spend time with those that matter.

Announce your arrival and sit back

Let people know when you will be back in town and where you will be staying and ask them to come to you. This way you don’t end up traipsing from one house to another. People will usually understand that you have already done the travelling to get back and find their way to you, particularly if you have young children. It’s a great excuse to organise a family party so you can see everyone at the same time.

Explore ‘home’ like a tourist

Take the opportunity to explore ‘home’ through the eyes of a tourist. Do some planning before you return and find places you either have not been to for a while, or have never visited. Challenge yourself to see ten new things in the area you once lived and explore the local area. This way you can alternate or combine sight-seeing with visiting loved ones – a win-win situation for the children especially.

Show your children your cultural roots

Use a trip ‘home’ to share the life you led before you moved overseas and share your cultural roots with your children. Let them see where you went to school, where you used to work, where you played with your friends. Introduce them to food and events that are typical of your birth country’s culture. Encourage them to practice speaking the local language. Immerse them in your heritage.

Staycation

Invite friends and family to you over the summer and explore close to home instead of traveling far. So often we head further afield but don’t visit the sights under our nose. Make a list of things you haven’t yet seen or done in the Netherlands, or take your visitors away for a short break in Belgium, Germany or France. Or you can involve your visitors in a bit of summer culture fun using their countries of origin. Either way, you get the best of both worlds.

Why You Should Visit the Dutch Town of Medemblik

Ever been to Medemblik? It's in North Holland, nestled peacefully on the banks of the IJsselmeer, which is the largest lake in West Europe. My family spent a long weekend there last week at the start of the school spring break - and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised about just how lovely it is in that area.

Where to Meet People When You Are The New Expat on the Block

There's no getting away from it - this is moving season. The time of year when expats leave and expat arrive. A time for hellos and goodbyes.

Moving to a new country, away from family and friends, away from a life you have built up takes a lot of courage. It can be thrilling, there is no doubt about that; meeting new people, creating a new career, experiencing new cultures and learning a new language. It can also be extremely daunting. And very lonely.

Making new friends when you arrive in a new place is usually first on the to do list after unpacking, scouting the area and getting the children settled. But how? 

There are a number of ways to meet new people who are in the same boat and they all involve getting 'out there'. Think outside the box and you are likely to meet people with the same interests.

One expat friend of mine combined one of her passions with the desire to get to know new people - she joined a book club.  Another friend, not long after becoming a mother, set up a toddler group in her host country Belgium.

I have personally found other English speaking mothers where I live using expatriate forums and even a Dutch site for 'stay at home' mums - so looking in unexpected places can yield unexpected results.

Author, Jo Parfitt, swears by networking. She told me once in an interview that one of the first thing she does when she moves to a new country is join a professional network, like Connecting Women, which is a Hague based organisation.

Here are a few more ideas for expanding that social or business network when you land on new shores (with Dutch specific links):

• Join a Parent & Toddler group, and if you cannot find one then start up your own 
• Join a parenting group - like Amsterdam Mamas which is an amazing group for advice, activities and information or seek out parenting events (like those hosted by Passionate Parenting)
• Women's Professional Networks
• Spouse networks (like the Global Outpost services of Shell)
• Voluntary work (Access is a good place to start in The Hague or Amsterdam)
• Book clubs, reading groups or writer's circles (Check out The American Book Center in the Hague and Amsterdam)
• Maternity classes (Access offer English language prenatal courses)
• Sports clubs
• Expat forums
• Expat groups (see the list of clubs and groups on Expatica)
• Take a language course
• Get involved at your children's school with after school activities
• Indulge your hobby - join a choir, writing group or a photography or art group
• Sign up for an evening class 
• Local libraries have ''story time'' sessions for the children - a win win. Junior is happy and you meet other parents in the area

To close, there's a chapter on making friends as an expat in the Netherlands in the book Dutched Up!: Rocking the Clogs Expat Style including my take on making friends as an expat which is namely this: it takes time to make good friends and it usually happens when you stop trying.

5 Things to Do Before You Become a Parent

 I have three children aged nine, six and four. I know what I am talking about when I say there are things you should do before you become parents. Five things to be exact.

1. SLEEP

Seriously, I wish someone had told me how much sleep you lose during the first decade of a child's life and particularly during that first year after becoming a mother. Mind you, had I known then what I know now I might have slept through my entire 20s and missed that decade.

They sleep, but not for long.

Sleep when you can, lie in on a weekend, spend lazy Sunday mornings (to hell with it, and afternoons) eating breakfast in bed and, reading great books and watching fabulous movies. By the time your days are filled with nappies, milk feeds and rocking a baby sleep is a distant memory.

2. TRAVEL

You don't travel light with a baby or toddler in tow. In fact, if you've got any sanity left you just won't bother travelling at all.

Entertaining a hungry, cranky, bored toddler waiting for an overdue flight in a busy holiday shouldn't be on any sane person's wish list. And long haul flights? Baahahhaaa. It's why the local motorways are blocked up in the summer holidays with cars filled with car seats and little people, and every possible item you could never imagine you needed before you became parents packed in every other spare centimetre of car space.

So, before you have a baby go see the world, spread your wings and enjoy what the world has to offer - it will be a decade or more before that idea becomes fun again.

Trust your instinct and ditch the parenting books

3. DITCH THE PARENTING BOOKS
Once you know you'll imminently become a parent there is an urge to run out and buy, borrow or read every parenting book you can get your hands on. Don't.

One thing the books can't teach you is this: trust your instinct. A mother's instinct is the most powerful tool at your disposal. Once you are a parent, you can better understand your own parenting style and then seek out reading material as an aide, or other people with the same parenting philosophy. Reading every book or article with the word parent in the title before that time will only confuse, upset and mystify you. There is conflicting advice everywhere you look so let your instinct guide you in the right direction.

4. READ

I know, I just said ditch the parenting books but I'm talking about other reading material, the reading that you have always wanted to do. Now is the time to grab those classics on your reading bucket list. Now is the time to make the most of your favourite magazine subscription. Sign up at your local library and make your library card work for you.

Enjoy the peace, quiet and time that you have before a baby arrives. Trust me, you won't pick up another non-parenting book until long after your baby has turned one.

5. PREPARE FOR A LIFETIME OF CHANGE

Life will never be the same again.

That is easy for me to say of course, I have three children. I know the before children and the after kids life very well indeed but before you actually have a baby it's hard to imagine all the ways life will change but, let me assure you,  nothing in your life post kids will ever be the same again.

Your living room turns into one giant play room. There are potties and toilet training seats filling bathrooms and the downstairs loo. Your dining room floor always looks as if a food fight has just taken place (and usually it has, just not in the same way as during those fun student days). Your garden is filled with plastic houses, slides and balls and the beautiful flowers you plant last one hour after they have bloomed before they are plucked by chubby little hands.

But the biggest change of all is not inside your house. It's inside you. From the moment you become a parent your heart is filled with unconditional love. You will have no idea where this love comes from but it is all consuming. You are no longer responsible for just one person on this planet, and that feeling is overwhelming. Welcome to parenthood. Life will never be the same again.

Life will be better. So much better. Even without sleeping and travelling and reading, without peace and quiet and even though your home no longer feels like a sanctuary, life will be better. Because you have a little hand to hold, a little person to lead through life. Because you are somebody's mama.

What would you add to the list? What should you do before you become parents? 


 If you want to read more about parenting abroad head over to support Knocked Up Abroad on Kickstarter and buy a pre-release copy of the book!

De Efteling - A Dutch Theme Park

Continuing from my tales about my newly found retirement home last week, this week I'm sharing photos from de Efteling, which we visited just before Easter. 

The iconic Efteling Lange Nek

Kasteel De Haar in Utrecht

This week is meivakantie in our part of the Netherlands - May school break. We decided to do a series of day trips out in our own country with the three boys instead of actually going away, which was what we first considered doing.

One of the places we chose to visit was Kasteel De Haar in Utrecht. Muiderslot had been on my bucket list for years, and last March I finally got to see that little gem of a castle. Then I came across another castle, and as my newly turned four year old had been blabbing on about castles this week we put it on the list. My expectations weren't high - we were going to a castle with what looked like nice gardens. That was all I knew.

First impressions count

From the moment we saw the castle from the road I knew it was going to be a fabulous afternoon. The castle stands proudly, magnificently and beautifully renovated surrounded by an English styled landscape and waterways. It is stunning. The renovations are ongoing and the flowers are yet to show their petals (summer blooms are planted after May 15th and I am guessing it looks spectacular) yet despite this it's already a true magical wonderland. 

You can get married there. I've already hinted to my husband that we should do our wedding over just so we can get married in this setting. The wedding photos would be stunning. I also want to live here when I retire. In fact, I'm okay moving in now. 

As it is school holiday time the castle is putting on special tours for children on a daily basis. You can only visit the castle with a guide and my eldest (7) loved the tour, and followed the guide round very enthusiastically. My 4 year old got bored half way through, wanting to go back outside to run around the gardens. My 2 year old wriggled a lot in the arms of his papa - who was reluctant to let him loose amongst the antique vases and expensive furniture. However, the tour was interesting and enjoyable in any case and at the end the children got a quiz (on paper to do later) and a diploma with their name on - very nice touches when you are little.

Beautiful details in every corner

It's amazing to think about the celebrities and gentry that have walked through those castle doors. Annually in September Kasteel De Haar still plays host to an array of the rich and famous. I'm thinking of ways to get on that guest list without actually being rich or famous.......ideas on a postcard......

Stunning - simply stunning

After the tour we headed back outside for a spot of lunch in the Tuynhuis, and then walked to the maze, which kept three little boys happily amused. When they emerged from the maze puffed out and red faced from running around they sat on a  bench and did the quizzes they got from the guided tour.

The gardens are huge and you could certainly wile away an afternoon walking around without going inside the castle at all. In fact, I had images of myself dressed in a white, flowing summer dress (à la Downton Abbey) and sun hat perched with my back against one of the many spectacular trees in the gardens, armed with nothing but a few notepads and pens. And a picnic. The place cries out for a summer picnic to be had there and there are plenty of beautiful spots to lay down a rug and enjoy an outdoor family feast.

The castle through a child's eyes

In short? In the words of my two eldest sons,

"This is the best castle ever!"

If you have never been - go!

Expat Truths: Making Friends

Just over a month or so ago I shared my scary experience of meeting a group of extremely negative expats which stayed with me for a long time after (more than ten years and counting).

The response I got to that blog post ranged from,

"Didn't it occur to you that they maybe needed help?" to "I have had the exact same experience. Don't go there."

10 Hard Expat Lessons Learnt on the Way to A Happy Life Abroad

No matter how idyllic expat life looks, there are lessons to be learnt

 It is impossible to be an expat for thirteen and a half years and not learn something. I have watched expats around me, and learnt from them. I have learnt some things the hard way, but looking back I wouldn't have it any other way. Every experience has helped mould me and the expat life I lead today. I have reached a point of happiness, contentment and satisfaction with the life I have carved out overseas with my husband and three sons. But there is no denying there have been bumps in the road leading to the present day. There have been tough, tough days. But each bump is a lesson learnt. Here are ten bumps.....

1. Habits can be broken. When you move to a new country the things you are used to doing, and the way you do them,  may no longer be acceptable, possible or feasible. It means changing what you do and how you do it.

2. Necessities can become unnecessary. All those foodstuffs you thought you could never live without? Turns out you can - with a little weaning and cold turkey. That particular shop you loved? When it's gone the world doesn't stop turning. You may miss things for a while, but eventually you move on. You learn to live without.

3. Every negative feeling has an end. Expats go through culture shock, even experienced expats who have done it all before in different countries. It's a lot easier going through a hard, negative period when you know those feelings will come to an end. It is part of the expat package.

4. Your way is not always the right way. The people in your host country may do things a little differently. They may turn everything you know on your head. And sometimes you find a better way of doing things.

5. For everything there is an alternative or a substitute. Can't get something you deem essential? Ask around and the natives or seasoned expats will have a secret ingredient as a replacement for you.

6. Adapt or wither. You cannot move to a new country and expect life to carry on as it was. And truth be told, if that is what you want why move in the first place? If you don't change your mindset, embrace change and adapt to your environment you will lose a little piece of yourself every day until you realise you have withered away to a shadow of your former self. Tough lesson, but true.

7. Go local. Learn the local language. Being able to confidently communicate with the local people helps you adapt, feel at home and find your way around your new environment. It makes everything a little less daunting and the idea of leaving the house a little less scary. Learn about the history and culture of the new land you call home, even if it is a temporary home. If you know why things are the way they are it helps you accept the things that may be wildly different from life as you knew it. Learn about the politics of your new home.

8. Explore. There is a whole new world around you. Seeing new sights is uplifting.

9. Make friends with the locals, they are your best tour guide, information source and linguist aides. Make friends with other expats, they are the voice of experience and they know what you are going through.

10. Expat life is not a holiday. Normal life continues at home or away with all its ups and downs. Moving overseas does not mean there is no more drama in your life, or that you can escape what happens back 'home'. Sometimes it can actually make problems worse as solving issues back in your home country is harder. Expat life is not an escape from life.

A Letter from my Future Expat Self

September 1999

Dear Amanda,

In an unexpected turn of events you will move to the Netherlands in a year's time. It's a country just across the North Sea, but don't be fooled by the short distance: it's a different country for sure.

Remember when you were holidaying in Turkey and kept hearing what you thought was a strange dialect of German? Well, that was Dutch, and now you need to learn it. It's actually not the same as German at all and by the time you have immersed yourself in the Dutch language your German language skills will have gone out the window. Similarities sure, but absolutely not the same.

So, if you want to be taken seriously and feel even a teeny bit integrated in your new home, you need to learn Dutch. Get cracking. It's not the easiest language for a Brit to learn because some sounds just don't exist in the English language. This is why you'll avoid saying where you live for the first three months you are in the Netherlands - Voorschoten will be impossible for you to say correctly until you master the 'sch' sound, similarly you'll avoid telling people about any trip you make to Scheveningen.

Whilst you get the basics covered, don't worry because Dutch people speak brilliant English, and will attempt to practice with you at every opportunity. In 2013 somebody will come up with the idea of a badge that lets Dutch people you want to speak Dutch with them and not English, but that's way ahead of your time. Therefore you will have to act as if they haven't spoken English at all and continue in Dutch as best you can. Keep at it, after a few years the Dutch will stop talking English to you.

And whilst we're on the subject of practising, find someone with a bicycle you can borrow. Yes, a two wheel pedal yourself type bike. The Dutch cycle everywhere and as you currently don't, starting now will avoid you making a fool of yourself when you buy a bike in 2002. Even the expat woman who will become queen in 2013 thinks nothing of hopping on her bike to open some park or building. Get on your bike.

There are those that will tell you moving to the Netherlands is easy, that it's like living in England. Those people never moved to the Netherlands. They settled there for a while and stayed in an expat world. Moving there permanently is not easy. It is foreign. It is abroad. It is an alien culture. Of course, there are harder places to adjust to, but you will experience culture shock. There will be days when you feel so lonely you'll want to throw the towel in. There will always be a reason to turn back, abort your journey, pack your bags and book a single ticket back to England. But don't. Hang in there. You'll get through everything thrown at you. Good days will start outnumbering the bad days and eventually you'll have worked yourself right through the culture shock spectrum. You'll wake up one day and realise you're home.

One day you'll have a husband, three children and a family home. You'll have been open to a home birth without pain relief, your children will go to local Dutch schools, you'll talk almost exclusively daily in Dutch and you'll have the career you always dreamed of (not much time to do it in but you can't have it all). You'll realise you're an expat at home.

I promise you it's the right move to make. Don't doubt it.

Good luck!

Lots of love,

Amanda

P.S. For future reference, when your future mother-in-law asks you if you have 'E K Ya' in England, your answer is "yes but we call it Ikea". Don't shake your head and look at her as if she's from another planet.

Filling Our Family Memory Treasure Trove

One of my favourite quotes
Photo Credit: Gretchen Rubin
The Happiness Project

I've just booked a family photo session with Vinita Salomé. It's our second appointment with her and we'd really like to make an annual thing of a family photo session because whilst some days seem incredibly long looking after three young boys I'm very aware of how fast the years are flying by.

Fun was the key word of our first session with
Vinita!
Photo Credit: Vinita Salome

It's striking that we have thousands and thousands of family photos but the one thing that is notable looking through is how few we have of all five of us.  Take a look back at your family photo collection - how many photos do you have with all of you on there? A professional photographer capturing the five of us together at least one time a year is us "indulging in a (not so) modest splurge" (see Gretchin Ruben's The Happiness Project for more on this idea) to add something really special to our treasure trove of family memories.

We met Vinita for the first time last summer early on a clear, beautiful, sunny summer Sunday morning in an unforgettable setting: the Binnenhof in The Hague. The Dutch parliament square is usually bustling with tourists, media and politicians whenever it is featured on the TV news. It's been a hive of activity whenever I have been there in the past. This particular morning it was a deserted terrain. We had the Binnenhof to ourselves for at least the first half of the photo session. And our two eldest boys (then 2 and 5) revelled in the space and freedom to run around and play, chasing each other through arch ways and up and down stairs. Their energy was contagious and heart-warming. How funny to think they were having such fun just meters away from the political heart of the Netherlands!

Ending the session on an even higher note!
Photo Credit: Vinita Salome

As the minutes went by the Binnenhof began to fill up with people; police officers on horseback, the familiar face of the regular ice cream vendor and of course snap happy tourists from far off lands. So to round the session off we treated the boys to an ice cream and they were let loose with dripping, creamy covered cones.

Not only did Vinita capture precious moments with her camera but the six of us had a fabulous time. It was playful and relaxed - and that shows on every photo. We not only have prints and a CD of many wonderful pictures of my family, but we also have the memories of excited, carefree children running to their heart's content in a place they usually wouldn't be able to explore so freely.

The image of my two year old careering around a corner laughing uncontrollably to himself is ingrained in my memory bank. Peals of laughter filled the Binnenhof for ninety minutes - nice to think of such happy sounds replacing the usual political rumblings and grumblings that take place in that particular square.....

So, this year's session will take place in September so that gives us enough time to come up with another magical place.


You can see many more photos from our session on Vinita's photo blog.

Do you have any tips for our next location? Where have you had family photos taken? Do you think a family photo session with a professional photographer is worth the investment?

Why We Should Tell Our Children Expat Tales

A love story with a trailer
Photo Credit:Michal Zacharzewski SXC

My eldest son is at the age where he has started asking lots of questions about my past, about how life was in England, how I met his father and how I came to the Netherlands. It's a fabulous period of curiosity but also a great reminder for me and my husband of how far we've come. The details of exactly how we met (online in a chatroom) don't really make any sense for him yet (it's something we still find hard to believe looking back so we certainly can't expect a six year old to wrap his head around it) but the story of his papa coming to England by boat with a borrowed Dutch police trailer to collect his mama and all her belongings falls on eager, listening ears time after time. And we love telling the story.

There's nothing traditional about how I came to meet a Dutchman, sell up my flat in Watford, England and move to the Netherlands to make a new life and so it makes for some awesome story telling for our curious children at the stage where they want to know everything that happened before they arrived on the scene.

Last week, a great blog post by Drie Culturen asked whether there was a difference between children and adults living abroad.  In the post, Janneke argues that there is a big difference, namely because adults living abroad have already formed their own identity but a child's identity is still evolving. Whilst she talks about children from the point of view of them growing up abroad her tips are still relevant for those of us raising children in a country where they are native but we, as a parent, are not. She talks about helping children to form their own identity by telling stories about their heritage. She says tell your children stories about their grandparents. I couldn't agree more. And I would also add tell them about your own life back in your home country, about growing up in another country. Tell them their parent's love story. Tell them their birth story. Tell them every story you can think of about their family.

Not all stories need come from books. Share your
family stories with your children
Photo Credit: Patrick Nijhuis

Not only does it help mould their identity, it turns out that story telling is good for their memory too!  An excellent article called "The Stories That Bind Us" in the New York Times about research undertaken to find out whether children that knew more about their past faced adversity better than children with less knowledge about their family's past states,

"The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned."

That's quite something - research showed that children who have a good knowledge of their own family and past functioned better in challenging situations. Brian Gresko followed this topic up in an article and wrote,

"Storytelling has benefits beyond entertainment, which explains why humans have been telling stories for as long as we know. It’s one of the elements that makes us human, I think.........Having a shared story, a shared collection of memories, is a powerful unifying force between people – whether those stories be ones we tell as a nation, an ethnic group, a workforce, or a family."

And as expats, we have some amazing stories to tell our children.... so what are you waiting for? Share those stories today!

What stories do you tell your children about the country you were born in? What stories do you tell about grandparents and your brothers and sisters growing up? I would love to hear your stories!

Sharing Our Roots - an Interview with Vinita Salome

If you don't already know Vinita Salome, let me introduce you. Vinita is a photographer. Well, actually she's not just any photographer. She's an exceptional talent behind a camera lens. She specialises in capturing the essence of families and children and creates atmospheric memories to treasure. I should know because I have a host of such pictures hanging on my wall.

Vinita is an expat here in the Netherlands with an interesting background. She was born and raised in Japan and went  back to her roots when she moved to India aged seventeen.

She now lives in the Dutch city of Gouda, where her son was born six years ago. Her son has Dutch and Indian nationality and Vinita thinks it is important that he grows up with an understanding of the countries she grew up and lived in. Vinita explains why,

"We have family in both India and Japan. My brother lives in Japan and is married to a Japanese lady and together they have a daughter. My mother lives in India."

Vinita learnt how to share the culture and traditions of the country she was born in and the country of her family roots by turning back to her own childhood and remembering how her parents shared her roots with her,

"My mother cooked delicious Indian food, we spoke Sindhi (one of the Indian languages) and English at home, and learnt Japanese when we lived there.  We were part of an Indian club where festivals were celebrated and children took part in the celebrations. We had Indian neighbours. We visited India almost every summer and met our extended family."

So Vinita is well prepared to teach her son about Japan and India. She too shares her culture and past with her son through food and language.

"I cook a mix of Asian foods, leaning towards Japanese street food. I cook mostly stir fried food and buy a lot of Japanese ingredients from the Asian supermarkets. I only cook Indian friends visit although I love to eat it. I speak to my son in Japanese when Japanese friends are around, and when I have my Indian friends here we speak together in English. In India, through prefixes, it is easy to identify who is who in the family. For example, Nani is mother’s mother and Masi is Mother’s sister and so on. Explaining these prefixes also makes him aware of things that are done differently.

On my last trip to India, I bought several comic books and dvd’s featuring many Indian mythological figures. He watches these, is curious to know more and asks questions about them. And when he is in India, or if he happens to see a Ganesh in someone’s house, he points it out to me.

We also listen to old Japanese folk tale CD’s in the car which has proved to be quite a hit with him.
He watches Japanese stuff only when he is with Japanese people, so in this way I try to build in some consistency and separation so that his mind isn’t flooded."

Vinita also highlights that communication with her family in Japan and India is an incredibly valuable tool to show her son how her life was in the countries she grew up in.

"Skype really works for communicating with my brother and his family. It’s just lovely to see how my niece and my son communicate and exchange notes. Japan also celebrates many traditions based on the seasons and when we chat we share these traditions and share so much about our different lives," she tells.

Of course, modern day technology makes it much easier for expats to keep in touch with family than in years gone by but at the end of the day nothing compares to actually visiting a country to taste the cuisine, witness the traditions in action, absorb the culture and understand what life there is like. Vinita knows this all too well and tries to visit family as much as she can.

But sharing your childhood life with your own children is not always easy. Vinita explains one problem they faced the last time they took a trip to India,

"Since I mainly cook Asian/Japanese meals at home, it was difficult to find food that my son could enjoy. We managed to introduce him to new tastes, but since I myself lean towards the Japanese cuisine, I see that the Indian cuisine gets left behind and he starts wanting food that he is used to eating like pasta and pancakes."

Sharing her childhood languages with her son is also an area Vinita has to work hard at.

"I find that I have to be consistent in all aspects of sharing my culture and traditions, but especially where language is concerned. Since my son doesn’t have an equal amount of vocabulary in English or Japanese, it’s easy to slip into Dutch while speaking to me. I notice that I’m the one who needs to keep at it."

Despite both the physical distance and the cultural differences between the Netherlands and Japan and India Vinita still finds it easy to share information about both countries with her son. She elaborates,

"I’m just fascinated how children can take in so much information where language is concerned, and their flexibility in how they adjust to cultures."

Top Tips from Vinita to Teach Your Children about Your Origins

• Use the palette and share tastes with your children by cooking traditional meals at home
• Shop together for different ingredients that represent your country of origin - we frequent Asian supermarkets. 
• Eat out in restaurants that cook the cuisine of your birth land - we go to Indian or Japanese restaurants so that he knows the difference.
• Teach the language of your birth country - in our household we speak Dutch, English and Japanese
• Use cartoons, books and DVD's to share language and culture
• Use tools like Skye to stay in regular contact with family in other countries
• Take a trip - nothing beats visiting a country and family

And a last note from Vinita, which I thinks sums up beautifully how lucky us expats and our children are,

"I feel privileged to have been exposed to so many countries, cultures, and languages and that exposure has helped me in my life. I would like to pass this on to my son and hopefully it will also help him with his endeavours."

Baby Boxes - Gratis!

If you're pregnant in the Netherlands there are freebies to be had - and if you are even a little bit integrated and living like a Dutchie.. then gratis is good! Very good!

You can sign up for baby boxes which contain free samples and small gifts, as well as discount vouchers and information about baby related items and issues. This gives you a chance to sample leading brands before you commit to buying them - particularly handy if you are pregnant with your first baby.

Prenatal and Etos both do baby boxes (one before and one after the birth). Prenatal offers the "blije doos" which you can collect when you are around seven months pregnant, and the "baby doos" when your new arrival is around three months old. To find out more, including what you can find inside the baby boxes, visit http://www.babyinfo.nl/wijjongeouders/deblijedoos.asp.

Etos do a Zwanger Box (which can be collected from your nearest Etos shop up to week 34 of your pregnancy) and a Baby Box when your baby is around three months old.

In the boxes you will find dummies, bibs, comforters, formula samples (for 6 months plus as companies may not legally give out free formula samples meant for the first few months of a baby's life), parenting magazines, bottles, creams and nappies. it provides a great little cache of baby items to get you started - and best of all at no cost!

Are these baby boxes offered in other countries too?