The Memories in a Clothes Peg

I was just hanging up the washing on the drying rack that hangs over the bannister in our attic when I dropped a clothes peg. I was struck by a wave of nostalgia as I watched the brown, wooden peg tumble down the stairs. Yes, a clothes peg. An innocent everyday household item but it momentarily stopped me in my tracks. I paused what I was doing whilst my thoughts involuntarily floated back to a different time. One not so long ago in reality but one that feels so long ago.

Once upon a time I needed a LOT of pegs to hang the washing up on the clothes dryers. The clothes were so small, the line was full of tiny socks, little sleeveless rompers, all in one baby suits, pyjamas, cloths. I could get five or six items on one line of the clothes airer, sometimes even more. By the time I'd finished hanging up the load from the washing machine my peg bag would be empty.

In fact, my clothes peg collection just kept growing to keep up with my growing family. Layer upon layer of tiny clothes hanging to dry. A reminder of the babies in the house. Babies that went through a few outfits a day, creating endless lines of washing. Tiny, tiny clothes making up stacks and stacks of washing.

And now, this morning, in the emotional aftermath of celebrating my eldest's seventh birthday, it suddenly struck me that the peg bag is never empty. There are never more than two clothes items hanging side by side to dry on the line.

The trousers are suddenly bigger, the T-shirts are wider and longer, some of the children's socks are hard to distinguish from my own. The endless lines of muslins are long gone, now used as cleaning rags or disposed of after years of mopping up after the beautiful babies that have filled our home.

There are a few rompers left, but they are no longer those of a baby, but of an active toddler who will soon have no need of nappies nor the rompers that encase them.

There are shirts and pyjamas that hang to dry that have been with us from the time my eldest was a toddler, now on their third and last adventure. Soon they too will be too small for my little family and they will head to a local woman's shelter, to join the baby clothes we sent there, donations to help other families who are in need, other babies that are less fortunate than mine. Those little garments hang now on the clothes line of another home. A far different home than the ones they started off in.

I hope when a mother dresses her baby there in the shelter, in a second hand romper and a pair of soft blue velvety trousers, despite the difficulty she finds herself in, she sees the miracle before her, holds her bundle and is filled with love. And the clothes we donated have new life breathed into them.

So, I guess, one of theses days, I'll be able to get rid of lots of clothes pegs. But for now, I count my blessings - all because I dropped a clothes peg this morning.

How To Get Your Children to Fall in Love with Reading

I read an article last week about boys falling behind girls in school and particularly when it comes to reading. I am a writer, therefore I read. I read a lot. Whilst I don't quite have the time to read like I used to pre-motherhood I still try and get through as many books as I can. If you want your kids to read, then be a role model for them, let them see you reading for pleasure. I encourage my three sons to look at books as much as possible and so far it has paid off - my sons love looking at books and it is fun to watch my eldest enthusiastically start his reading journey.

"Kids with parents who read for pleasure are six times more likely to do so themselves -- and their grades shoot up. Which is why I talk about the books I love, and ask kids about their favorites, every chance I get." Lisa Bloom (Author, 'Swagger: 10 Urgent Rules for Raising Boys in an Era of Failing Schools, Mass Joblessness and Thug Culture')

I was quite shocked to read that boys have a tendency to think that reading is a girl's thing and I intend to do everything in my power to make sure my three sons continue to think that reading is the most natural thing in the world and I want to keep them interested in it as a foundation for later years. Not only are their language skills enhanced, reading also provides fun moments and important relaxation for children who tend to be hopping from one extra-curriculum activity to another.

Story Time
(c) Amanda van Mulligen

Books are an important part of our home. To get children looking at books the most important thing is make them accessible. We have a bookcase in our front room and the bottom two shelves are filled with books for the children. Even our 19 month old shuffles over to the bookcase, grabs himself a book, toddles over to the sofa and inelegantly hoists himself up to sit so he can thumb through his book. When he's finished he throws the book on the floor or table and returns to the bookcase for another book. (We're working on the last stage of this with him......)

My eldest two often sit with a book for a few minutes before we leave for school in the mornings and discuss the size of dinosaurs, the meaness of the look on a T-Rex's face or how fast Thomas the Tank Engine can go around Sodor.

They also each have a bookshelf in their room with English and Dutch language books, and we keep books on hand in the car to entertain them on longer journeys. They never have the excuse that they can't get to a book!

To keep children interested, you can put a basket of books under the coffee table filled with topically themed book. Gather books about summer as warmer days come to greet us, or about autumn as the leaves turn to beautiful shades of red and start tumbling to the ground, or put a basket of Christmas related books under the Christmas tree - keeping a theme going makes reading particularly relevant to the children. You can also match the book theme to projects the children are working on in school, or for pre-schoolers events or celebrations that effect them such as potty training, birthdays or an impending house or country move.

Story time also gets children buzzing about books in our house. If you make story time an event it not only provides cosy family moments to cherish, but also shows children how fun and uniting books can be. In the summertime grab a blanket and an ice cream and sit under the shade of a tree with a book and read to your kids. Last Christmastime the five of us gathered around the dining table, illuminated only by candlelight, holding our mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows and listened to papa reading "De Kleine Kerstman" (Santa's Littlest Helper). The kids loved it and were a captive audience. And we did too. And as a bonus, you show your sons that reading is not a girly activity if dad is the one doing the reading.

Use books as the basis for other activities
(c) Amanda van Mulligen

Using books as the foundation for other activities is also popular in our house. My three year old and I recently sat and read The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle together. Then we grabbed play dough and made the caterpillar and the food he ate through. My pre-schooler loved it. There are so many wonderful, creative websites out there that can give you ideas - one of my favourites is The Imagination Tree.

I also recently had the pleasure of reviewing Giselle Shardlow's kid's yoga book Luke's Beach Day: A Fun and Educational Kids Yoga Story and we had a lot of fun going through this book together - reading and then trying out the yoga positions. Such activity books are a great way to get kids falling in love with books.

If you are lucky enough to still have a local library then make use of it. It has a real sense of an outing for my children when we say we're going to the library to choose some books. It's a great way to build on the fleeting interests that children suddenly have. My six year old has become fascinated with dinosaurs so we took him to the library to check some books out. He loved choosing them and his library membership is free. Many libraries also have a regular story time for toddlers which is great fun for them, and makes the idea of books and reading natural from the start.

Some of our family favourites:

Filling Our Family Memory Treasure Trove

One of my favourite quotes
Photo Credit: Gretchen Rubin
The Happiness Project

I've just booked a family photo session with Vinita Salomé. It's our second appointment with her and we'd really like to make an annual thing of a family photo session because whilst some days seem incredibly long looking after three young boys I'm very aware of how fast the years are flying by.

Fun was the key word of our first session with
Vinita!
Photo Credit: Vinita Salome

It's striking that we have thousands and thousands of family photos but the one thing that is notable looking through is how few we have of all five of us.  Take a look back at your family photo collection - how many photos do you have with all of you on there? A professional photographer capturing the five of us together at least one time a year is us "indulging in a (not so) modest splurge" (see Gretchin Ruben's The Happiness Project for more on this idea) to add something really special to our treasure trove of family memories.

We met Vinita for the first time last summer early on a clear, beautiful, sunny summer Sunday morning in an unforgettable setting: the Binnenhof in The Hague. The Dutch parliament square is usually bustling with tourists, media and politicians whenever it is featured on the TV news. It's been a hive of activity whenever I have been there in the past. This particular morning it was a deserted terrain. We had the Binnenhof to ourselves for at least the first half of the photo session. And our two eldest boys (then 2 and 5) revelled in the space and freedom to run around and play, chasing each other through arch ways and up and down stairs. Their energy was contagious and heart-warming. How funny to think they were having such fun just meters away from the political heart of the Netherlands!

Ending the session on an even higher note!
Photo Credit: Vinita Salome

As the minutes went by the Binnenhof began to fill up with people; police officers on horseback, the familiar face of the regular ice cream vendor and of course snap happy tourists from far off lands. So to round the session off we treated the boys to an ice cream and they were let loose with dripping, creamy covered cones.

Not only did Vinita capture precious moments with her camera but the six of us had a fabulous time. It was playful and relaxed - and that shows on every photo. We not only have prints and a CD of many wonderful pictures of my family, but we also have the memories of excited, carefree children running to their heart's content in a place they usually wouldn't be able to explore so freely.

The image of my two year old careering around a corner laughing uncontrollably to himself is ingrained in my memory bank. Peals of laughter filled the Binnenhof for ninety minutes - nice to think of such happy sounds replacing the usual political rumblings and grumblings that take place in that particular square.....

So, this year's session will take place in September so that gives us enough time to come up with another magical place.


You can see many more photos from our session on Vinita's photo blog.

Do you have any tips for our next location? Where have you had family photos taken? Do you think a family photo session with a professional photographer is worth the investment?

Making Memories and Sharing Traditions

Our gingerbread house

I hold my head in shame as I realise it has been over a month since my last posting. What can I say? It has been a busy festive season and other things outside the blog have snowballed and there has been little time to catch up here.

More than any other year I have paid particular attention to passing on festive traditions to my children, as well as creating new ones with them during the Christmas period. As my three boys get older they start appreciating the little things connected with each season, and they remember things the following year.

So this Christmas time was about the little things, about creating memories whilst making the most of every day and concentrating on the five of us being a family. Each day my two eldest boys took turns to open a door on the advent calendar, and as often as I could I chose an advent card with an activity on it.

Making tree decorations
(c) Amanda van Mulligen

That meant we made a gingerbread house and the boys had a fabulous time decorating it (including the biggest boy in the house - my husband). We went for an evening torch lit walk in the neighbourhood. We made tree decorations from white dough and sprinkled them with silver glitter. We had a winter solstice dinner by candlelight. We decorated the Christmas tree together (the two oldest boys putting decorations on the tree and my 14 month old pulling them all off again....) and we made paper snowflakes. We watched The Polar Express as a family and even my youngest sat with us quietly for the duration of the film. We hung our stockings up on our bedroom doors and left a mince pie and a Baileys out for Father Christmas (the boys had been told by a certain someone that Baileys was always welcome as a tipple for Santa). On Christmas morning we opened the presents in our stockings, had freshly baked muffins for breakfast and then opened the presents under the tree. After Christmas the two older boys went to the circus with their dad and on new year's eve we went to the Winter Wonderland in the Spoorwegmuseum in Utrecht where the boys skated and we all drank hot chocolate whilst listening to a great band play some familiar numbers. We had a great time. Memories to keep safe.

A winter solstice dinner by candlelight
(c) Amanda van Mulligen

Of course, before we knew it, the Christmas holidays were over and it was time to head back to school and work. Back to normal life - enter flu and pneumonia!! After a week of illness I am back on track and can finally play catch up..... oh and get everything sorted for my son's 6th birthday party at the weekend.

On the topic of traditions.... long before the Christmas period I asked some expats to share some of the ways they pass on their home culture and traditions to their children who were born in a different country. Over the coming weeks I'll share what they had to say with you in a new blog series. Watch this space!