How to Get (and Keep) Your Bilingual Child Writing

I've been living in the Netherlands for more than fifteen years and although my daily life is conducted in Dutch, writing remains the weakest area of my Dutch language skills. I need to really think about every single word and sentence I write. So it's no wonder that this is also the area I find hardest whilst raising my children to be bilingual. And it's the topic I have chosen for the Multicultural Kid Blogs carnival about raising multicultural children.

Why Bother with Writing in a Second Language?

The first question you may be asking yourself is why bother. Gone are the days when we hand write everything; we have computers now. We have auto correct and spelling check. Why spend so much time trying to teach our children to write in a second or third language? The Russian Step by Step team sum it up:

"Yes, everyone will agree that in the modern world we have a lot less opportunities to use handwriting than even 50 years ago. Everyone, even toddlers, use the “screens” and start typing at a very early age." Russian Step by Step

But there are still many reason whys handwriting is today still an important tool to help your children improve their language skills. Russian Step by Step give four great reasons in their post Why Learn the Russian Handwriting? which apply to other languages too.

The European Mama also points out just how far handwriting is cultural - it differs across the world, and not just because of the different alphabets:

Writing is something special!

How Do Children Learn to Write

Bilingual Avenue has a whole podcast dedicated to helping you understand How do kids really learn to write, as well as this one to support you in teaching your child to write in the home language.

Of course, to be able to write in a language a child also needs to be able to read, which is the theme of a great post on Spanish Playground, tips to help teach those first steps to reading: Spanish Syllables: Learning to Read.

Multilingual Parenting shares tips in a post called 'From bilingual to biliterate':

"What you can do as a parent to nurture this interest is being a great role model for literacy. Read lots of books to (and later with) your child. Following the words with your finger while reading allows your child to make the connection between the sounds, letters and words. Write notes, cards and letters. If you have nothing else to write on a day, make writing the shopping list something that you do together." Multilingual Parenting

Use day to day chores to practice writing, make use of technology and get your children writing emails to family members in their second language.

Make Writing Fun to Keep Children Engaged

Being able to write in a language is important and there are ways to encourage, motivate and help your children develop an enthusiasm for writing in a language that is not their native tongue. 

Adam Beck (Bilingual Monkeys) advocates making literacy development fun - and as far as I'm concerned keeping it fun is one of the best tips for parents raising multilingual children. His idea of Silly Stories is a sure fire way to get children laughing and learning! 

Another idea over on the blog Family Life in Spain is to use story cubes to create stories that can also be written. My children love story cubes but we have only used them to make up verbal stories so I love this idea of taking it further and actually writing down the little tales we make up.

Fun is also the key to this post by Raising a Trilingual Child - not just fun but food too!

"Apparently there is nothing as easy and fun as teaching your child letters using an aromatic Italian mortadella! One evening I was preparing appetizer for kids, I took a big piece of  mortadella, the Italian heat-cured meat sausage,  and started slicing it and cutting it in cubes and sticks." Raising a Trilingual Child

There are eight more creative tips on Discovering the World Through my Son's Eyes to keep your children engaged in reading and writing from bingo to mini books. She realises that as parents raising bilingual children we sometimes need to think out a little outside the box:

There are other ideas and tips in the post "Easy way of teaching your bilingual kids to write in a minority language" on how to get your child writing in their second (or third) language over on Raising a Trilingual Child, who also reminds us of something important:

Just Start Writing

I journal. I write daily. I read daily. I read with my children on an almost daily basis (if not me then my husband does so we alternate between Dutch and English books). And I hope by doing these things the importance of reading and writing, in both languages, becomes engrained in my children - that practicing these skills just come naturally to my boys.

Writing can be in many forms:

Journaling - I am currently exchanging journal entries with my eldest boys using The Time Capsule and Between Mom and Me, journals that have been made especially for children. I have written before about how to use journals to encourage writing in a second language - and it's a tool that really works for us.

A Pen Pal - Read why everyone should have a pen pal here.

I have five more ways in this post: 5 Ways to Encourage a Child to Write in a Second Language

And finally, in his blog post "Do This One Simple Thing and I Guarantee You Greater Success On Your Bilingual Journey" Adam Beck explains just how important writing is as a tool on your bilingual journey, not just for our children but for us too, to help us raise our bilinguals:

"Just start writing: No matter who you are, or what your circumstances are like, if you make writing about your bilingual journey a priority in your life—a firm and regular routine—you will inevitably strengthen your awareness and your actions, and accordingly, your children’s bilingual development." Bilingual Monkeys

Long Hat - My First Dutch Children's Book Translation

I am thrilled to introduce you all to Long Hat, who up until very recently only existed in the form of a Dutch kabouter called Langmuts. I worked on the translation of 'Langmuts is een held' for Scrivo Media and I'm so proud that the 'Long Hat is a Hero' book has been released.

This is just one of a long list of things I would never have ended up doing had I not moved to the Netherlands, not opted for an expat life and not learnt Dutch. We are all on our own path, sometimes that path is chosen for us (like when we meet a Dutch man and fall in love), sometimes we consciously choose a direction ourselves and whilst none of us can see what is around the corner expat life generally manages to throw up surprises, challenges and opportunities. Long Hat falls quite easily in the first and last of those categories.

I was contacted last year about translating Langmuts because of my Happy Sensitive Kids blog and I didn't hesitate to say yes. Langmuts was a part of my family's life before I was contacted about turning him into an English gnome. The Langmuts series is written with highly sensitive children in mind (though they are fantastic stories for any children) and so we had the complete series on our bookshelf long before I became personally involved. My sons relate to Langmuts. My eldest son had his first - 'Wow, that's just like me" moment reading 'Langmuts is een held' so you can understand that there was no hesitation to get involved in the Long Hat series. (You can read more about this on the Happy Sensitive Kids blog.)

And so, my first Dutch children's book translation is available now. Right now. From Amazon UK (it is not currently available in the USA - lots of people have already asked so I wanted to pre-empt those questions!) and for those of you in the Netherlands you can get the book from Scrivo Media, with no delivery costs.

'Message in a Bottle' Kickstarter Kick Off: 5 Reasons to Get Involved

I've been part of a book launch team behind the scenes for a little while now and I'm delighted to share that the wonderful team behind this new personalised children's book has now kicked off their Kickstarter campaign. The next phase of 'Message in a Bottle' is here and you can be a part of it.

There are a couple of reasons I got involved in this book:

1. As an expat, I love the idea behind this book. You compose the message and it gets delivered in a personalised book to that special child in your life. For those of you who don't get to live on the doorstep of grandchildren, nephews, nieces, godchildren or your friends' children, this is a great way of letting them know you're thinking of them - and whenever they read the story they are reminded of you. This is such a great way to say something special that will always be remembered.

2. My boys LOVE seeing their own names in a book, with them being woven into a story. What child doesn't?

3. The illustrations in 'Message in a Bottle' are just gorgeous.

4. The message you can send a child is flexible. And that's unique. Often a message is restricted in a personalised book, or comprises just a name and one line. Message in a Bottle goes above and beyond the normal idea of a personalised book!

5. I love books. My kids love books. The End.

So how can you get involved too? Head over to the 'Message in a Bottle' Kickstarter page and watch the video, which tells you lots more and introduces you to the story maker and ilustrator. Then pick one of the great Kickstarter rewards and make your pledge. It's as easy as that.

How Two Peuterspeelzaal Teachers Changed How I Parent My Sons

I am the mother of three highly sensitive sons. I myself am highly sensitive. I learnt this fact because of amazing teachers at my eldest son's peuterspeelzaal. They recognised traits and behaviours in him at the age of three that are consistent with being highly sensitive.

Goodbyes in school were heart wrenching for him from day one. It took months for him to get used to being left in school. And because it was such an emotional hurdle for him, it was incredibly upsetting for me too. No parent likes to leave a child anywhere when they are crying, kicking out and obviously feeling lost.

However, as the weeks went by it took my son less and less time to 'recover' from me leaving him in the peuterspeelzaal. I had immense faith in his teachers that he would be okay once I was gone. And if he wasn't they would call me.

One day, when my husband picked my son up from school, everything changed for my little family because two Dutch teachers did their job exceptionally and they took the time to really see my son. They uttered the words 'highly sensitive'.  It was the start of a parenting journey that I am still on. It's the reason why Happy Sensitive Kids was born. The reason why the peuterspeelzaal will always have a place in my heart, even though all my boys are now in primary school.

"The term ‘highly sensitive’ meant nothing to me six years ago, back when I was the bewildered mother of a three-year-old boy who seemed unable to tolerate the world around him."

You can read the whole story over on Mamalode: The Day I Became the Mother My Sons Need Me to Be.

A Visit to the Science Center NEMO in Amsterdam

Have you been to Science Center NEMO in Amsterdam yet? Well, if you haven't then putting it on your to do list is a must, particularly if you have curious children who wonder how the world around them works.

We visited just before Easter and my three sons loved it (they are 9, 5 and 4). The museum is a showcase of science and technology and great for children to understand the how, why and what.

They can do experiments in a laboratory, discover the science behind emotions and the human mind, learn about space and water power and there's a special exhibition about teens running at the moment for those of you with hormonal older children. And lots lots more. The whole centre is highly interactive, fun and educational.

During the weekend of the 23rd and 24th of April there's even more reason to check out Science Center NEMO It's the grand opening of the Energetica exhibition on the museum rooftop and entry to the museum is free. Expect it to be busy though (remember the importance of gratis in the Netherlands?)!

The museum is within walking distance of Amsterdam Central Station.

I'll let the photos do the rest of the talking!

A Kid's Journal to Encourage A Child to Write in a Second Language

We're raising our three Dutch boys bilingually, with the primary aim that they are comfortable speaking English with their British and American family. I am always on the look out for fun, interesting ways to encourage my sons to speak in English, listen to English or read English books. The biggest challenge however, is getting my nine year old to write in English. I was delighted when a great opportunity for him to practice his English penmanship fell into our laps.

I'm a fan of journaling for many reasons, and I believe it is a valuable tool for children as well as adults. The Time Capsule kid's journal turned out to be not only great fun and insightful, but a great way to get my eldest voluntarily writing in English. Without me pushing or nagging my son chose to write in his second language.

Why You Should Visit the Dutch Town of Medemblik

Ever been to Medemblik? It's in North Holland, nestled peacefully on the banks of the IJsselmeer, which is the largest lake in West Europe. My family spent a long weekend there last week at the start of the school spring break - and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised about just how lovely it is in that area.

Starting School in the Netherlands - Little Steps to the Basisschool

As I mentioned in a previous post all of my children are now of school going age. *Gulp* As soon as a child turns four they may start attending primary school in the Netherlands - a big step for such a little person.

"There have been tears. There have been bursts of anger because he doesn’t want to go to a new school. Through the eyes of my highly sensitive three year old all that change is bad, scary. 

“Te spannend!” he shouts through his tears."

For my youngest it was a bigger step than he could handle in one go, so we broke the transition up into baby steps to help him get used to going to school every day. We're still busy with that transition, but so far, so good.

You can read more in my latest article, Little Steps to the Basisschool, written for Passionate Parenting, which shares how we have dealt with the latest big change to hit our family as well as tips and info about starting school in the Netherlands.

5 Reasons We Love the Lost My Name Books: A Review and A Giveaway

Lost My Name is a wonderful gift book concept for children and the good news is that the company has just arrived in the Netherlands. Three 'Lost My Name' books dropped on our doormat** last week, two in English (The Little Girl/Boy Who Lost Her/His Name) and one in Dutch (Wat een Pech, Mijn Naam is Weg). We were not disappointed!

Here are 5 reasons we love the latest additions to our bookshelves.

1. The order process was easy. 

Very easy. Often with personalised books there is a list of questions that parents have to puzzle over and within a week of getting the book the information is out of date  (eg who is your child's best friend? What is their favourite colour?). This is not the case with the Lost My Name Books. You simply type in your child's name, click whether they are a boy or a girl and then specify which language you would like the book in. That's it*. What's more is that you can see exactly how the book will look before you confirm the order.

*And your address details and the slight matter of payment of course. Oh, and postage costs are nil. Nothing. Nada.

2. The story is mesmerising

In short a child awakes to find their name gone from their bedroom door. The story that unfolds through the book is the quest to find the letters that make up their name. And it is done in an enchanting way meeting all sorts of wonderful magical animals and creatures.

My 5-year-old son really enjoyed reeling through the letters we already had, and telling me which letters he still needed to complete his name. It was so lovely to see him pulled in to the story!


3. Each book is unique

Because the story is focussed on collecting the letters of a child's name each book is unique. Each of my sons (3, 5 and 8) have a Lost My Name book, and because we wisely named each of our children differently, each of their books is different which makes them feel pretty special!

In fact the books are so unique that you could order one in English and one in Dutch for the same child and they would be completely different stories.

Whilst reading the English version with my eldest son he posed an interesting question about how the book would be with my name, given how I have three 'A's in my name. Would I meet the same animal three times to collect 'A's?  I checked it out and the short answer is no I wouldn't. Three different creatures.

4. The illustrations are beautiful

Gorgeous in fact. I love the illustrations in the books, and so do my sons. I can't say anything else except how beautifully illustrated these books are. Stunningly beautiful. Even my artistic husband was highly impressed by the images in these books.

5. Fabulous quality

The books themselves are of a top notch quality - proper durable pages that will stand the test of daily bedtime reading.

Some additional random thoughts and observations

The 'Lost My Name' website states the target audience of the books at between 2 to 6 years but it certainly wasn't too babyish for my 8 year old (in English which is his second language) and personally I think this book makes a beautiful kraamkado.

The book is available in English (UK and US), Dutch, German, Italian, Spanish, French.

And one more thing - last but absolutely not least -

I have one personalised book to giveaway - and a discount of 15% for ten other readers. 

All you have to do is tell me underneath (and enter your details in Rafflecopter*) in the comments how you came up with the name for your child. I want to hear the funny, heartwarming and bizarre ways you came up with names. I would love to read about the near miss stories of how your child almost ended up with a name you would have regretted later. I want to hear the tales of how your child remained nameless for days, weeks, months (ok maybe just days) because you couldn't agree on a name. Were there dual language issues to consider? How did you finally decide on a name for your children?

In our case I loved the Dutch name Joost but my husband had previously had a dog called the same so had a strange association with the name. Furthermore, we worried about how the name Joost would be butchered by my British family and friends. In Dutch the 'J' is a soft 'J' and pronounced as a 'Y'. The double 'OO' is more an 'O' sound (but slightly longer) than the English 'OO' found in boot for example. In Britain I'm sure our son would have ended up being called Juiced. And that didn't appeal........ So Joost was scrapped.

So over to you........

a Rafflecopter giveaway


*Rafflecopter will not be used to randomly pick a winner but will facilitate contacting the chosen winners.

** Lost my Name approached me to review their books to coincide with their launch onto the Dutch market. Three books were provided to me at no cost. Aside from the free books I get no compensation for any sales made or by hosting this competition. All opinions are my own and because the books are so lovely I agreed to a giveaway. And that is the end of the small print....

An Expat Guide to the Dutch Avond4daagse

Last week my family walked the avond4daagse for the first time. For those of you who have never had the pleasure, but are bursting to know what exactly an avond4daagse entails, here's the low down.

Here are all the answers to the burning questions you could possibly ever have about this annual quintessential Dutch event.

Q. What is the avond4daagse?
A. It's basically a community walk that takes place over four evenings. Thousands of children and some of their teachers and parents walk either 5, 10 or 15 kilometers per evening. The majority opt to shuffle along behind each other for 5 kilometers so that children actually get to bed before midnight. It is worth noting that because of the sheer volume of bodies moving in the same direction at one time it feels like you walk at least twice the 5km distance.

Note that many children are accompanied by one parent whilst the sane one enjoys the peace and quiet at home.

Q. Who takes part in the avond4daagse?
A. Schools, families, sports clubs, walking groups, random people and their dogs.

Q.  What's the point of the avond4daagse?
A. The idea is to be the first one from your school to reach the finish point, dodging and weaving your way through the crowds; anything goes to get ahead so long as you don't run or injure more than 3 other people along the route.

Of course that is not in the slightest bit true but at times felt like it was indeed the case. The real purpose is 'gezelligheid". What else would it be living in the land of the Dutch? A lovely walk after dinner with a few thousand strangers is gezellig right? That, and promote exercise.

Q. How much does it cost?
A. Now let's get down to the nitty gritty. If you have been in any way Dutchified since living in the Netherlands you'll want to know about the financial side of it. It's NOT gratis. We paid five euro each but I have no idea if that is a standard charge.

Q. So, I hear you cry, what do I get for my money, apart from gezelligheid of course?
A. You get a drink and something to eat at the half way point provided by the school you signed up with. You get a bag with a few snacks, vouchers, a cap, badge and stickers on your first day and on the last day you get a medal. Plus an amount goes to a local charity. Well, that's how it worked for us. It's possible that each school and council arrange it differently.

Q. How did this avond4daagse lark start?
It's an offspring of the Nijmegen 4 day international marches. In 1940, the Nijmegen march didn't take place because of the mobilization of Dutch troops. As a result there were lots of restless walkers milling about in het Gooi. Some bright sparks therefore decided to throw together an evening walk spread over four days in het Gooi and before anyone could say, "This reminds me of that Forrest Gump movie," the idea had spread far and wide. In the Netherlands at least.

Q. Is it fun?
A. Is the Pope Catholic? Are the Dutch gezellig? Of course it's fun. Why the hell would thousands of people in one town alone do it if it wan't fun? Moving along...

Q. I'm not a fast walker. Can I still take part in an avond4daagse?
A. We watched snails overtake us. There were numerous near misses as tortoises hurtled by the walking masses. So yes, slow walkers can join in.

Q. Do I have to scream in every tunnel or subway I walk under?
A. It's only obligatory if you are under ten years of age. Ear plugs are handy for accompanying parents and teachers.

Q. If I suffer from hayfever will I be able to walk the avond4dagse?

A. I won't lie. In places the hayfever was dehabilitating. The sneezes came hard and fast one after another as we walked alongside high grasses next to sloot after sloot as the spring evening descended. The sneezing coupled with the fact I've birthed three children and every evening spontaneously needed the toilet almost as soon as we were given the 'go' to start walking, made the avondvierdagse a bit of an extreme sport for me personally. Fortunately, I'm sure non- hayfever sufferers had a very different experience. 

Q. Can I walk the avondvierdagse with a pram?

A. Yes. As long as you are trained to the black belt equivalent in pram manoeuvrings. You'll need to be ruthless whilst refraining from resorting to out and out attacks on those who step over your pram WITH YOUR CHILD IN IT in order to get ahead or catch up with schoolmates/family/strays/their dog on a long lead. 

Q. Are the roads/ cycle paths closed off to traffic during the avond4dagse?

A. In some towns they are. In Zoetermeer they weren't. Again, I'll be honest. There's a risk element to walking the avond4dagse: will I/won't I get hit by a car/angry cyclist/motorbike/oblivious brommer demon? Depending on your outlook on life this can be attractive.

Q. Aren't the kids a little tired as the week goes on?
A. They are knackered. Late to bed, school all day and then a 5km walk. Four days long. Tired isn't the word. I'd use words like: Grumpy, short-fused, chagrijnig, unreasonable, uncooperative and reluctant to get out of bed each morning. But the avond4daagse is gezellig right?

Q. Do crowds line the finish point on the last night adorned with flowers and sweets for the children who have completed their four evenings of walks?
A. Why yes they do. Some children had more bouquets of sweets given to them as a reward for walking 20 km in four evenings than my children have seen in their short lives so far. Nothing says well done for getting all that exercise this week like a couple of kilos of snoepjes.

Q. Would you do it again next year?
A. Absolutely. In a heartbeat.

So there you have it - the avond4daagse. Having completed my first one, and having received a medal for my efforts I am feeling truly smug - and now truly ingeburgerd.

Book Review: Pixie's New Home

Pixie's New Home, written by Emmanuelle Payot Karpathakis and published by Summertime Publishing, is aimed at children between the ages of three and five who are moving to a new home.

Pixie is a donkey who learns that she will leave behind her friend Lila to move to a garden where the grass is greener. At first Pixie is curious about the adventure that lies ahead of her but is then sad at what she will lose. However, she is quickly comfortable in her new environment and makes a new friend, but keeps her old friend in her heart.

The story is short and simple and allows children to follow the emotional stages of a relocation in language they understand. It also sends them the message that it is okay to be sad when they move to a new place.

Furthermore the book is beautifully illustrated in striking colours that is sure to captivate any little globetrotter. At the end of the story there is a colouring page and space for a child to draw their current home and how they imagine their new home will look.

The author has lived in five different countries and has four children of her own as well as being a relocation coach - all factors that qualify her to write this wonderful little story to help young children wrap their heads around the idea of moving.

Pixie's New Home is a great resource to get parents and children talking about relocation and to explain to small children that they will make new friends and adapt to their new home.

Play in a Speelpolder

If you want to truly live like a Dutchie then you make sure your children play. Childhood is about playing, and preferably outside. Bikes and footballs are the most obvious tools but some children are lucky enough to live next to speelpolders - natural areas where children can roam about and play. They are designed with (natural) materials to provide children with a host of things to do outside. They can build little bridges to get over token bodies of water or block them up with those infamous Dutch dams, build dens, crawl in tunnels, explore, hunt for bugs and run around.

What's so great about a speelpolder is that they are always open, cost nothing and get your children exploring. For more information about speelpolders visit http://www.speelpolders.nl.

So, tip number 3 for #LiveLikeaDutchie is play in a speelpolder - a childhood is about playing!

Do speelpolders exist where you live? 

This post is part of the #LiveLikeaDutchie series which is running on this blog for the whole of March 2015. Have you entered the prize giveaway yet? There's still time!

9 Weird British Things

I recently shared a picture on my Facebook page of a Pizza Hut pizza with a Cadbury's Creme Egg crust. Seriously, I couldn't make this up. The response was mixed - some thought it was a culinary adventure that needed to be embarked upon (including my eldest son whose eyes lit up at the thought of a pizza and chocolate combination) and others, the majority, turned their noses up. It got me thinking about other weird British things.......

1. Weird British Food

The British are not automatically associated with haute cuisine....

The British are not really known for their haute cuisine, but that is not to say there is some damn good nosh coming out of the British Isles. However, I will be the first to admit there is also some weird food stuff going on.

Where shall I start? How about with a deep fried Mars Bar? This originated in Scotland when some bright spark thought they would cover a Mars Bar in the batter that is usually reserved for fish and sausages and then deep fry it.

According to Wikipedia:

"The product has not received support from Mars, Inc who said "deep-frying one of our products would go against our commitment to promoting healthy, active lifestyles."

Not sure what is funnier - the reaction from Mars, Inc or deep frying a Mars Bar in the first place.

Then there are many cases where the food itself may not be off the wall but the names certainly are. Here are a few examples: toad in the hole, spotted dick, Welsh rarebit (or rabbit), stargazey pie (which looks weird too).

I rest my case.

2. Weird British Words

Then we have weird British words and there are so many I couldn't possible cover them all here. But two that spring to mind are arse and buggar (or bugger).

You won't hear the word arse used in US (unless my brother has managed to convert his wife) but it means pretty much the same as ass, though maybe just a tad ruder. If you hear a Brit say, "I can't be arsed" it means they cannot be bothered, they do not have the required enthusiasm to complete a task. If you are called an arsehole it means that someone probably doesn't like you very much. If a Brit mutters the word ass he is likely referring to a donkey.

Buggar (bugger) is also worth noting - it's a word my husband fell in love with not long after we met. The actual meaning of buggar is often not known by the younger generation (origins in someone engaging in sodomy) and using it around the older generation may not go down too well.

It is a word used as an exclamation of surprise (as in 'oh bugger me!'), anger, frustration or to dismiss someone in a way that is slightly less mild than piss off. You may hear "he's a lucky bugger" or "he's a little bugger" meaning he has got off lightly with something and he's a little mischievous respectively. Either way, great but weird British word.

3. Weird British Sayings

Similarly the British have some great sayings that mystify the rest of the world. Take the English saying 'Bob's your uncle' as an example. Someone asks for directions so you say, "Go left, then right, around the roundabout, then right and Bob's your uncle!" It means 'there you go', or 'everything will be sorted'.

If someone tells you to 'get stuffed', they are asking you to go away, get lost or shove it somewhere the sun doesn't shine (which is another classic saying).

Lastly I want to share "it's the dog's bollocks" because quite frankly how could I not? If something is the dog's bollocks it means it is really, really good. But don't use this phrase if your mother-in-law cooks you a good meal for example - you'll make her eyes pop out or the vein on her forehead throb.

4. A Weird British Habit

One weird British habit (and I fear this may be more of an English thing than a rest of Britain thing) is not saying what we mean. You hear, "Okay, I will give it my utmost consideration" and think, "Ah good, he's going to think about it" but what he actually means is, "What a waste of bloody space and I have no intention of giving it another thought."

 

Here's another example from the brilliant Very British Problems twitter account (and there is also a wonderfully amusing book Very British Problems: Making Life Awkward for Ourselves, One Rainy Day at a Time):

It's because we are so polite and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or cause conflict.
So what is said is probably not what is meant. But don't let that put you off talking to the English!

5. Weird British Place names
There are so many there could be a book written about silly British place names but here are a few:

Shepherd's Bottom
Shitterton
Happy Bottom
Pant-y-drain
Whipper Slack
Cock Alley

6. Weird British Customs

Charming, quaint, insane - all words that could describe those weird British customs that you just won't see elsewhere. Like morris dancing, cheese rolling, welly throwing, maypole dancing, wife carrying, burning barrels and straw bears.

7. Weird British Laws

There are also many weird British laws that are still in existence today. For example, it is actually illegal to die in the House of Lords (the second chamber of the UK Parliament) and in case you are wondering you can't wear metal armour there either.

You may not herd cows along public roads between 7pm & 10am (without permission from the police commissioner) and it is illegal to be drunk in charge of cows, horses, steam engines and carriages.

And lastly, if you stick your stamp upside down you are committing treason. However, I can testify that should you accidentally on purpose stick a stamp on an envelope upside down nothing happens. You are not arrested in a police dawn raid and put in the Tower of London. Or maybe I am just an incredibly lucky buggar.

8. A Significant But Weird British Day

There is one particular weird day celebrated in England that is worth mentioning and that is the 5th of November - Guy Fawkes or 'Bonfire night' as we lovingly call it. It wasn't until I started explaining to my children the background to this very English celebration that I realised just how weird it is. We burn an effigy of a man whose plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament was foiled, set off lots of fireworks and eat sausages and burgers.

9. Other Weird British Stuff 

And one last weird thing that baffles even me. A public school in Britain is actually not public at all, it's private.

5 Ways to Encourage a Child to Write in a Second Language

My three boys are bilingual, speaking Dutch as their mother tongue and English as their second language. It struck me recently that even though we talk and read in English at home every day my eldest hardly gets any writing practice in his second language. So I'm making an all out concerted effort to change that and I have been thinking of ways that he'll find interesting to encourage him to pick up a pen to write in English.

6 Reasons I'm Happy I'm Raising Children in the Netherlands

I live in a country where children generally fare well in happiness surveys and Dutch children always rate much higher in the happiness stakes than British children ever do.

It's no coincidence that the Dutch shine through in reports such as the UN's World Happiness Report. From what I see around me, the Dutch work consciously to raise happy, healthy, independent children* and I consider myself lucky to be raising three children here.

So, for the record, here are my six reasons why I'm happy I'm raising my children in the Netherlands.

1. School Allows Children to be Children

Dutch children are allowed to concentrate on what they do best: they are given plenty of time for the important job of play. Even though the majority of Dutch children start school at the age of 4 (though not mandatory until age 5) the theme running through their days remains 'play'. They learn through play (spelenderwijs leren) and only when they start in group 3 (when they are 6 or 7) is there any pressure on them to formally start reading and writing. The foundation is laid in the earlier school years whilst there are no expectations of them. By the time they reach group 3 most children have learnt the basics of reading and writing in a playful, 'no pressure' manner.

My experience is that the focus in groups 1 and 2 of our little Dutch school is to help children work self sufficiently, to raise their social awareness, learn how to co-operate in a group, to look after and out for each other. These are the years that my children learn that there are rules and boundaries outside of their home too, in a classroom. But they learn this in a safe, respectful, playful way. 

My four year old has day and week tasks that consist of things like finger painting an autumn tree and building a hut with blocks. He proudly tells me how hard he has worked, how he has completed his week tasks and yet, in reality, he has spent the week creating and playing. Oh, and learning. 

Their future is not mapped out by the age of four.

My children will only start getting homework when they move to group 6. Yes, my eldest is asked to practice his times tables at home, and in group 1 and 2 he took bear home and (mama) had to write about what bear had done over the weekend, but hours of maths and language homework after school? No, not until he is nine or ten, and even then it is given in moderation. 

This gives my children time to do what they do best; they come home from school and play. Which brings me nicely to my second reason. 

2. An Outdoor Culture

The Dutch are outdoor people. And so are their children. If they are not cycling they are on steps, skateboards or roller skates. In winter they are on sledges or ice skates.

Children are encouraged to play on the streets in residential areas (where traffic signs indicate children are at play and the speed limit is severely reduced).

My children love being outdoors, love being active in all sorts of weather. It reminds me of my own childhood in Britain in the 1980s, when we entertained ourselves out on the street with nothing but our imaginations, or perhaps a ball and our bikes.

3. Child Friendly Society

We don't have to walk far in our neighborhood to stumble over yet another children's playground or park. They are all small scale but varied and numerous. If we really wanted to, we could visit a different playground on foot each day of the week. Neighbourhoods are designed with children in mind.

Similarly, many restaurants are child friendly and the amount of amusement parks, animal parks and children's attractions across the Netherlands is just staggering for such a small country. There's more than enough to entertain children of all ages.

4. A Sense of Community

Like many playgrounds, Dutch primary schools are also small scale, but numerous, and children usually attend a school close to home. School catchment areas are generally quite small (but not fixed - if you want to send your child to a school further away you may).

This means that school runs are generally done on foot or by bike, and when primary school children are older it gives them a sense of independence that children don't feel being ferried to school in big cars, the type you see clogging up the roads around the schools in England.

I like that the Dutch tend to keep things local. My children go to school with children they live near. After school children play together in the local playgrounds with their classmates. It gives a sense of community. Work together, play together.

5. Dutch State

The importance of family filters down from the politicians. There are various state benefits for families with children: subsidies for child care as well as child benefit payments. State education is free. The Dutch youth care system is wide and varying - and in most cases the services are free.

It starts from birth with help from kraamzorg and continues with visits to the consultatiebureau, which, love it or hate it, is undeniably a unique service for parents. The system may not be perfect, but whenever I have needed a helping hand as a parent I've had welcome support. Even though I am an expat with a small family support network, I feel like I have people to lean on if I need it, because of the Dutch youth system.

This could easily be the motto of the Dutch when it comes to raising children

6. Work Life Balance

Last but absolutely not least, the focus on striking a balance between working and family life is extensive. Putting the emphasis on family life is ingrained in Dutch society.

More than a fair share of the working population works part-time, predominantly women, all with the aim of being around for their children and working around school hours. Again, love it or loathe it it is how it is. I happen to love it.

Parents, whatever their situation, need to find a work and family balance that works for them and the Dutch attitude and family culture means that parents have options.

Children have parents that, in general, have the opportunities and time to be present and involved.

It's Not Hagelslag, It's Attitude

So, my belief is that the happiness of Dutch children has nothing to do with hagelslag (sprinkles) on bread for breakfast as others have lightheartedly suggested, rather it stems from an attitude, a deep ingrained culture that focuses on children and allows them to make the most of childhood.

Dutch parents around me don't put pressure on their children to grow up fast. Instead, they give them permission to be children for as long as possible and not worry about their future at a young age. I recently read a few articles about American parents pressuring their children to excel in many fields from a young age, both in and out of school, children that have an after school activity schedule that would make most Dutch children's eyes water.

It's true that the Dutch have a reputation for being liberal, a bit too liberal on some matters in some culture's eyes, but what I see is an openness and a manner of carefully considered parenting that seems to work, which seems to foster independent children that feel listened to, that feel valued. Ones that are keen to tell researchers who care to ask that they are happy with their lot.

So, I for one intend to keep watching the parenting examples around me, and dish out good doses of Dutch parenting to my three sons. Hopefully, one day, when a UN researcher asks them questions for her World Happiness Report they'll be as positive in their answers as the children that have gone before them.

What do you think makes Dutch children fare so well in happiness studies?Does the parenting culture in your host country differ widely to that in your birth country? Is the local parenting culture where you live something you aspire to?

*It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, that Dutch society has it's share of problems, and that includes the lives of some children too. Some Dutch children live in poverty, some Dutch children live with absent parents, some Dutch children are deeply unhappy. I am in no way suggesting with this post that all Dutch children are ecstatically happy. However, there is a general culture related to parenting that I see every day around me. And that is the essence of this post.*