Our British Dutch Christmas

This time of year is oozing with nostalgia, with childhood memories and traditions. However, I am an expat and recreating my childhood Christmases is easier said than done when you no longer live in the same country as the one you grew up in. Passing on the traditions that made up my festive days as a small girl to my three little Dutch boys needs a little more thought than it would if we were all living in England.

Take nativity plays for example. The annual battle over who would get to play Mary and Joseph. The work behind the scenes to create the perfect outfit to be one of the many angels or shepherds on stage. All engraved in my memory. There are lovely little photos of my brother and me in our nativity plays. But there are no nativity plays here in the Netherlands. At least not at any of the schools I know about. On the one hand, thank goodness - I cannot even begin to imagine getting three costumes sorted in a period that is already the very definition of madness, however, how sweet it would be to see my three sons on stage being a part of a nativity play.

Aside from nativity plays, Christmas carol concerts are also missing from our Dutch Christmases. As a child the whole school headed over to the church to sing Christmas carols. Some parents attended and it was the sign that Christmas was nearly here. Don't get me wrong, there are carol concerts (certainly not extremely common) but they are not related to my children's school.

Instead my two eldest boys have a Christmas dinner in school. They put on a shirt and tie and do their hair (Dutch style with gel....). Their classrooms are turned into magical twinkling spaces with candles and Christmas lights and desks become tables decked with colour and self made placemats. We parents provide a menu of hapjes that has been put together by the children themselves. At the end of their meal they sing a song for us. They have a lovely evening, and it has become a custom of their Christmas. My youngest has a Christmas breakfast at the peuterspeelzaal - his first one this year.

However, the food, putting a stocking out on Christmas Eve for Father Christmas to fill, the delivery of presents under the tree to be found on Christmas morning - that's all the traditions of my childhood, being passed on to my children.

Over the years I have been in the Netherlands, putting together a traditional British Christmas dinner has got easier. In years gone by the only way to recreate the Christmas meals of my youth was by visiting expat shops. These days Albert Heijn sells large turkeys, special to order at this time of year, parsnips have become more readily available and even cranberries are an accepted part of the festive period. However, I still need my beloved expat shop for Christmas pudding, brandy butter, mincemeat to make mince pies and proper, full size Christmas crackers, crap joke, paper hat and all.

There are compromises, and adaptations when it comes to Christmas and our mixed culture home. Our Christmas Day looks different to what is going on behind closed doors in the Dutch streets around us. And that is exactly what makes our Christmas so special - we have taken what is important to us and made it our own. It's our very own British Dutch Christmas.

Do you try to recreate the Christmases from your childhood? Are you passing on Christmas traditions to your children? Or does your Christmas look completely different these days because of where you are living?

Perfect Gifts to Capture Your Expat Stories

Sometimes you find a product you love so much you need to shout about it - and that's why I'm putting Gadanke journals in the spotlight. It's that time of the year when we're all looking for those perfect Christmas gifts and Gadanke products are very special indeed. Gadanke is an award winning handmade journal shop using eco-friendly materials. That's it in a nutshell, but there's oh so much more.

The Story Behind Gadanke

The story of how Gadanke came about is wonderful, the idea behind the journals is heart tingling and the journals themselves are awesome.

The Expat Bit

Katie Clemons is the face behind Gadanke, (which comes from the German word for idea or thought). Whilst living in Berlin with her German husband she crafted her first journal.

And here's another awesome bit: Katie now lives in a converted airplane hangar in the Rocky Mountains in the US, having just moved out of a tire house. You can follow the couple's creation of and move into their dream home via Katie's Making This Home blog.

But what I like best of all is that Katie's journals are more than pieces of paper strung together so that she can make a living. To Katie, it's much, much more and that is so evident in the pieces she handcrafts. She doesn't just make and sell journals, she prompts journal owners to celebrate their story, to get memories down on paper, to record the past for the future. In her own words,

"I believe story is power. It enriches our lives, challenges us to dream bigger, and strengthens future generations."

Katie has a Facebook page where she regularly poses questions that often make me stop what I am doing to cast my mind back. Here's an example:

"You and I are 10 years old. It snowed 12", and now we've got the whole day to play. What should we do?"

Where do you go when you think about the answer to that question? I was instantly taken back to my childhood days with my younger brother wrapped up in winter coats, woolly hats, scarves and gloves, playing in the garden trying to make a snowman. We'd beg and forage for all the bits we could use for the snowman's eyes, nose, arms...... I hadn't been to that place for a long time! It was so great to pause and rewind to the past.

Gadanke Journals

Gadanke journals are made predominantly from recycled papers and contain not only writing prompts but embellishments such as tags, little envelopes or library cards, stickers or carnival tickets. The themed journals make the perfect gift for expats.


Take the "Love where we Live" journal. Many expats move from place to place and this journal helps expats capture the essence of the place they call home. Not just bricks and mortar but what makes the town you live in tick? How does it smell? What happens there? What does the room you play in look like? Capture it. Record it. Celebrate it. When your expat adventures are over you'll have a collection of stories and memories to treasure and share with your children and their children.

What Expat Stories Have you got to Share?

Stories about expat life cry out to be captured, as Katie so wonderfully sums up,

"As expats, we're venturing into this all-new territory. Even the simplest things like grabbing a few towels at the store becomes a challenge because first you have to figure out which store sells towels! You can have the funniest experiences as well as the most frustrating. I still remember my classmates in language class pronouncing my name "Kevin"! But how much of these stories would you and I remember if we didn't pause to document them? I think that it's so important for an expat to journal. Trust me. It helps you work through your experiences. It helps you celebrate them! So many former expats have told me, "I wish I'd written that down. I wish I could remember how I felt and what it was like."

Your story matters. This adventure you're navigating through matters."

And I couldn't agree more.

I haven't even gotten round to mentioning the baby and wedding journals, kids' journals and the journal to help you find direction, to capture your travel adventures, the mother and son or daughter journals, to record recipes.... phew, you know what there are so many more why don't you head over to Gadanke and check it out for yourself.

Links to Gadanke are affiliate links.*

The Tales That Bind A Family

I was at the funeral of my great aunt and, like most farewells of this form I guess, there was a melancholy air about us. As a contrast to that feeling it was heartwarming to hear the many stories about my great aunt from my dad and his brothers and sisters.

Over breakfast on the morning of the funeral my stepmother threw out the question,

"What is your earliest memory of your aunt?"

Photo Credit: Krzysztof (Kriss) Szkurlatowski

Mine was of her wedding day. I was a young child. I remembered a far happier day than the one we were gathering for that day. My dad's earliest memory was sitting with his aunt and some of his brothers in front of the 'wireless', an old radio. He recalled that she was their regular babysitter. A wonderful storytelling babysitter, enchanting and reeling them in with fantasy tales, captivating her nephews with stories of rich relatives in far off lands.

During the funeral service the priest shared his recollections of his first meeting with my great aunt, and how she ensured he was whipped into shape for his role as her parish priest. She played a huge role in the parish, despite being less than healthy for as long as I can remember.

After the service, in a local hotel, there was a board full of photos. Photos taken of her happy life. A life I realised I knew very little about. Smiling faces, people wrapped in loving arms in various locations, undertaking various activities. Happy days, happy years filled with family, fun and adventures.

In a few short hours I learned more about my great aunt than I'd heard in the forty years before. Funerals do that to people - bring back memories of happier times gone by, memories of the essence of a person. I also got to hear the story of how my grandparents met. A wonderful, simple meeting that was to lead to a marriage that has lasted 63 years and which is still going strong.

These stories, none of them earth moving or spectacular in the face of mankind's achievements, not world changing by any means except to those playing the starring roles, made me smile. I'm going to write them down and share them in years to come with my sons, so they know where they have come from. These beautiful little tales are the stories of how we came to be; how one generation turned into another. These stories give us our roots, give us a sense of our family history. They pass our culture and traditions on from generation to generation. They need to be cherished, to be shared with the next generation, to be remembered.

Our memories, the memories of our parents and our grandparents, are tied together. Bound together they make up a picture for our children of the family they belong to.  And I feel that having children born in a country different to the one I was born in, living away from their extended family, makes these stories all the more important. These stories connect our cultures. They connect family history to our family now.

These stories connect us, even when we live our life away from the rest of our family, even when we are expats.

So ask to hear these wonderful tales now; don't wait to hear them in a somber moment when everyone is reflecting on what was. Ask to hear those stories in happy times, direct from the horse's mouth. And capture them for your children, and the generations beyond.

Today's the Day for My Annual British Pancake

Today is pancake day, or Shrove Tuesday if you want to get technical. Growing up in Britain this was the only day of the year we really ate pancakes. And then as pudding, not as our main meal. It was a festive affair, and something to get excited about.

Every year, on this Tuesday we would sit in the kitchen watching my mum mix up a large batch of pancake batter and then ladle it into the hot pan. She'd quickly swirl the pan around so the batter entirely covered the bottom of the pan, and we'd watch the pancakes take form.

When one side was done, she'd toss them into the air. Occasionally they landed on the floor, but most of the time the pancakes ended safely back in the pan. As we got older we were allowed to try our hand at tossing pancakes, invariable ending in disaster. Then we'd be waiting on the sidelines ready for our mum to slide a pancake out of the pan onto the plates in our outstretched hands.

On the dining table there'd be white sugar and Jif lemon waiting for us. The pancake was only ready to eat once we'd sprinkled sugar over it, lashed it with drops of lemon juice and then rolled it up.

The origins of pancake day lie in getting rid of foodstuff to prepare for Lent. It's Fat Tuesday, mardi gras or carnival time, depending on where you live. For us as young children pancake day was the day before we gave something up for Lent. As we got older this stopped, and it just became a wonderful family tradition.

Essential ingredient for my annual British pancake
Photo Credit: Adam Eret

When I moved to the Netherlands I discovered that the Dutch are pancake crazy, but the pancakes here are not the same as my annual pancakes growing up. Dutch pancakes are much thicker, and the Dutch have dreamt up just about every feasible and unlikely topping you could imagine for a pancake. Delicious but nothing nostalgic about them. 

Pancakes are no longer a once-a-year affair for this expat Brit and pancake day will certainly not hold the same lure for my children as it did for my brother and me - I guess when you live in a country where it's acceptable to have pancake day any old day of the week an annual pancake feast will never have quite the same appeal.

In any case Happy Pancake Day - and if you fancy doing it British style today head over to Smitten by Britain for a pancake recipe. 

Making December Memories

During December our family does a daily advent activity. This year we made envelopes from scratch and then decorated them with all things Christmassy and I added a chocolate coin and a card with a fun activity to do on it. 

Every day the children take it in turns to open an envelope. Every day we do something to connect as a family. This evening is Christmas movie night with special treats to eat. On Christmas Eve there will be a box for the boys to unwrap filled with things to keep us busy that evening - a DVD, new pjs and hot chocolate and popcorn. 

We've been to a Christmas market, walked the streets with homemade lamps, donated food for special Christmas packages to help less fortunate families, coloured Christmas pictures in, made a special gift for opa, decorated the Christmas tree. A Christmas family tradition in the making, and lots of memories to cherish when the kids are all grown up. 

We included the Dutch Pakjesavond celebration in the advent activities

One night we sat out in the garden, with the burner going, sipping Gluhwein
(us, not the kids) and eating Christmas biscuits

One night was Christmas story night - the room lit only by candlelight

We decorated the Christmas tree, and made lamps for a night time walk

Do you have a special way of counting down to Christmas? How do you celebrate this wonderful month with your children?

*I regularly share photos and updates on the Expat Life with a Double Buggy Facebook page so if you are on Facebook pop over and like the page and stop by and say hi!*

My 365 Grateful Project #4 to #7

#5 Whilst I don't have a photo to share of my grateful moment for Wednesday this week, the moment is a memorable one. We went to the Circus Theatre in Schevenigen to see the Bob the Builder show and I was lost in the moment watching my two year old dance and clap with complete abandonment to the theme tune of Bob. Oh, for the days of carefree boogying whenever the mood takes.

We had another family photo session with Vinita Salomé. this week - and the session was so much fun! I already banked some special moments from the morning with her - it was a great opportunity to stop everything and cherish what a beautiful little family I have. Gratitude at it's most obvious.

My eldest son made up a game for him and his brother to play using Duplo, dice and two counters. It was spontaneous, self-driven and extremely imaginative and creative. Long may it continue!

Filling Our Family Memory Treasure Trove

One of my favourite quotes
Photo Credit: Gretchen Rubin
The Happiness Project

I've just booked a family photo session with Vinita Salomé. It's our second appointment with her and we'd really like to make an annual thing of a family photo session because whilst some days seem incredibly long looking after three young boys I'm very aware of how fast the years are flying by.

Fun was the key word of our first session with
Vinita!
Photo Credit: Vinita Salome

It's striking that we have thousands and thousands of family photos but the one thing that is notable looking through is how few we have of all five of us.  Take a look back at your family photo collection - how many photos do you have with all of you on there? A professional photographer capturing the five of us together at least one time a year is us "indulging in a (not so) modest splurge" (see Gretchin Ruben's The Happiness Project for more on this idea) to add something really special to our treasure trove of family memories.

We met Vinita for the first time last summer early on a clear, beautiful, sunny summer Sunday morning in an unforgettable setting: the Binnenhof in The Hague. The Dutch parliament square is usually bustling with tourists, media and politicians whenever it is featured on the TV news. It's been a hive of activity whenever I have been there in the past. This particular morning it was a deserted terrain. We had the Binnenhof to ourselves for at least the first half of the photo session. And our two eldest boys (then 2 and 5) revelled in the space and freedom to run around and play, chasing each other through arch ways and up and down stairs. Their energy was contagious and heart-warming. How funny to think they were having such fun just meters away from the political heart of the Netherlands!

Ending the session on an even higher note!
Photo Credit: Vinita Salome

As the minutes went by the Binnenhof began to fill up with people; police officers on horseback, the familiar face of the regular ice cream vendor and of course snap happy tourists from far off lands. So to round the session off we treated the boys to an ice cream and they were let loose with dripping, creamy covered cones.

Not only did Vinita capture precious moments with her camera but the six of us had a fabulous time. It was playful and relaxed - and that shows on every photo. We not only have prints and a CD of many wonderful pictures of my family, but we also have the memories of excited, carefree children running to their heart's content in a place they usually wouldn't be able to explore so freely.

The image of my two year old careering around a corner laughing uncontrollably to himself is ingrained in my memory bank. Peals of laughter filled the Binnenhof for ninety minutes - nice to think of such happy sounds replacing the usual political rumblings and grumblings that take place in that particular square.....

So, this year's session will take place in September so that gives us enough time to come up with another magical place.


You can see many more photos from our session on Vinita's photo blog.

Do you have any tips for our next location? Where have you had family photos taken? Do you think a family photo session with a professional photographer is worth the investment?