Algemeen Dagblad Interview: Expats in Zoetermeer

Yesterday's edition of The Hague's Algemeen Dagblad featured an article about the growing number of expats in Zoetermeer. I was contacted on Thursday to ask if I would answer a few questions on the topic. One thing led to another and on Friday a photographer came around to take a picture. The photo session involved Colman's mustard, Marmite, English tea, a copy of Dutched Up!: Rocking the Clogs Expat Style, British teaspoons, a blanket adorned with the British flag and a plastic British. It was mind blowingly weird. 

This was the result.......

Watch this space for more on this!

Rembrandt and Kiki - The New Kids on the Block

Rembrandt and Kiki are red-headed twins who are moving to the Netherlands. Their mother is Dutch and their father is English so they both speak two languages. These bilingual twins are mischievous and love a good adventure. I have a feeling my sons will be getting to know Kiki and Rembrandt quite well. Oh, and these 'new in town' twins are completely fictitious.

They are the brainchild of British expat Jane Archer-Wilms and Dutch national Marlies Veenhof who have colluded to create a series of books aimed at helping children improve their Dutch and/or English language skills. I caught up with them to ask them about the book series, their future plans and life before Rembrandt and Kiki.

Jane Archer-Wilms & Marlies Veenhof

Firstly, I wanted to know how they met. It turns out, like so many blossoming friendships, the two women met on a school playground, not as childhood friends but as mothers. They explain further,

"Our children go to the same Dutch primary school and we were both pregnant with our third child at the same time.... playground chat turned to regular meeting up and the friendship grew from there."

The next logical step was to write a series of books together. Right? Well, not quite but the idea was born from the desire to balance motherhood with work they could do around their children. Jane had recently stopped working at the British school in the Netherlands and Marlies was working one day a week as a primary school teacher to be able to focus more on their expanding families. Both women admit they found the idea of full time motherhood daunting and wanted a happy medium between parenting and putting the skills they had gained from years as teachers to good use. One afternoon, whilst at a children's playground, the idea of creating a bilingual book came to life.

And what do they hope to achieve with their bilingual books? Well, that's easy. Jane explains,

"World-wide fame and a seven figure salary..... Or we would settle for knowing that we have created something that children love but that also serves a purpose."

And where do the names Rembrandt and Kiki from? I naturally assumed Marlies had a hand in the choosing of the name Rembrandt but I couldn't have been more wrong. Whilst Marlies chose the name Kiki, a character that incidentally reminds her of herself as a child, Rembrandt turns out to be Jane's choice of name. It is not only a typically Dutch name, but one that Jane loves, so much so that she had the name on the list of potential names for her own sons. Her husband vetoed it but she's happy she got to name at least one boy Rembrandt in the end.

Choosing names for the book's main characters was not only the fun they had whilst creating the books. Marlies elaborates,

"For us, writing the books is the most fun. Trying to think how children think, and what they would find funny is fantastic. The translations can take weeks, as we want to stay true to both languages without compromising the story-line. It is also so exciting to see the illustrations when Sarah (Wills, illustrator) sends them through – it all comes so much to life then."

And for all budding children's book authors out there, Jane and Marlies reveal exclusively here on this blog the secret to finding a brilliant, quirky illustrator that matches perfectly with the ideas you had for your characters and their adventures,

"We were very cutting-edge in our illustrator-seeking strategy..... we used Google! Sarah is a professional children’s illustrator from Cornwall in England, and we loved her website and quirky drawing style. We approached her with our ideas for Rembrandt and Kiki, and after she sent us a few sketches, we knew we had found our illustrator."

Whilst the humour in the Rembrandt and Kiki books is aimed at children aged from four to eight, Jane states that the books are also useful for children of other ages.

"They can be read to younger children, and older children learning Dutch or English for the first time will find them accessible too. The children don’t need to be able to read; if the parents are not bilingual, they can use the free audiobooks on the website (in Dutch and English)," she says.

The books have not only been created with both English speakers and Dutch children in mind, but their parents too, as Jane further explains.

"We have really tried to make the books as user-friendly as possible, in the sense that parents can read the story fully in English, fully in Dutch, in both languages page by page, or the children can listen to all the above combinations on the free audio book. The children can, if they cannot yet read, look at the pictures and find the Dutch and British flags hidden on each page. Each book has a theme to which the children can relate, and there is a vocabulary list at the back of the book which corresponds with highlighted (and often repeated) words throughout the story. In this way, parents can also use the books to develop their child’s vocabulary in the second language."

She goes on to explain that the series they are creating works in a number of ways,

"It’s a fantastic resource for English-speaking children living in The Netherlands. It works just as effectively though for Dutch children living abroad or Dutch children in The Netherlands; it stimulates the use of a second language, be it Dutch or English. The other group we have targeted is primary schools – both Dutch and international. There is a complete scheme of work available to accompany the books, so it’s a great resource for the teaching of English or Dutch in primary schools".

Marlies, with her primary school teacher hat on, recognised that many primary school teachers felt unprepared for the introduction of teaching English to groups 1 and 2 (four to six year olds) so this series is also a means to give teachers a fun and stimulating resource to teach the younger age groups. It's an age group that both Jane and Marlies consider to be important when it comes to learning a second language.

"We think introducing a second language in the early years of school is a fantastic idea, so long as it is achievable and enjoyable for the children. We think it’s a real gift to be given the chance to learn a second language from an early age. The earlier that a child is exposed to a second language, the easier and quicker that language is to learn (as are any subsequent languages). Of course many English-speaking families in The Netherlands are here for a limited time, and we understand completely that Dutch can be a hideous language to try and pick up, particularly if you have no Dutch connections and are not here for very long. Rembrandt & Kiki is an easy and fun way of introducing and maintaining the Dutch language. It is also perhaps lovely to keep as a memento from the country in which you have lived."

And they practice what they preach too. Jane has lived in the Netherlands since 2002, and speaks Dutch (stating that it gets even better after a few glasses of wine, at least to her own ears) and her three sons are bilingual too. She also has big plans to turn Marlies' children into bilinguals, though Marlies herself needs no help with her English having taught it as a foreign language to students in North East Thailand, as well as teaching basic language skills to children in orphanages in the evenings.

And what of the future? I asked Jane and Marlies where they plan to take Rembrandt and Kiki and it turns out they have visions of European travel for the bilingual twins.

"We have big plans! We are writing an initial series of five books (plus five schemes of work for primary schools), each covering a different theme and adventure for Rembrandt and Kiki. The first one that is available to buy now is Rembrandt & Kiki Move to The Netherlands. The second one coming out in November is Rembrandt & Kiki in the Museum, the third one is at the farm and so on. We hope to write lots more books after this initial series – covering themes such as Sinterklaas, the seasons, holidays and so on. Our big plan, however, is to translate the Rembrandt & Kiki series into other languages, to be used in exactly the same way – to further a second language in other countries as well as The Netherlands. English will always be the base language, but given time, we hope to see Rembrandt and Kiki in German, Danish and Spanish, to name but a few!"

In the short term, I asked them to fast forward a year. What achievement would have them popping champagne bottles in celebration?

"We will be 10kg lighter.... oh you mean with the books? We will hopefully have the first series of five books available in paperback and hardback, along with schemes of work, and we’ll be busy writing the next series. The books will stand proudly on our bookshelves and when asked what we do, we’ll say without hesitation that we are authors of children’s books."

Both deserving of the title "Author". For sure.

I don't think there is any doubt that they may already call themselves authors of children's books. Wouldn't you agree?

June 2016 Update: There are now 6 titles to choose from in the Rembrandt and Kiki series!

An Interview with Expat Mama's

I was very honoured to be asked recently to do an interview for the Dutch site Expat Mama's. It's an expat website that shares the stories of Dutch mothers who have left the Netherlands. But, every now and then there is also the story of an expat mama who, instead of leaving Dutch shores, landed in the Netherlands to make a new life. That's where I come in.

The interview is in Dutch, (so good practice for those of you learning the local language) and you can read it at Expat Mama's. What do you think?

Sharing Our Roots - an interview with Suzanne

In the fourth post of this Sharing Our Roots series, Dutch mother Suzanne shares her viewpoint on raising culturally aware children whilst living in Britain.

Making friends the English way - school
uniform and all!
(c) Suzanne

Suzanne was born in the Netherlands but now lives in London in England with her husband and two daughters who are two and four (or as her eldest prefers "four and three quarters"). Suzanne's daughters were born in Britain and hold British passports but not Dutch ones. Suzanne explains why,

"The sole reason is the inconvenience of legalizing their British birth certificates, which is a requirement of the Dutch embassy. The passport of my eldest will expire soon and I’m thinking of taking advantage of the situation to get both girls a Dutch passport as well as extending their British ones. As we have different surnames and nationalities I always get questions at the border and am asked to show their birth certificates when my husband isn’t travelling with us, which is most of the time."

Thinking to the future, Suzanne also sees another advantage of obtaining dual nationality for her daughters, but also considers the practicalities of the unthinkable,

"I can also imagine it being easier for them to move to the Netherlands with Dutch passports if we or they should ever want or need to. For example, their legal guardians (should my husband and I both die) are in the Netherlands. I can imagine a few legal hurdles would need to be overcome before they’d be allowed to leave the UK in such a case."

Asked whether she thinks it is important for her children to know about the country she herself was born in Suzanne replies,

"I don’t dwell on it, I don’t even consider myself an expat - I’m just Dutch and happen to live in the UK. I do think it’s great for kids living in a “dominant” culture (like the UK or North America) to have a true appreciation of the differences between the country they’re growing up in and the other country they’re culturally linked to (or countries, as my London-born husband’s parents are Italian). It also helps them relate to their cousins who are huge role models for them."

So how do you share Dutch culture with your children whilst living in London? Suzanne teaches her

Getting used to Father Christmas, even though
Sinterklaas still visits Dutch children living
abroad!
(c) Suzanne

children about the Dutch holidays and communicates with them in Dutch. Whilst she is working the family has a Dutch nanny who keeps the Dutch language in use in the family home. Suzanne says,

"Between us we read stories, sing songs and show videos that provide context around Sinterklaas, koninginnedag and day-to-day traditions such as hagelslag (chocolate sprinkles), cycling, street play, the absence of school uniforms and so on. Our nanny is a lot younger than I am and can share more of what the current generation experiences."

The children soaking in the Dutch culture
during a visit to Leiden
(c) Suzanne

The family also visits the Netherlands around three times a year which is hugely beneficial for the language skills of her children as Suzanne explains,

"Whenever we visit my family in the Netherlands they get a full 4-5 day language and culture immersion resulting in a huge improvement of their spoken Dutch."

Suzanne relays that she doesn't seek out the Dutch community locally or attend Dutch related events. Instead she makes optimal use of the internet and brings back Dutch books from their trips to the Netherlands.

"We also call the grandparents a lot and sing at least one Dutch song at bedtime each night," she says.

The only real issue that Suzanne relates to bringing up children in a country she was not born in revolves around language although she does notice a potential culture difference in parenting styles,

"My husband doesn’t speak Dutch so I find it hard to speak Dutch consistently. Besides this I cannot think of any negatives. I’m completely at home here and don’t have issues with not being able to relate to how they experience childhood. I do find kids a bit self-entitled and spoiled here and feel I’m always the tougher parent (“no, you can’t have a biscuit the second you walk out of the school gates even though all the other kids can”) but that may be a trend of the time rather than the place."

Whilst bringing up bilingual children can throw up challenges for parents, Suzanne has a gem of advice for other parents when the going gets tough,

"If you do want to teach your kids your language, stick to it. Don’t worry about them getting behind in the other language. They will catch up very quickly and will be forever grateful for being bilingual."

Sharing Our Roots - an interview with Britt Breu

In the third post of this series American expat Britt Breu shares her views on passing on her birth country culture with her children. Britt currently lives in South Africa with her German born husband and her two children who in turn were born in England and Germany.

Photo Credit: Stephen J. Sullivan

Both of Britt's children have dual nationality (American and German) and it was a decision that the couple took to open up the world to their children.

"Initially it was important to me that both have the choice of where to later study and live. Now, I believe it will enable them to. move more freely about the globe," says Britt.

Britt not only believes that her children should know about the countries she and their father were born in, but also any country they call home along the way even if it is temporarily. Britt explains why,

"I believe it is important for my kids to know about where they were born, where they currently live and the counties of which they are citizens. All of these things influence who they are and are a part of their heritage in my eyes, even if we are or were only guests. It will allow them to be more flexible and allow for greater tolerance of others later down the road."

Like Charlie and Vinita, Britt uses media extensively to share American culture with her children. She reads American books to them and plays children's music from the States with them. She also makes sure to talk about topical events with them. She explains further,

"I talk about American current events that a three year old can relate to and understand - not how the Democrats took the Senate but weather phenomena like Sandy,  and about seasons (since we are now in another hemisphere) and American holidays. I will definitely talk about politics and history when both are a bit older, as well as show them my absentee ballots when voting".

Family back in America and Germany also play an important role in sharing the culture of those countries with Britt's children. Through Skype the children hear about every day life in the USA and Germany. In fact, Britt states that she relies heavily on technology to share information with her children about the countries they have a link to.

"For us, YouTube, resources online and Skype are essential parenting tools. I don't think I could do it otherwise."

However, local groups and resources also prove to be a valuable in keeping German culture at the heart of their family,

"I enrolled my daughter in a German language nursery school and have taken both my kids to German mum and baby groups."

Traditions and holidays are also marked to help share important cultural origins. Britt tells,

 "I incorporate what I understand to be our national traditions with those of my husband's alongside those of our host country's - things like roasting a turkey for Thanksgiving. Last year I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the computer with my daughter since that was something we always looked forward to as kids. That is when we knew Christmas was coming."

Like the other parents interviewed for this series, Britt agrees there is little that can beat regular trips back to a country to immerse your children in the culture of a land. Britt however also notes that it is essential in her eyes for the family to get involved with the culture and citizens of the country they are living in.

Photo credit: Leigh-Anne Auerswald

But it is not always easy. The challenges of keeping the American and German cultures alive whilst living in South Arica certainly keeps Britt on her toes.

"I face three major challenges bringing up my kids here in South Africa:

1. Lack of family close by. I think every expat mum can relate here. 
2. Trying to encourage the use of the German language and promote German culture while trying to reinforce Americanisms is hard when another form of your mother tongue is spoken all around you and your kids start becoming and speaking more like your guest countrymen than you. 
3. The safety issue. Everywhere else we have lived, we have been able to live so carelessly and not be conscious of our safety at all times. It has been especially daunting at the beginning of our stay here."

Bringing up bilingual children is an issue that many expats face and Britt is no exception but it is not a challenge she shies away from.

Britt says, "now that we are here in RSA and were in Manchester 3 years ago, raising the kids to speak English has been easy.  When we lived in Germany, I  spoke English to the kids and showed them American TV shows for kids. Eva spoke better English than German whilst we were living in the UK and then the other way round when we left Germany for Cape Town. Now I have to encourage German through TV, online media, books and the pre-primary. I am doing this because I believe bilingualism or multilingualism, or better yet, multiculturalism is the best gift you can give your children."

Sharing Our Roots - an Interview with Vinita Salome

If you don't already know Vinita Salome, let me introduce you. Vinita is a photographer. Well, actually she's not just any photographer. She's an exceptional talent behind a camera lens. She specialises in capturing the essence of families and children and creates atmospheric memories to treasure. I should know because I have a host of such pictures hanging on my wall.

Vinita is an expat here in the Netherlands with an interesting background. She was born and raised in Japan and went  back to her roots when she moved to India aged seventeen.

She now lives in the Dutch city of Gouda, where her son was born six years ago. Her son has Dutch and Indian nationality and Vinita thinks it is important that he grows up with an understanding of the countries she grew up and lived in. Vinita explains why,

"We have family in both India and Japan. My brother lives in Japan and is married to a Japanese lady and together they have a daughter. My mother lives in India."

Vinita learnt how to share the culture and traditions of the country she was born in and the country of her family roots by turning back to her own childhood and remembering how her parents shared her roots with her,

"My mother cooked delicious Indian food, we spoke Sindhi (one of the Indian languages) and English at home, and learnt Japanese when we lived there.  We were part of an Indian club where festivals were celebrated and children took part in the celebrations. We had Indian neighbours. We visited India almost every summer and met our extended family."

So Vinita is well prepared to teach her son about Japan and India. She too shares her culture and past with her son through food and language.

"I cook a mix of Asian foods, leaning towards Japanese street food. I cook mostly stir fried food and buy a lot of Japanese ingredients from the Asian supermarkets. I only cook Indian friends visit although I love to eat it. I speak to my son in Japanese when Japanese friends are around, and when I have my Indian friends here we speak together in English. In India, through prefixes, it is easy to identify who is who in the family. For example, Nani is mother’s mother and Masi is Mother’s sister and so on. Explaining these prefixes also makes him aware of things that are done differently.

On my last trip to India, I bought several comic books and dvd’s featuring many Indian mythological figures. He watches these, is curious to know more and asks questions about them. And when he is in India, or if he happens to see a Ganesh in someone’s house, he points it out to me.

We also listen to old Japanese folk tale CD’s in the car which has proved to be quite a hit with him.
He watches Japanese stuff only when he is with Japanese people, so in this way I try to build in some consistency and separation so that his mind isn’t flooded."

Vinita also highlights that communication with her family in Japan and India is an incredibly valuable tool to show her son how her life was in the countries she grew up in.

"Skype really works for communicating with my brother and his family. It’s just lovely to see how my niece and my son communicate and exchange notes. Japan also celebrates many traditions based on the seasons and when we chat we share these traditions and share so much about our different lives," she tells.

Of course, modern day technology makes it much easier for expats to keep in touch with family than in years gone by but at the end of the day nothing compares to actually visiting a country to taste the cuisine, witness the traditions in action, absorb the culture and understand what life there is like. Vinita knows this all too well and tries to visit family as much as she can.

But sharing your childhood life with your own children is not always easy. Vinita explains one problem they faced the last time they took a trip to India,

"Since I mainly cook Asian/Japanese meals at home, it was difficult to find food that my son could enjoy. We managed to introduce him to new tastes, but since I myself lean towards the Japanese cuisine, I see that the Indian cuisine gets left behind and he starts wanting food that he is used to eating like pasta and pancakes."

Sharing her childhood languages with her son is also an area Vinita has to work hard at.

"I find that I have to be consistent in all aspects of sharing my culture and traditions, but especially where language is concerned. Since my son doesn’t have an equal amount of vocabulary in English or Japanese, it’s easy to slip into Dutch while speaking to me. I notice that I’m the one who needs to keep at it."

Despite both the physical distance and the cultural differences between the Netherlands and Japan and India Vinita still finds it easy to share information about both countries with her son. She elaborates,

"I’m just fascinated how children can take in so much information where language is concerned, and their flexibility in how they adjust to cultures."

Top Tips from Vinita to Teach Your Children about Your Origins

• Use the palette and share tastes with your children by cooking traditional meals at home
• Shop together for different ingredients that represent your country of origin - we frequent Asian supermarkets. 
• Eat out in restaurants that cook the cuisine of your birth land - we go to Indian or Japanese restaurants so that he knows the difference.
• Teach the language of your birth country - in our household we speak Dutch, English and Japanese
• Use cartoons, books and DVD's to share language and culture
• Use tools like Skye to stay in regular contact with family in other countries
• Take a trip - nothing beats visiting a country and family

And a last note from Vinita, which I thinks sums up beautifully how lucky us expats and our children are,

"I feel privileged to have been exposed to so many countries, cultures, and languages and that exposure has helped me in my life. I would like to pass this on to my son and hopefully it will also help him with his endeavours."

Expat Parenting: Sharing Culture and Traditions

How much of my British past should I share with my children?
Photo Credit: Gary Raven

When we raise our children in a country other than the one we were born in is it a good idea to share our past with them? Should they know what it was like to grow up in their mother's birth country? Should they speak their father's language if it is of no relevance to the country they are growing up in? And if we want to share our childhood culture and home land traditions with our offspring how do we go about doing that?

I've been thinking a lot lately about creating a treasure trove of memories for my children (in the words of Gretchin Ruben) and creating traditions that we can keep year after year. It was something triggered by Christmas last year and something that sits deep with me as a mother.

When I became a mother I found myself looking back a lot. What could I remember about my own childhood in England? What was Christmas like for me when I was young? When my eldest started school I cast my mind back to my school days and pondered how different his years in school will be to mine.

I started thinking about the fact that my three boys will be bilingual at such a young age - something I had to work hard at and never really achieved until I moved to the Netherlands. Their childhoods will be so different to mine, not just because they are a different generation, but because they were born and are being raised in a different country than I was. It makes for interesting parenting because I do want to share what it was like for me growing up in England. I want them to be able to connect to the family that is still in England (and Wales of course.....) and I want them to appreciate and notice the differences when we go back to England for holidays and visits.

But just how easy is it to share the culture and traditions of a country you were born in but which means little to your own children?

To find out, I have spoken to some expat mothers about sharing their past and the culture and traditions of their birth countries with their children. I asked them which tools they use to share information, whether they think it's important to even try and show their kids what their home country is and was like and about the challenges they face sharing the best of their life in their birth country. For the next couple of weeks you can read their experiences and share your own.