5 Ways to Embrace a Dutch December

December in the Netherlands means ferrying the children to school in near-darkness and evenings that draw in early. The temperatures take a nosedive and there’s every chance that snow will form a blanket over this little land. But a Dutch December certainly doesn’t spell doom and gloom. Winter in the Netherlands can be a lot of fun – if you are determined to embrace the colder, grey days and the dark evenings.

Here are 5 ways you can turn December into a month of gezelligheid and create a treasure trove of memories at the same time.

1. Embrace the Darkness

Candles and lights are everywhere at this time of year and with a little imagination you can make family time very special indeed whilst the dark evenings close around you.

Make lanterns or glass pot candleholders and take an evening walk in your neighbourhood, or simply let your children grab torches and go for a stroll after dinner. Children love the excitement of exploring in the dark.

Alternatively, ask your children to help you decorate a tree in your garden or your balcony with twinkling, festive lights.

Eat a family meal by candlelight. This is something that has become a bit of a tradition on winter solstice for my family, a way of marking the year’s shortest day. You could also read a story together by candlelight. Little faces light up when the candles come out.

Or you could venture out and attend one of the many mesmerising kaarsjesavonden in the region: Gouda, Zoetermeer and Voorburg all have an evening where the shopping streets  and shops are lit up with hundreds of candles.

2. Embrace the Cold

The Dutch are ice-skaters extraordinaire and you certainly can’t beat them, so join them. When the temperatures drop to below freezing, listen carefully and you can hear the sound of millions of ice skate blades being sharpened. Grab some ice skates for your children and yourself and head to the nearest frozen canal or pond and get skating. You could also use a garden chair to help you around the ice if skating really isn’t your thing – head to a frozen body of water and you’ll see what I mean.

If winter doesn’t quite play ball and the canals don’t freeze solid, head to one of the many skating rinks that open or appear at this time of year.

Similarly, a little snow doesn’t deter the Dutch from going about normal business. Many (but certainly not all) will ditch their bike for a sledge. The dunes are a place with toddler-sized hills for sledging. My children’s excitement is immeasurable when they are pulled to school and back sitting on a sledge. Head for the hills for some sneeuwpret! (Easier said than done here I know).

You can also keep warm by gathering your family around an outdoor fire basket, the children sipping hot chocolate and munching on festive biscuits and the grown ups indulging in a little Gluhwein, whilst roasting marshmallows over the flames. Gezellig!

3. Embrace the Winter Feeling

Instead of shutting down during the cold, dark days of winter, places like the Efteling embrace winter warmly like a good friend. The Dutch theme park transforms into a winter wonderland at this time of year; there is a skating rink and a cross-country skiing course (langlaufbaan) as well as live entertainment and of course hot chocolate in abundance.

Similarly the Spoorwegmuseum in Utrecht transforms into a winter station paradise from the 20th December, with music, a skate rink, a carousel and a chance to toast marshmallows outside on open fires.

There are also numerous kerstfairs across the Netherlands to enjoy too - like this one at Marienwaerdt.

4. Embrace Your Family

Cold days, dark evenings and a month of festivities leaves lots of days for quality family time. Make the most of snuggling together and watching a Christmas movie; read stories together on a mound of cushions and blankets or share tales from your own childhood winters or Christmases. Have a family games evening.

Bake mince pies, pepernoten or New Year treats with your children. Eat oliebollen together. Make and decorate a gingerbread house – and watch as your children demolish it piece by delicious piece.

Use this time of year to take silly photos, get your children behind the lens whilst you don a Santa hat. Be creative, have a little fun.

5. Embrace Good Causes

December is a perfect month for having a good clear out. It’s the season of giving, and receiving. Encourage your children to sort through their toys and donate those they no longer play with. Clear out wardrobes and donate clothes to worthy causes. Donate food to the local food bank.

Show your children the meaning of this season, and get your children thinking about who they could help at this time of year. Maybe a family friend or relative has just had a baby and would welcome a home cooked meal from your family. Maybe your children could clear the snow from an elderly neighbour’s path.

December is a month when animals can benefit from good turns too – for example by making food holders, fat balls or cakes for the birds.

There are lots of ways you can help at this time of year and get your children more involved in a less commercial side of the festive period.

Embrace December – and squeeze every last drop of gezelligheid out of the last month of 2016.

3 Lessons Brexit Could Have Learnt From Sinterklaas, Yes Sinterklaas!

It struck me today that the whole Brexit thing is rather like the whole Sinterklaas thing here in the Netherlands - and there are lessons the Brexit camp could have learnt from the Dutch. Bear with me: it's June and we're talking Sinterklaas so I know you're wondering where the hell this is going.....

Lesson 1. Outdated, Insulting and in Need of Change

For many a year now there has been a huge discussion about Sinterklaas's helpers and the fact that they are outdated, insulting and in need of change.

As it is with some of the EU institutions, those in the "Leave" camp have said, (and not many would disagree). Outdated, insulting and in need of change.

So you see, Brexit and Sinterklaas - same thing.

Did the Dutch throw Sinterklaas back to Spain and leave him there to rot? Did they stamp their feet and abandon the whole party, casting a bewildered Piet and his friends aside? Did they involve the whole world in their conundrum? No.

No, what they did, and are still doing, is shout a bit, argue amongst each other, and then let the NTR (Dutch television company who makes the Sinterklaasjournaal) gradually and subtly make changes that neither offended nor riled any particular side. The talking continues. Eventually everyone ends up happy without even realising it. Eventually.

Lesson 2. Not Logical for Modern Day Society

Many Dutch children have been screaming for years about the fact that most modern houses (i.e. the ones they live in) don't have chimneys so how were the Piets getting in to fill their shoes?

You see children are getting smarter, they are more informed than they once were, and they ask questions. They pose questions that parents can't answer, because no, none of it is logical. It's all based around an ideal, an ideal that isn't quite ideal. Sometimes it means parents have to lie to their children; it means they have to make shit up.

The situation is very much like the electorate of any EU nation. People are asking questions. Some of them are very intelligent questions, other questions not so much. People are getting much more information than they once did and social media allows that information to be spread easily. Lies, made up stuff and facts. The questions asked aren't necessarily met with the right answer. For example:

Q: Will that 350 million that we pay into the EU each week be paid to the NHS if we leave the EU?
A: Yes, we've even put it on a bus for you.

The question is based on misinformation, and the answer is an outright lie. Exactly the same as when our Dutch children ask:

Q: How does Piet get in our house if we don't have a chimney?
A1: Magic.
or A2: I don't know, I'm asleep when Piet comes into the house.
or A3: Piets have special keys that open all doors.

So what have the Dutch done to solve this chimney question? Did they ban shoe filling? Build chimneys on every home in the Netherlands? Abandon the whole Sinterklaas thing? Air their dirty laundry in public?

No, the answer is magic stones. Seriously, it's ingenious. Suddenly the Piets have magic stones to get into our homes. Methods change. Things evolve. The Dutch found an answer that fits today's problem. Children happy. Parents happy. The Piets are happy (those chimneys were a bit of a buggar to go down) and most of all Sinterklaas is happy. The Dutch now have a solution that fits with our modern day houses. They didn't knock the houses down.

Lesson 3. Who is it all for?

Ok, so there are lies told. There's an awful lot of stress involved around November and December whilst the children bounce around for weeks with excitement about the fact that Sinterklaas and his helpers are in the country and the older children hand over their surprise project to their parents out of frustration and reluctance. There is frantic shopping. Frantic planning. Lots of sugary snacks that are incredibly bad for you. There's a bit of arguing (see lesson 1) but we muddle through and then heave a sigh of relief when the man in red totters back to Spain on the 6th of December where he remains until the following November. 

It's not perfect. But wow, there are great things about it too. Seeing the pure excitement, joy and happiness on your child's face when they come down and see a present in their shoe. The sheer joy of watching your kid running out the house to look for a magic stone, or a special Sinterklaas coin. The culmination of all your hard work on 5 December and the most gezellig of all gezellig evenings.

We do it for our children. We do it so they can look back and cherish those memories, and pass those traditions and experiences on to their children one day.

We do it for our children. We are thinking about our children. And the generations to come.
You can make the connections yourself there I am sure.......

6 December aka 'Put Your Christmas Tree Up' Day

In the Netherlands as soon as pakjesavond is celebrated and Sinterklaas is on his way back to Spain everything related to the 5th of December is quickly packed away. Then it's time to turn attention to Christmas. That means everyone runs to the local garden centre or Christmas tree vendor on the 6th of December and spends the rest of the day hauling the Christmas stuff from the zolder (attic) and decorating the tree.

Which is exactly how we spent our day yesterday. Well, actually we did a little preparation and bought our tree on Friday whilst the kids were busy in school with Sinterklaas and his helpers. But then we realised we hadn't bought a snow blanket thing to put the Christmas village on so my husband popped to our local Intratuin. He picked up the last snow blanket pack.... and was actually challenged by another shopper as to whether his need was greater than hers...... It's a jungle out there folks.

Many years ago, when I was a naive and untrained expat, I attempted to get our Christmas tree up as soon as December reared its head. I learnt very quickly that that is just NOT DONE in the Netherlands. You should have the courtesy to see Sinterklaas off before you welcome Christmas into your home. I know better these days and go with the flow.

And so it is now in our home too: 6 December aka 'put your Christmas tree up' day.

From My Home to Yours - Een Fijne Pakjesavond!

However you are celebrating this evening, I wish you a fabulous pakjesavond filled with fun, laughter and gezelligheid!

Sint and his Pieten visited us early afternoon, left us some presents - and the boys are spending the afternoon playing. Harmoniously. Peacefully. Happily. Happy kids, happy mama!

Later we'll get the gourmet out and eat together. 

Happy pakjesavond to you all, from my home to yours!

The Sinterklaas School 'Surprise'

This year, for the first time, the Sinterklaas 'surprise' has made an appearance in our home. My eldest is in group 5 which means he gets to make (and also receive) a surprise for (and from) a classmate.

It's simple. He buys a present up to the value of €5 and then hides it in a surprise that he makes based on what his classmate has written as their hobbies and interests. So if his classmate has written she loves singing he makes a microphone out of toilet rolls and sticky back plastic. That sort of thing.

So far, so good right? Except that asking an eight year old to build, make or create something from scratch based on a few words (some of which his parents can't even read, let alone my son) is a tall order. There's been a lot of sighing, huffing and puffing and mutterings of, "ik weet het niet". And this is year one, with only one child doing surprises.

You can imagine how excited I am at the thought of future years when I have three sons huffing, puffing and declaring they have no idea where to begin.

Imagine my further dismay when I read Ashleigh's story on Amsterdam Mamas. Then it suddenly dawned on me that I have seen the upper school's class display's of Sinterklaas surprises in previous years. And they are not shoddy. A lot of effort goes into them. A lot of effort from people I am sure are well beyond the age of eight years old. (See my Sinterklaas Pinterest board to see what I mean!)

Remind me to clear the family calendar for two weeks before pakjesavond in future years.... I'm off to raid our recycling bins......

I would love to hear tips, advice and stories from you. Especially from you experienced Dutch parents! What's the golden tip for dealing with this 'surprise' thing?

Where We Put Our Shoes for Sinterklaas to Fill

Since Sinterklaas hit town children across the Netherlands have been putting their shoes out before they go to bed for Sinterklaas (or rather his Piets) to fill with presents, sweets and kruidnoten.

My children are no exception. As we don't have a fireplace and a chimney, we thought we'd knutsel one together..... Even though the Piets no longer have to use the chimney (as they can use their special hunnebed stenen) this creation still takes centre stage in our living room......this is the magic of the Sinterklaas celebration!

Sinterklaas Present Tip - Get Dutched Up!

Sinterklaas is weer in het land! So it's time to get your thinking caps on and fill those shoes! Get Dutched up! for that expat or Dutchie in your life.......

"Dutched Up! is a compilation of stories from Expat Women Bloggers living in the Netherlands. The book covers a wide range of topics about everyday life as seen through the eyes of a foreigner. Some are funny. Others have a wealth of professional information. Yet other stories are sad, shocking or surprising. 

There is one thing we can guarantee about this book. If you have ever lived in the Netherlands, at least one story in it will resonate with you. In all likelihood, there are a lot of stories that will sound familiar and have you nodding your head in agreement or shaking it in shared frustration. This book will help you appreciate the many moments of beauty, learning and growing."

Get Dutched Up! for Sinterklaas

If you go down to the ABC bookshop in The Hague today you're sure to get a surprise.

If you go down to the book shop today you won't believe your eyes.

Dutched Up! is there adorning the shelves in the company of some amazing expat books.

If you can't make it to The Hague then you can also grab yourself a copy with a few strokes of your keyboard:

 

Or if you live local to Zoetermeer than you can get a copy from me.

With Sinterklaas fast approaching this book makes a great gift for the expat in your life - as well as all your Dutch friends!

15 Habits for 15 Years in the Netherlands

As regular readers will already know this month marks fifteen years for me in the Netherlands. It's impossible to live in another country for fifteen years and not pick up the habits of the locals. Here's fifteen things I now do that I didn't do before I moved to the Netherlands*.

UFOs are just one Dutch habit I have picked up

1. Living local

I pretty much live life with everything on my doorstep. I walk six minutes with my children to get to school. In the Netherlands the average primary school child has to travel 700m to school. Within a few minutes on foot I can be at a number of supermarkets and even my local town is only twenty minutes walk. Life in the Netherlands (unless you head out to the sticks) is small scale and local. Hence, all the cycling. There's less jumping in your car for every little errand.

2. Breakfast

Once a week we sit together as a family and eat breakfast comprising of crackers, cheese, cold meats and a variety of things that come out of a jar - like jam and pindakaas. It's not the sort of breakfast I ever ate in England.

3. Stamppot

Once winter arrives the potato masher comes out and stamppot is firmly on the weekly menu. It's a Dutch staple served with sausage and gravy which matches well with my British upbringing - Shepherd's Pie and Cottage Pie were regularly served up for dinner. We Brits are no strangers to mashing up potatoes and vegetables so stamppot was an easy habit to pick up.

4. Soup

It may be my imagination, or my lack of culinary adventures back in Britain, but the Dutch seem to be more into making hearty vegetable soups from scratch than the Brits. You can buy everything you need in one packet in the supermarket so for the real cooking slouches you don't need to do any food preparation at all. A healthy and warming habit to have picked up - which incidentally my kids love and if there is an easy way of getting vegetables into them then it's a winner for me!

5. Natuurijs

I can not so much as remember a time I stood on a frozen body of water as a kid in England, let alone skated on one. Here in the Netherlands it's as normal in winter (weather permitting) as putting on your woolly hat and gloves. Watching the excitement of my children on natuurijs is something I will always treasure even when they're all big and grown up. I have even been known to venture out carefully to stand on the ice myself but certainly not going as far as putting ice skates on my own feet. (The habits I haven't adopted could probably fill another blog post.)

6. Hagelslag

Having a box of hagelslag (chocolate sprinkles) as a permanent feature in my kitchen cupboard is not a habit I am particularly proud of but I defy anyone with kids to live here and not have it lurking somewhere in the kitchen. In my defence, I am stricter with it than most other parents I know as my sons have it only on special occasions and not as their breakfast staple. However, you will always be able to find a box in my kitchen cupboard.

7. Country Hopping

Essentially, I grew up on an island. We visited Wales and in later years Ireland, but country hopping wasn't really something we did regularly because of the distance. And then I moved to the Netherlands - Belgium, France and Germany are practically on our doorstep. In our pre-children days my husband and I flitted off for weekends in one country or another on a regular basis. Sometimes, even just for a day. A nice habit right?

8. Supermarket Visits

This is related a little to the first habit. Supermarkets are close. I practically pass by after the school run so can pop in and grab things on my way home. My visits to the supermarket in England were strictly on a maximum of once a week basis. Frozen sections were large, even fifteen years ago in British supermarkets. In fact, supermarkets there on the whole were large fifteen years ago. Here in the Netherlands they are more local and smaller scale and the frozen food section generally nothing to write home about. It's all about fresh. The baker, the butcher and the cheesemaker (my blog - I can make up words to fit) are still well visited as part of the Dutch shopping rituals. So these days you'll find me in a supermarket or food shop more regularly than you would have done twenty years ago.

9. Orange Clothes

I am not sure if I ever wore anything orange prior to living in the land of the Dutch. It's now a habit to dress in orange at least once a year to celebrate the Dutch king's birthday. In-between there are football matches to dress in orange for - though sorry to say that 2016 is not looking like one of those years........

10. Sinterklaas

Before landing on Dutch shores I had never even heard of Sinterklaas. Now I am an enthusiastic celebrator on the 5th December - and I have got used to hearing Sinterklaas songs for the month prior to the big celebration and three months after he has left the country whilst the children try to get out of the habit of singing "Sie ginds komt een stoomboot..." every morning. Some habits you just have to grin and bear.......

11. Pancakes

We eat pancakes probably once a month. In England this was an annual affair on Shrove Tuesday. It took me a long time here to accept pancakes covered with sprinkles as my sons' dinner. But every now and then I just let it slide, tuck my Britishness away in my pocket and watch them devour pancakes as their evening meal. It's called integrating I guess.....

12. Living life in Dutch

Obviously in England my life was conducted in the English language. My days now usually comprise talking in Dutch. I talk to my sons' teachers in Dutch, I talk to people in the shops in Dutch, I greet and chat with my neighbours in Dutch. It's one of the hardest habits I have picked up, but also one of the most necessary and one of the most rewarding.

13. Watching TV with subtitles

I no longer think anything of watching a TV program spoken in Swedish, Danish or German because shows are subtitled with Dutch. The Dutch, thank goodness, do not dub TV programs (with the exception of children's programs), instead TV shows have Dutch subtitles. Not only is it a great way of picking up Dutch vocabulary, it also became such a normal thing that I miss them when they are not on my screen. And I am so used to reading them as I watch TV that the spoken language can change from English and I barely notice anymore.

14. Snacks

Before moving to the Netherlands the most exotic things I saw deep fried were fish and sausages - and I had of course heard about the infamous Mars Bar. The Dutch take deep fried food to a whole new level and have made an art of all things deep fried under the label of 'snacks'. I affectionately refer to snacks as UFOs - Unidentified Fried Objects. You don't want to know what is in the middle of one of those fried snacks you order at the snack bar. It's a habit I get dragged along with as I am married to a Dutchman, and Dutch people like snacks. I remember my first snack bar experience - it was confusing and stressful. Being asked the question, "What would you like?" whilst faced with a billion unfamiliar things in the cooler before me was harrowing......

15. ADO Den Haag

My most recent habit that has formed is my regular attendance at the Kyocera Stadium in The Hague to watch my local eredivisie club ADO Den Haag play football. Aside, from my actual Dutch home, it's become the place I feel most at home in the Netherlands. It's my favourite habit to date.


*This post was inspired by 7 habits for 7 years in Germany by Let the Journey Begin

Santa v Sinterklaas: How We Explain it to Our Children

For some reason this year I have seen lots of questions from expats in the Netherlands about how to get their children to wrap their heads around the whole Sinterklaas versus Santa Claus thing. And when blogger Linda (Wetcreek) posed the question on my My Love Hate Relationship with Sinterklaas post, I thought I'd share how we have handled it.

The truth is that years ago, probably five or six when my son started to get a little about what was going on with Sinterklaas, my Dutch husband and I realised that the cultural clash we had when it came to the festive season actually mattered for our children.

My husband grew up celebrating Sinterklaas on the 5th December, and I grew up in complete British oblivion where 5 December was just another winter day. Until he met me, he had never had a present on Christmas Day. My Dutch in-laws changed the rules during my first Christmas in the Netherlands and there were presents under the tree - but for all of them it was a completely new concept that gifts were exchanged on the 25th December. Prior to my arrival Christmas was about a family meal.

So, from the start of our relationship it was clear that we had two very different experiences of Christmas - a Dutch celebration at the beginning of December which was alien to me, and meant nothing to me and a Christmas Day that was a much bigger affair for me than it ever was for my husband.

So I adapted, I embraced pakjesavond for my children (let's face it, if you have Dutch children there is no other way to approach 5 December) and we go completely Dutch.(This year I actually got to sit on Sinterklaas' lap - which may be taking the 'embracing' a little far - what do you think?) My husband led the way for a few years until I got the hang of it (the rules are there are no rules) and now I feel pretty confident that I could run the Sinterklaas show if I had to.

However, when it comes to Christmas, we do it British style. We hang stockings on our doors on Christmas Eve, and Father Christmas fills our stockings with little gifts and leaves presents for us under our Christmas tree.

Christmas is a bigger affair than Sinterklaas when it comes to presents, and the children know that Father Christmas will visit in a matter of weeks after pakjesavond. I guess we are lucky because so far I have never heard my children comparing their gift list to their friends - and I am pretty sure they do not feel hard done by on the 5th December. Better still, when my eldest laid in bed on the evening of the 5th December this year he uttered, "It's a shame pakjesavond is over." Then his eyes lit up, and he said, "But we have a visit from Father Christmas to look forward to!"

How do we explain it? Well, I'm British. My children are half Dutch, half British. Father Christmas comes to us (and not to other Dutch children) because my sons are half British. If anyone asks them about Christmas my sons happily reel off,

"Father Christmas comes to us because my mama is British." 

When my eldest was younger he asked if Sinterklaas knew Father Christmas, and we told him they are friends and colleagues. They share information about what children have been up to during the year - they help each other. He was happy with that. Two different figures, two different occasions.

End of Christmas story. I hope it's as easy for you..........

How do you explain cultural differences to your children during this festive period?

My Sunday Photo: Zwarte Piet, Kruidnoten and the Sint

My Love Hate Relationship with Sinterklaas

Let's get one thing straight - fourteen years ago Sinterklaas was a non-entity in my life. For a few years after that I saw him coming and going, getting on with his business but leaving me in peace.

Then one day, when my eldest son was a couple of years old, Sinterklaas and his staf suddenly invaded my home. He came in uninvited and practically put his feet up on my sofa for weeks on end. And he's done it every year since.

A first I didn't have feelings for him one way or another. Then another of my children reached "I get Sinterklaas" age in my home and my eldest was fully initiated in primary school.

What that means, for those of you whose children are not yet of school going age, is this:

• Sinterklaasjournaal every day. Every sodding day. Every day here at home and in school. The boys insisted on it - and we, as caring, loving parents, also had to know what was going on so we could throw ourselves in to the storyline (read: wind our own kids up by being in cahoots with the entire Dutch nation with one disaster or another to befall Sinterklaas, his boat, his horse or, horror of horrors, the presents).

• A house full of Sinterklaas knutsels. The first year when my son brought home a Piet muts he'd made in the peuterspeelzaal I cooed and ahhhed, like all good mothers do. Six years later and more homemade Piet and Sinterklaas hats, drawings, sacks and paper shoes than any sane person would know what to do with I'm done. Spare me. My house is one big cluttered paper mess. The drawings are beautiful, everything they have made has been lovingly put together and crafted and oh, my boys are so proud. It melts my heart. But stop already. 

• A house full of little people who are literally bouncing off and climbing up the walls in excitement. Not just for a day. Not even a week. But weeks. Plural. The moment the man in red arrives on Dutch shores the craziness begins. My house and every Dutch school classroom turns in to a sugar induced lunatic asylum with kids bouncing off each other counting down the days until they get their presents, and Sinterklaas clears off back to Spain leaving us to clear up his mess. 

• It means singing. A lot of singing. Now, I'm all for a good sing song. I'll croon away with the best of them. But Sinterklaas songs get tedious sang at the top of a child's voice for weeks on end. There are many Sinterklaas songs but there are only three that stick in any child's mind. Sinterklaas bloody kapoentje. Zwarte Piet ging uit fietsen and Sinterklaas is jarig, zet hem op de pot. The last song is sung in a fit of uncontrollable giggles. And the worst thing is that whilst I am trying to ingrain beautiful Christmas carols in to my sons once Sinterklaas has toddled back off to Spain, they are still singing Sinterklaas bloody kapoentje. It's around May when they finally stop.

So that's how the Sinterklaas celebration looks when your children start primary school. Seriously, count your blessings if your offspring is yet to turn four. 

On the other hand….. who could not be charmed by the excitement of three little boys whose whole world for a couple of weeks a year revolves around a fantasy? The enthusiasm they have for Sinterklaas and his band of helpers is like nothing else. When my four year old is telling me what happened in the latest Sinterklaasjournaal he is literally jumping up and down whilst talking. Who can't love the innocence of uncontainable excitement? When do we, as adults, ever get to experience such enthusiasm? 

The thrill of pakjesavond for children is immeasurable, waiting for a knock on the door, a gloved hand around the door throwing sweets at them and then….. the grand finale, the moment they have waited weeks for - the sack of presents left in the hall. And it's not about what is in those sacks left behind. It's the magic that those many sacks scattered across the Netherlands represent. A magic that only a child gets. Only a child can experience. That feeling of being so excited you feel like you could burst. And that's what I love about Sinterklaas. That's why I contain my feelings of resentment when he bursts in to my home in November, puts his feet up on my sofa and makes himself cosy until the 6th of December. For my children, who after all is what Sinterklaas is all about. 

So, however and wherever you are celebrating pakjesavond tomorrow enjoy your evening. Enjoy the moments of joy and excitement of your children, enjoy the family time - but know that I'll be the first in line to wave the good man off on Saturday morning……..

Kaaskop Piet and Stroopwafel Piet

The question of who will accompany Sinterklaas
this year has finally been answered.

This year, when Sinterklaas arrives with his Petes in Gouda we will not only see 'traditional' Petes but also stroopwafel and kaas Petes. Both products are very much related to Gouda itself.

Yep, you read that right, we will see Petes the colour of golden, yellow cheese and the brown colour of stroopwafels, with a chequered design like the surface of the yummy syrupy biscuits. I, for one, was a little surprised with the announcement made yesterday by Gouda's council. I couldn't have dreamt those changes up in even a drug or drink induced stupor but I am pretty sure my kids will love the idea.

But let's get to the crux of the matter. I do foresee a problem for those stroopwafel fanatics like my dad who may well be tempted to lick the faces of future Petes. It's going to be a struggle keeping the many stroopwafel fans under control I fear.

As for the cheese Petes, well, a whole other story. Kaaskop Piet. Which has caused a bit of a stir amongst some Dutch article commenters, stating that the Dutch already have a problem being known as cheese heads, and this certainly won't help.

However, these new Piet 'flavours' will make up only five percent of the total Piet collection on the 15th November in the great city of Gouda.

The debate gets crazier every year, but, as I said last year, change was on the cards. The changes are not enough for some. For others it's too much. It's a debate that will continue, and it's one that is still  causing a huge difference of opinion in Dutch society.

Me? I have no further words.

The Future of Zwarte Piet

We are usually spared the whole Zwarte Piet debate until around October or November time when Sinterklaas is due to hit Dutch shores but this year the summer is already poised to be filled with Black Pete discussions.

Last week an Amsterdam court ruled that Zwarte Piet is a racist figure, and consequently the Amsterdam council may like to rethink the intocht (the arrival of Sinterklaas in November in the city) and revisit the appearance of the iconic Dutch figure. The court has expressed that the council should consider the negative feelings that Zwarte Piet evokes for some people. In short, Zwarte Piet is a negative stereotype. Some agree with the court ruling. Some don't.

Last year the anti-Zwarte Piet lobby was more vocal than ever and even the United Nations waded into a debate that had longed stayed at a national level, stepping on more toes than it ever could have imagined.

Behind the scenes, not just in Amsterdam, but in the Netherlands as a whole, a new image of Zwarte Piet is being discussed and worked on. What this means for 2014 remains to be seen but it is likely that the stereotypical slavery items such as the gold hooped earrings and the black curly hair will be the first to go. There has also been lots of talk of ditching the black face altogether in favour of different colours - rainbow Petes if you will. I saw an example 'Purple Piet' in a newspaper article and I have to say it looked pretty good.

As I stated last year in a blog post the time for change has come and Zwarte Piet will evolve - that is sure to happen. It is something that has been happening over the decades anyway in a slow and subtle manner. But it is a fact that any dramatic immediate change will be met with fierce resistance.

However the Zwarte Pieten look when they arrive this November from Spain with the good, holy Sint I do hope that someone else will be doing the explaining for us parents who will be the ones left with confused children asking a billion and one questions. The same children who do not see Zwarte Piet as a racist figure, the same children who fortunately wouldn't know what racism is if they fell over it on the way to school, the same children who are blind to the implications of the colour of a person's skin and see Zwarte Piet as a fun clown like figure. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against the evolution of Zwarte Piet, far from it,  but I hope that whatever changes are made the children are put first - after all Sinterklaas is a children's celebration.

A Guide to Pakjesavond in the Netherlands (aka 5 December)

Today is pakjesavond in the Netherlands which is the evening that St Nicholas' birthday is celebrated. It literally means parcel or present evening. What it means in reality is an evening of gezelligheid. It's an evening when friends and family get together, eat together, exchange gifts and play games together.

Pakjesavond with young children in the house is very different to a pakjesavond with older children or adults around. With a six, three and two year old in house I'll share what our pakjesavond looks like.

A 'pizzarette'
(affiliate link)

First we eat together: sometimes we gourmet or fondue with us all around the table, last year I made pancakes and tied them up to look like Sinterklaas's sack and this year we have invested in a pizzarette. It is basically a pizza oven for on the dining table and everyone creates their own small pizza and then puts it under the pizza dome to cook. I have a feeling my kids will love this! The essence of the pakjesavond mealtime is fun and together.

Once we have finished eating we sit together in the living room and sing Sinterklaas songs, as loud as we can. The harder we sing, the more likely it is that Sinterklaas and his Piets will pay us a visit. There is a loud knocking on the door, which is then opened slightly, enough for a gloved hand to sneak through and throw kruidnoten, taai taai, pepernoten and sweets - all traditional Dutch Sinterklaas lekkernijen. Then the door closes (our children stop screaming and crying and realise that the floor is covered in sweet things for them to eat) and the children scurry around and collect anything edible from the floor and stuff their faces with as much as they can. Then the penny clicks that Sinterklaas has been and they rush to the hall to find a sack of presents for them.

We spend the rest of the evening opening presents and playing with new things until little ones are rubbing their eyes and complaining of stomach ache and it is clearly time for bed.

So here's a summary of what you need for a pakjesavond with small children:

1. Presents
2. A sack – to put all the presents in
3. A knowledge of Sinterklaasliedjes (songs) – for the children to sing to encourage St. Nicholas and his entourage to visit their house
4. A friendly neighbour or a fast moving parent (or you can even hire a Sinterklaas or Piet) – to play Sint's helper Piet
5. A door or a door bell– for Sint’s helper to knock on/ ring
6. A black glove – for Piet to wear on the hand that will appear through the door
7. Pepernoten, kruidnoten and other sweets designed to give any child a sugar injection – for Piet to throw through a crack in the door with his gloved hand

Traditional Dutch Sinterklaas biscuits - kruidnoten

You can of course make your own kruidnoten - there's a simple, great recipe and explanation about typically Dutch ingredients right here.

If the children are older, or the company is entirely made up of adults the evening looks very different. It works a little more like Secret Santa so everyone is responsible for the present of one person. The present is then a small gift, a surprise, which is hidden in something homemade, instead of simply being wrapped.

It can be as elaborate as you can imagine, or as simple as you can make it. An example is this ski piste (see link) with a present firmly encased in the middle, needing a lot of force to get the present out. Or a disco ball perhaps.

School children are usually assigned to make them for each other in the higher groups of primary school - the more creative the better, and the more difficult it is to get the present out the funnier.

There is often an accompanying rhyme or poem written by the gift givers, joke presents and a game to accompany the gift giving which involves rolling a die. Instructions include things like swapping presents with your neighbour (hence the chance to end up with the joke present that no one wants) or performing a task if you throw a certain number. The games are as creative and as varied as you want to make them!

The essential element of pakjesavond, the thing that holds it together, just like Christmas, is the company you spend the evening with. It is about being together, having fun and sharing each other's company. It's about family and friends, however you celebrate it. Happy birthday St Nicholas!

5 December - It's a Dutch Thing

When I first moved to the Netherlands in 2000, the annual celebration on the 5th December baffled me. Year after year, in search of enlightenment I bombarded my Dutchie with questions.

Thirteen years after witnessing Sinterklaas and his helpers for the first time, I get it. I really do. In 2007 we celebrated it for the first time as a family, because we had a child. Every year since then our celebration has got bigger and better. We have three children that find this time of year magical. Truly magical, and that is what the onlookers on the outside don't see - the children's joy and excitement. It is absolutely a children's festival.

Sinterklaas is now a part of life, and  I feel qualified enough to  answer my own questions that I once had about Sinterklaas and the festivity of 5 December:

• You Dutch celebrate both Sinterklaas and Christmas. How does that work exactly?

Sinterklaas and Christmas, whilst sharing the same origins, are just not the same thing. That's why there are two different celebrations. The Dutch do not have two Christmases (contrary to the suppositions of a certain supposed UN representative recently). They celebrate Sinterklaas and Christmas.

• What do you tell the children - Sinterklaas comes at the beginning of December from Spain on the steamboat with his horse, and then the Kerstman comes at the end of the month with his sleigh and reindeer?

The Dutch don't need to explain the appearance of the kerstman twenty days after Sinterklaas because most Dutch families do not have Father Christmas bringing presents on the 25th December - presents are exchanged in some cases but they are openly from each other. They aren't left in the dead of night under the Christmas tree by a jolly figure in red. My husband had never received a present on Christmas Day until I moved to the Netherlands. That's how different the idea of Christmas has been here. The kerstman is known as the Coca Cola santa here. My lucky kids have both figures visiting them because they have a British mother - and that is easy enough to explain.

• How does buying two lots of presents in December fit with the Dutch reputation of stinginess being careful with money?

As already mentioned, presents aren't necessarily the norm here at Christmas and certainly not on the grand scale it is in Britain and the United States for example. Besides that the presents on the 5th December are brought over from Spain on the boat by Sinterklaas and the Pieten, even though the Hema and C1000 logos are clear for all to see on chocolate letters and presents… something that did not escape my then five year old last year…..

• What do you mean you want me to put a carrot in my shoe?

No biggie, I'm fine with putting a carrot in my shoe these days as long as the horse gets the carrot out without slobbering in my shoe.

• Why do you throw sweets at your children?
To be fair there are other times of the year when I feel like throwing things at the kids (not just my kids). Getting it all out of your system once a year with sweets is quite ingenious.

Seriously though, you do need to think about where your children will be when the 'gloved hand' comes around the door and throws sweets into the room on Pakjesavond. Two years ago we narrowly avoided a hospital run when a 'Piet' lobbed goodies into our living room, into the play pen my then two month old baby was lying in. Three screaming kids (two petrified, one injured) is not the best way to spend an evening.

• St Nicholaas is actually from Turkey but travels from Spain in a boat to the Netherlands every year - how does that work?

Okay, hands up, this is one of the things I still can't explain - the whole 'he comes from Spain on a boat' thing is a mystery to me. I have no idea. Nobody I have spoken to has a proper explanation, other than it's a great holiday home destination. It just is so.

• Where can I find an online Sinterklaas poem generator?
Google it.

• So, let me get this right. Good girls get chocolate letters and pepernoten and bad girls get a free trip to Spain?

I have since learnt that NO ONE gets to go to Spain. Years of trying my hardest to get on the naughty list to get put in a sack for a free holiday to Spain. It's a bloody myth. The idea terrifies the kids though and gets them to do what you want for two or three weeks of the year whilst Sinterklaas is in town.

• Sint’s slaves helpers are black because of the soot in the chimneys? Really?

The least said about this the better I think. This year has seen the biggest uproar yet to Zwarte Piet and I wouldn't be wholly surprised if we see a few changes over the coming years.

• What do you mean I can't finish off this Sint paper and use it to wrap Christmas presents?

As I said, I get it now. It's not the same thing. That would be like wrapping Easter eggs in Christmas paper.

Any more questions anyone?

How To Piss off the Dutch*

Sinterklaas: the children's December celebration is
under fire in the Netherlands

The best way to rile a Dutch person is to ask them why they need two Santa Clauses and suggest they scrap one, namely the white bearded one with those very questionable black helpers who arrives in the country on a boat from Spain in November. And to be honest I can understand why they are pretty pissed off at the moment.

My disbelief at what is currently hitting the news does not stem from the fact that there is once again a huge debate about Zwarte Piet, racism and slavery. The issue has been on the table for many years, there is open discussion in Dutch society about Zwarte Piet and questions have been raised many times over about whether the appearance should be altered, including from prominent Dutch figures. Traditions, in general, move with the times, things change and Zwarte Piet, I'm sure, will continue to change too.

What actually riles me about the discussion this year is that it is spearheaded by someone who seems to have very little understanding of the Dutch and what the celebration of Sinterklaas is about.  What riles me is the clumsy manner that a nation is told that their tradition is inferior to the Coca-Cola Santa that dominates the Christmas festivities of other countries, and that they should scrap their celebration on the 5th December. Verene Shepherd (UN representative) asked why the Netherlands needs two Santa Clauses. This is what pisses me off. Such a comment can only be made by somebody who is completely ignorant to the Dutch tradition of Sinterklaas, somebody who has not yet done their homework.

"Shepherd calls on prime Minister Mark Rutte to put an end to Sinterklaas. The prime minister has the power to influence the group that maintains this habit. If the Dutch government recognizes the Sinterklaas tradition is outdated, they should instruct the groups organizing it, to stop, according to Shepherd. And what is wrong with  one Sinterklaas? Why does The Netherlands have two?  Shepherd wondered in the program, referring to Santa Claus." - NL Times

The reality is that the Netherlands does not have two Santa Clauses. It has one Sinterklaas. I am yet to meet a Dutch family that has Santa Claus or Father Christmas visit them on the 25 December. Any Santa Claus figure that makes an appearance at Christmas time is purely commercial and is in no way a Dutch tradition. The Santa Claus that countries such as Britain and America know and love is known as the Coca-Cola Santa here. 

If the Dutch weren't already pissed off about being accused of being racist, the suggestion that they should stick with the Coca-Cola Santa Claus and do away with their own tradition certainly did the trick. Nothing like attacking a folk to get them heading to a Facebook page to express themselves at a rate of 100 likes per second….

*The title of this blog post is stolen from inspired by The Head of the Heard's post How to Piss off a Brazilian.

Sharing Our Roots - an interview with Suzanne

In the fourth post of this Sharing Our Roots series, Dutch mother Suzanne shares her viewpoint on raising culturally aware children whilst living in Britain.

Making friends the English way - school
uniform and all!
(c) Suzanne

Suzanne was born in the Netherlands but now lives in London in England with her husband and two daughters who are two and four (or as her eldest prefers "four and three quarters"). Suzanne's daughters were born in Britain and hold British passports but not Dutch ones. Suzanne explains why,

"The sole reason is the inconvenience of legalizing their British birth certificates, which is a requirement of the Dutch embassy. The passport of my eldest will expire soon and I’m thinking of taking advantage of the situation to get both girls a Dutch passport as well as extending their British ones. As we have different surnames and nationalities I always get questions at the border and am asked to show their birth certificates when my husband isn’t travelling with us, which is most of the time."

Thinking to the future, Suzanne also sees another advantage of obtaining dual nationality for her daughters, but also considers the practicalities of the unthinkable,

"I can also imagine it being easier for them to move to the Netherlands with Dutch passports if we or they should ever want or need to. For example, their legal guardians (should my husband and I both die) are in the Netherlands. I can imagine a few legal hurdles would need to be overcome before they’d be allowed to leave the UK in such a case."

Asked whether she thinks it is important for her children to know about the country she herself was born in Suzanne replies,

"I don’t dwell on it, I don’t even consider myself an expat - I’m just Dutch and happen to live in the UK. I do think it’s great for kids living in a “dominant” culture (like the UK or North America) to have a true appreciation of the differences between the country they’re growing up in and the other country they’re culturally linked to (or countries, as my London-born husband’s parents are Italian). It also helps them relate to their cousins who are huge role models for them."

So how do you share Dutch culture with your children whilst living in London? Suzanne teaches her

Getting used to Father Christmas, even though
Sinterklaas still visits Dutch children living
abroad!
(c) Suzanne

children about the Dutch holidays and communicates with them in Dutch. Whilst she is working the family has a Dutch nanny who keeps the Dutch language in use in the family home. Suzanne says,

"Between us we read stories, sing songs and show videos that provide context around Sinterklaas, koninginnedag and day-to-day traditions such as hagelslag (chocolate sprinkles), cycling, street play, the absence of school uniforms and so on. Our nanny is a lot younger than I am and can share more of what the current generation experiences."

The children soaking in the Dutch culture
during a visit to Leiden
(c) Suzanne

The family also visits the Netherlands around three times a year which is hugely beneficial for the language skills of her children as Suzanne explains,

"Whenever we visit my family in the Netherlands they get a full 4-5 day language and culture immersion resulting in a huge improvement of their spoken Dutch."

Suzanne relays that she doesn't seek out the Dutch community locally or attend Dutch related events. Instead she makes optimal use of the internet and brings back Dutch books from their trips to the Netherlands.

"We also call the grandparents a lot and sing at least one Dutch song at bedtime each night," she says.

The only real issue that Suzanne relates to bringing up children in a country she was not born in revolves around language although she does notice a potential culture difference in parenting styles,

"My husband doesn’t speak Dutch so I find it hard to speak Dutch consistently. Besides this I cannot think of any negatives. I’m completely at home here and don’t have issues with not being able to relate to how they experience childhood. I do find kids a bit self-entitled and spoiled here and feel I’m always the tougher parent (“no, you can’t have a biscuit the second you walk out of the school gates even though all the other kids can”) but that may be a trend of the time rather than the place."

Whilst bringing up bilingual children can throw up challenges for parents, Suzanne has a gem of advice for other parents when the going gets tough,

"If you do want to teach your kids your language, stick to it. Don’t worry about them getting behind in the other language. They will catch up very quickly and will be forever grateful for being bilingual."

Sharing our Roots - an interview with Charlie Raemakers

Continuing the series about passing on culture and traditions to children who were born or who live in a different birth country to one or both parents -  this week Charlie Raemakers shares her experiences.

Charlie was born in Scotland and currently lives in Hollands Kroon in the Netherlands. She has two children who were born in England and Scotland. Her eldest is six and her youngest is five and they had just turned three and two respectively when the family moved to the Netherlands. Both children have British nationality but the intention is to obtain dual nationality for both of them now that they are living in the Netherlands (their father is Dutch).

Charlie has no doubts at all that it is important that her children know about Britain, despite moving away,

"My nationality, language, heritage and culture are all very much part of who I am and therefore part of who my children are. When we lived in the UK I also felt very strongly that they knew about the Dutch culture and language (my husband is Dutch).  Traditions across the nations are so diverse and for us family is very important, so I think for our children to be able to share in the traditions with their families on both sides of the North sea and to be able to communicate with both sides of the family is part of the glue that keeps us all bonded and connected."

With this in mind, Charlie has a solid plan for sharing the British culture, traditions and holidays with her children,

"During the big holidays such as Christmas, Halloween & bonfire night it is relatively easy to continue the traditions I grew up with. Once Sinterklaas has been and gone we start to focus on the count down to Christmas.

The tree goes up, the kids help to decorate it, they write to santa with their wish list.  They always get a personal message from Santa in the week before Christmas via the Portable North Pole website and we track Santa on Norad on Christmas eve.  They put out milk and cookies for Santa and a carrot for the reindeer, hang their stockings up and always find new pyjamas on their pillow that the elves have sneaked in whilst they are having a bath.  We put reindeer food (oats with glitter) out on the street so the reindeer know where to land.  They hang a sock on the end of their bed in which they always find a satsuma and chocolate coins on Christmas morning."

Charlie also makes sure that the Christmas meal remains a British tradition, even if it means scouring the shops for ingredients and asking for the help of family. She explains,

"I have gone to great lengths in the past to source a turkey for Christmas day and always manage to get hold of parsnips.  These are things that are not easy to come across in the Netherlands but so far, every year we have had a traditional British Christmas. I have been sent Christmas crackers every year as well, so you will find us all sitting at the table wearing our paper crowns listening to the Christmas hits I grew up with. We went back to Scotland last year for Christmas, I couldn't wait to take them to a grotto to meet Santa and have all of the family around over the festive period - so magical for the boys!"

Christmas is not the only holiday that Charlie shares with her children. Whilst Halloween is growing in popularity in the Netherlands, it's not yet marked on the same level as in Britain.

"Last year I threw a halloween party for the kids and their friends. My mum was visiting so we decorated the house with cobwebs and spooky banners and went to a lot of effort with the food to make it as gory as possible.  Mum also brought some halloween decorations over and my Dutch mother in law, who now lives in the UK, sent a box of halloween goodies over.  We did "dooking for apples", ate candy apples, listened to halloween mash ups and played games and of course dressed up.  For the Dutch kids & our adult friends this was their first taste of Halloween and everybody really enjoyed it. I love the fact that our traditions aren't just about us and our family but they are stretching out into our friends lives as well."

Charlie raises an interesting point. When expats travel they not only learn about a new culture, but they share their own cultures with new people. November 5th is a special day in Britain, but it means nothing to the Dutch. Dutch friends and family, as well as the children, are often eager to learn about the origins of Bonfire night too. Charlie makes sure it's marked in her household, even if it isn't easy,

Hard to celebrate Bonfire night abroad - but sparklers
are always a hit
Photo Credit: Jenny Sliwinski

"Bonfire night is tricky because legally you can only set off fireworks on December 31st in the Netherlands.  Sparklers however are easy to come across and we talk about Guy Fawkes and look at bonfire videos on You Tube."

Sharing holidays, traditions and culture is not always straight forward. Sometimes it clashes with what the children already know and like,

"For Burns night I had a tin of haggis I bought from a deli in Scotland...nobody liked it though, except for me! On shrove Tuesday (pancake day in the UK) I decided to make a batch of scotch pancakes in place of the traditional Dutch ones we eat most of the time.  I put a load of sweet toppings on the table... sugar, jam, lemon, golden syrup.  My youngest son was appalled that I would dare put such tiny pancakes on the table and defiantly declared "Where is the cheese and icing sugar?" but hey, you can't win them all!"

Like Vinita Salome, Charlie finds that food and tastes are an important way to share her culture with her family. British food is often served in the Raemaker household,

There's not much more English than scones!
Photo credit: Ariel C

"I love nothing better than spending a Sunday afternoon in the kitchen preparing a big roast dinner. Again this is something I have initiated my Dutch friends and family into. From time to time I make stovies, shepherds pie, mince and tatties and chicken pie. We bake scones every now and then too."

Whilst Charlie is raising her children with an understanding of their roots, she believes it is also important to stay faithful to their Dutch heritage. With that in mind when Charlie got married in 2011 the wedding represented the family's dual background,

"In October 2011, after nearly 11 years together my partner and I got married. We decided to get married in Scotland, in a big castle near Edinburgh. We had a traditional Scottish wedding with some Dutch twists; there was a Scottish piper, the kids and my Scottish family wore kilts, there was a pipe band in the evening, a ceiligh band and lots of Scottish dancing. We had traditional Scottish and Dutch food, there was a Scottish and a Dutch flag flying on the masts and the kids were totally immersed in the Scottish culture but with a reminder here and there of their Dutch roots too. The master of ceremonies introduced everything in English & Dutch and my in-laws conducted their speech in English & Dutch as well.  The best thing about that weekend was having all of the children's Dutch & Scottish family together and the two cultures intertwining for a day."

Sharing culture on a daily basis is a little trickier but with the help of TV, books and the internet Charlie has the tools on hand to make sure her children are keeping up with the English language,

"My kids watch CBBC (the BBC's children's channel) and I have some fantastic Scottish kids books, such as Rory McGrory, Clan Mingen and a horrible histories of Scotland book.  With supervision You Tube is a fantastic source of information for young kids and great for watching retro british cartoons, such as Super Ted, Banana Man, Desperate Dan and the Funny Bones.  My kids watch these so that they are regularly immersed in the English language."

Television also beams British events directly into the family living room, allowing the children to witness historic happenings that they otherwise would miss. Charlie explains,

"The last couple of years have been very exciting times in the UK, with the Royal wedding, the Queens diamond jubilee and the 2012 Olympics. We have followed all of these events on the telly, watched videos on You Tube and discussed these events."

The family are lucky enough to welcome lots of visitors from the UK, including lots of young children so the Raemaker children have plenty of opportunity to mix with other British people. There is an annual trip back to the UK too.

Raising children in a country you were not born in brings with it many challenges. One such challenge centres around raising children to be at least bilingual. The children lead the way according to Charlie,

"I speak English with the kids and they answer back in Dutch.  However when other English speaking people are visiting they switch to English easily, which is always a relief because they speak so little English at home.  What I have learned from raising bilingual children is that they go through phases of preferring one language or the other but when they NEED to speak English they do it, fluently."

Another challenge Charlie has faced is that parenting overseas often demands adaptation from at least one parent to deal with cultural differences and that often requires a change in mindset.

"One of the biggest challenges I have faced has been learning about the education system my kids are going through, it is very different to the system I grew up in," says Charlie.

The abundance of water in the Netherlands requires
a change in mindset from expat parents
Photo Credit: A van Mulligen

"I have had to abandon a bit of my Britishness when it comes to molly cuddling kids.  Here the kids have so much freedom from a young age and there isn't the same health & safety mentality that there is in the UK. I found I had to be more relaxed about what my kids can and can't do.  Í frequently mutter to myself 'that would never be allowed in the UK' especially at soft play centres and swimming pools.  A good example is that we live a few paces from a waterway and there is a play park for young children on a decking over the water!"

Despite being eager to ensure that her children know about the country they were born in, the country she grew up in, she has no reservations about immersing herself in her Dutch life and making sure the Netherlands feels like home to them all. But it is something she has had to work at by putting herself forward and stepping outside her comfort zone.

"I am a stay at home mum so getting out and meeting people and socialising with the kids was very difficult for the first ten months before my eldest started school.  Communication was difficult and I always had to take my husband to things like parents evenings.  Being the 'foreigner' on the playground felt very strange at first as well and I really struggled in the first year. I was always self conscious when I spoke Dutch so kept my head down a lot.

Within a year that changed, I grew in confidence and my language skills improved very quickly.  It is so so so important to learn the language of your new country, otherwise you are totally isolated and I can imagine after a couple of years you end up very miserable.

We have lived here for three years now.  I speak the language fluently, I get involved with everything going on at school and throw myself into taking part in all of the Dutch traditions and festivities throughout the year.  I was class mother last year and I give English lessons at school (on a voluntary basis).  I have made a fantastic circle of friends, both mothers at school, neighbours and some of my husbands colleagues.  There have of course been challenges along the way, moving abroad is never going to be easy.  But with some determination and good support at home from my lovely husband I really feel we have found our place here."