Almost Dutch?

Over the years my Dutch husband and I have touched upon the topic of me and Dutch citizenship. Every discussion has ended with the conclusion that I had nothing to gain from owning a Dutch passport in addition to my British one. Until Brexit. Brexit has changed everything. Maybe. Potentially. 


Although no one knows for sure what the future holds for the status of British expats like me living in the European Union I do know that there is a chance that Brexit will mean some kind of change to my residency status and/or working permissions within EU countries. And so, like many other expat Brits, I started seriously looking into obtaining Dutch citizenship so, given any eventuality, I will  still enjoy the same rights as my Dutch family.

The decision by Britain to leave the EU was taken two months ago but my application for Dutch citizenship is filed, in progress and awaiting the decision of the local mayor. It was filed a month ago actually. I didn't hang around! I could be about to get seriously Dutched Up!

The process has been painless, quick and much easier than I ever could have imagined. And because of the many questions I have had on Facebook about the process I am going through I decided to write this blog post and share my experiences.

Why You Should See 'Soldaat van Oranje'

I shared my Dutch bucket list with you in the summer of 2014 and I am pleased to report that one of those wishes recently came true. I went to see Soldaat van Oranje.

It was even more special than I had imagined. It was a truly spectacular show - even my husband who is not a musical theatre show kind of Dutch guy was blown away by Soldaat van Oranje. It has been sold out for five years now, and now I understand why.

The story (based on a true story) is set during the Second World War when the Netherlands was under the occupation of the Germans. Leiden students Erik Hazelhoff Roelfzema and his friends realise that war changes everything. It turns life upside down and makes sure that each person is confronted with the consequences of their choices. Do you fight for your fatherland? Take the side of your occupiers? Or stick your head in the sand? Deep questions which get you thinking - what would you have done? You cannot leave this show without being deeply touched, without asking questions of yourself.

The story is gripping, particularly to this Brit whose studies at school about WW2 were through the eyes of the British and the French. Learning about the war from a Dutch perspective has fascinated me since I came to live in the Netherlands. The war was very different for the Dutch than it was for the British.

But it's not just the story that keeps you hooked: it's the rotating stage, the amazing props, the moments of tension interspersed with comedy, even the location is phenomenal. The theatre is in an airplane hangar on the former Valkenburg military base.

I wouldn't hesitate to see it a second time.

If you haven't yet seen it and your Dutch language skills are up to it, then grab yourself some tickets and treat yourself to a fantastic evening out! You won't regret it.

8 Things Expats Should Know About Going Shopping in the Netherlands

If you want to come home from a shopping expedition in the Netherlands with your sanity in tact retaining any semblance of a good mood, there are a few guidelines you'd be wise to follow. Whether it is a trip to the local supermarket, or some retail therapy in your local high street or winkelcentrum, you need to go shopping prepared.

1. Avoid shopping on Saturdays

Regular high street shops are open from 9.00 to 6pm at the latest from Monday to Saturday. On a Monday, many shops won't open until lunchtime. In addition to this, there will be a koopavond in your town - usually a Thursday or Friday, when the shops are open until somewhere in the region of 9pm. 

Sunday opening is more wide spread than it once was but it remains scattered, controversial and not worth relying on in anything but major towns. Hence, the stampede on Saturdays as the entire Dutch population descends on the local high streets; little wonder as most people are working when the shops are open the rest of the time. If you like elbow shoving, queuing and moaning, then save your shopping spree for a Saturday afternoon.

2. Weekly Supermarket Shops are for Saturdays Only

Don't think you can walk into any supermarket at anytime and load your shopping trolley up to the brim. If you do this in the evening, around the time people come out of work, you can expect sighing, tutting and catty comments about how your type should be banned from supermarkets. Evenings are for those people who do their shopping daily - those grabbing vegetables, milk and bread - and not for you to do your weekly shop. 

Before you ask, no it is not the supermarket's fault that only two of the eight tills are open during the busiest period of the shopping day so queues form: it is YOUR fault because you do your weekly shop outside the socially accepted designated times.

3. Take Carrier Bags Out with You

If you go shopping empty handed, you must either juggle your purchases under your armpits, have big pockets, or pay for bags. Some shops will give you free bags, but you take the risk of needing hospital treatment for cuts inflicted by the inappropriate handles attached to the dangerously thin bags and in 2015 even this will be history.

4. Shop Online Around the Holidays

Shops in December are no-go. Everyone is frantically buying Sinterklaas gifts, promptly followed by Christmas presents. However, the snag is that Dutch shops offer to wrap your gifts for free..... Yes, for free... and this means the Dutch are queued out of the shop doors in their droves for their free wrapping. Unless you are partial to Bart Smit or V & D wrapping paper, do yourself a favour and shop online and wrap your own presents in the comfort of your own home whilst gulping down sipping a festive drink.

5. Smiles are not Included in the Price of your Shopping

Dutch customer service comes as a surprise to foreigners. In fact, you can spend your first few years months in the Netherlands trying to find customer service. There is an important rule to obey in shops here - failure to comply is at your own peril.

"Thou shalt not interrupt employees whilst they are talking to each other about their weekends or homework and don't talk to employees whilst they are on a private telephone call." 

Accept that they clearly have better things to do than what they are actually paid to do. If you can ring up your own purchases, then all the better.

6. Strategically Return your Shopping Trolley

Always put your shopping trolley back at the end of the longest row of trolleys, even if this means returning it to a row which trails over the main road, blocks the entrance to a lift or path or crosses a motorway. Your aim is to hinder other shoppers and block the passage of cars. You need your 50 cents back right? And your legs have given up the will to live after your tiring shopping excursion? You can't possibly walk the extra few metres to the shortest row of trolleys.

7. Combine Supermarket Shopping with a Workout

Try to see hopping over empty boxes, careering around stock carts, and pegging it back to the shop entrance for that one elusive product they keep moving around as good, healthy exercise. Don't complain about products stacked high and out of reach - see it as a chance for a good stretch (or alternatively a way of getting into conversation with a tall handsome local).

8. Plan the Emptying of your Shopping Trolley

Conveyor belts in the Netherlands are mini versions of those in other countries. Hence, if you place your bread anywhere but the end of the belt, you have approximately 2.3 seconds to run past the cashier to the end of the belt to save your bread before it turns prematurely into breadcrumbs. If you are planning to make breadcrumbs with your loaf, then this will save you effort and time later. However, if you want to make sandwiches with it, place it at the end of the belt when you empty your shopping trolley, or practice your sprinting before heading to a supermarket. The employee behind the till will not rescue it for you. See tip 5.

On a similar note, do not open bottles of fizzy drinks, beer or wine directly on your return home - if indeed you are one of the lucky ones whose beer arrives safely at the end of the conveyor belt. They will need to settle after their hazardous journey along the, albeit short, conveyor belt. My husband's most recent experience involved the neck of a beer bottle breaking off as it was hurtled to the end of the belt and the cashier asking, "Do you still want that?" He told her only if she had a glass handy for him.

And on this subject.. don't pack your shopping into bags or crates at the end of the conveyor belt. Throw it all back in your trolley and pack it into bags whilst you hover at your car boot in the car park. It's much more efficient, great fun if it is raining - and you can't get your car out of the parking bay you left it in yet anyway because of the line of shopping trolleys across the car park......

Good luck and have fun!

Live Like A Dutchie - Advice from the Experts

To almost conclude the #LiveLikeaDutchie month on the blog I want to hand you over to other experts on living life in the Netherlands, namely some wonderful expat bloggers here in the land of the Dutch.

What they don't know about trying to live like a Dutchie isn't worth knowing. Here's what they do know.....

Bitterballen Bruid - What makes the Dutch Dutch? These 25 things for a start and you certainly cannot profess to be Dutchlike if the word gezellig doesn't mean anything to you. Furthermore, it's not just you that should exude Dutchness, it's your bathroom too, no matter how odd it may seem. 

Craftie Mum - Want to know why parenting in the Netherlands is so great? Then take a peek at what Tamkara has to say.

Drie Culturen: To get inside the mind of a Dutchman you need to know what they miss when they leave the homeland. Here's the top 10 things Dutch people miss when they live abroad. Here are also 10 great tips for surviving and thriving in the Netherlands.

Dutchified - Here you'll find vlogs on just about everything you could imagine about life in Amsterdam and beyond from cookies to the red light district.

Expat Since Birth - Here's the low down on what Ute likes about living in the Netherlands (pt 2 is here) and if you're planning on living like a local and have children then you'll need to know all about traditional Dutch games. You'll also need to eat whilst living in the Netherlands so knowledge about the local fayre is essential. 

Nerdy Mom is on hand to share what you need to know about ice skating in the Netherlands. To live like a local you at least need to know that Dutch people are born sitting on their bikes with ice skates on their feet.....

Poppies and Ice Cream - You'll need to learn Dutch if you want to live like a Dutchie - that's a given and lucky for you here are some tips to help you learn. King's Day is coming up in April so you have an opportunity to turn orange and become at least a little bit Dutch without even trying. And the Netherlands just wouldn't be the same without Sinterklaas.

Ute's Expat Lounge - Living in the Netherlands means developing a Dutch mentality. Here's everything you need to know, and more, about Dutch etiquette. 

Watch out for the last post of the series tomorrow! And don't forget that today is the last day to get your Stuff Dutch People Like T-shirt giveaway entry in!!

The Year 2015: Finding My Place Again in the Snow Globe

2015. What will it bring? I actually just reread a post I write a year ago called "What does 2014 hold?" and I can honestly say that I could rewrite that post but change the names around a bit. 2015 will be a huge change for me personally, but not until October. October is the month that Mr O, the baby of the family (I need to stop calling him that - he's three for goodness sake), will turn four and then start at primary school too. In October 2015 I will have three school going children. For the first time in nearly nine years there will be no children at home during the school day (apart from lunchtime then). Just me. 

Part of me is dancing a very energetic happy dance at the thought. Part of me is a little mournful. How fast they grow. However, I have another nine months with my youngest at home before those child free hours are upon me. And I plan to make the most of them with him.

There are some other things I plan to do in 2015 too, and when I stumbled across this "Imagining the New Year" blog link up I decided to put those plans down on virtual paper. I also created a Pinterest board called the Year 2015 to keep me motivated. So here goes! Three main things to focus on in 2015.

1. Be More Comfortable in My Own Skin

The last eight years have been a collage of new motherhood, sleepless nights, pregnancies, breastfeeding, weaning, applauding firsts three times around - like crawling, talking and walking, nursery school starts, first school days, learning how to parent a highly sensitive child and parenting as a highly sensitive person and going through a huge career change. It's been an intense time.

From the moment we welcomed our first child to the world it was like a giant hand was shaking a snow globe around me - and it feels like it is only now that the snow is beginning to settle. Things feel stable around me. But I feel out of sorts. Like I have been left hanging a little off kilter in my snow globe world. I'm not quite where I should be. And this year I want to work on changing that.

I want to feel more comfortable being me again. That's both physically and mentally. More mindful eating. Eat breakfast (a small tweak that will apparently change my year). More physical movement, but something that works for me instead of another failed gym membership. A wardrobe overhaul. More sleep. More time with my husband, letting him know just how important he is. Our marriage was put on the back-burner whilst we learnt the parenting ropes. It was put low down on the priority list whilst we struggled with the ups and downs of parenthood. We have more time and the chance to change focus now.

2. Calm My Mind

I saw this gem about a woman's mind being like an internet browser with a whole host of pages open at the same time and it summed up perfectly for me how my mind is constantly busy. I'm always thinking about all the things that I 'need' to do. If the children are at school and my youngest is napping, I am always doing something - and that has been the way it has been since I became a mother. I remember a friend saying how wonderful her son's nap times were because she could read her magazines in peace and I was perplexed as to why I could never consider that to be something I could do without feeling guilty, without feeling I should be doing something else more 'worthwhile'.

A few weeks ago, in the height of the December madness, I sat down one morning, whilst all three children were in school, and I watched an episode of Downton Abbey. And I switched off. Ignored the nagging in my mind that I should be doing one of the things on my bullet journal list. Or cleaning some part of the house, which was quite frankly way overdue. I stuck two fingers up to my own thoughts, drank coffee and slobbered over watched the lovely Hugh Bonneville instead. I can count on one hand how many times I have taken this kind of time alone since my first son was born in 2007. And now I know I need to give myself permission to take time for myself. Just to do nothing. To switch off. To calm my mind. To read. To watch something. Just because.

2015 is a year I vow to invite less stress into my life. Instead, there will be more calm and I will have more patience - with myself, and with my children.

I plan to calm my mind with more creative journalling, by emptying my thoughts onto blank pages. I plan to breathe more consciously - be more mindful of my own breathing. To practice what I preach to my sons. To calm it down. To nurture my inner calm. To enjoy the little moments more instead of constantly planning for the bigger ones. A happiness jar will help with that.

I want to close some of these internet pages that are constantly open in my mind. Open one page at a time, deal with it and then close it down. More focus. Less energy wasted. Less chaos. More calm in my mind.

3. Explore My Home

A few years ago, I had a vision board and one of the items was about exploring the Netherlands. The plan was to see something new in the country I call home every month. And then two more children came along and the good intention fell by the wayside. This year, I am breathing new life into it.

Last weekend we headed to the Veluwe for a walk, instead of going to one of our usual walking destinations. My husband suggested it, and usually on the Sunday before the kids are due back at school after a holiday I would have dismissed the idea of venturing out a little further. This time I embraced the idea, let my husband lead the way and I just followed.

I'm planning a list of things I want to see in the Netherlands. I made a Dutch bucket list last year, but this is a real places to see list. What should be on it? What is a must see in the Netherlands?

And another little thing that I really want to get under my belt is driving. I wrote about this before and even made some progress taking lessons as a refresher, but then I fell down the stairs and was out of action for a while. This morning I drove a little in our car for the first time. Hopefully I'll keep building on that...... keep asking me!

So that's my 2015 plan in a nutshell.

What does 2015 hold for you? What one thing are you determined to do this year?

17 Must Have Items to Survive a Dutch Winter

Today marks the official start of winter. It's time to store autumn in your memory banks and get ready for the onslaught of colder, greyer, darker days. Some winters in the Netherlands are more, well, wintry than others. Last year was a rubbish winter. Surviving last winter was something everyone could do with their eyes closed. It was a shame because there is so much to love about this time of year in the Netherlands and this year, hopefully, the weather will let us see what the Dutch are really about when winter strikes.

If you want to get the most out of winter in the Netherlands you'll need these 17 items.

1. Ice Skates - as the temperatures drop the nation collectively blows the dust off their ice skates, sharpens their blades and heads to the nearest frozen puddle, pond, canal or lake to skate. It's an amazing sight for someone who did not grow up in this winter skating culture. It's not such an amazing sight for the locals to see those of us who did not grow up wearing ice skates every winter flailing around haphazardly on the ice......

For the Dutch skating is second nature and their love of ice skating is reflected in their many Winter olympic successes. How many gold medals did the British win in ice skating at the last Winter Olympics? I rest my case. That's why I stay on the sidelines and let the Dutch get on with it, but I encourage you to give it a go.

2. Eternal Hope - where there is ice in the Netherlands there is eternal hope. As the ice grows so do the hopes of a nation that this year will be the year that the Elfstedentocht takes place. Every year hopes are dashed, dreams are shattered as the ice melts. But it doesn't hurt to hope does it?

3. Sledge - if you don't have a sledge you are never going to be considered fully integrated, unless the reason why you don't have a sledge is because you are still cycling even when it snows and the pathways are covered in a thick layer of ice. Some do. I'm pretty sure they are a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but nonetheless you do still see cyclists skidding their way to work and school on two wheels on the ice. Otherwise, you need a sledge to take your children to school.

4. Winter Coat - I almost don't need to say it, but for those of you who come to the Netherlands from sunnier climes - you need a winter coat. A big thick one. See number 5.

5. Scarves and Gloves - it's a flat country, there's nothing to stop that cold, icy wind blowing over the land. There are no hills people - the wind tears over the land like a savage beast and nothing can stop it penetrating to your very core. Except a good pair of woollen mittens and a thick, homemade knitted scarf of course.

6. Umbrella - just like during the autumn months, it rains during winter too. The difference is that the rain is slightly colder as December zips by. A storm proof umbrella is probably a better recommendation for December actually, one of those funny shaped ones that promise never to blow inside out.

7. Potato Masher - winter means stamppot season. It means dinners come mashed. Stamppot is basically mashed potatoes with some kind of vegetable mashed through it, served with a bendy sausage and gravy, or jus as the Dutch more elegantly put it.

8. Hot Chocolate - if ever there was an excuse to drink lots of hot chocolate, Dutch winter is it. Going ice skating? Then treat yourself to a hot chocolate from a festive stall around the rink. Going walking? Stop in somewhere and have a hot chocolate to warm your cockles. Christmas market? Well. the day wouldn't be complete without a mug of hot chocolate. And by hot chocolate I actually mean Chocomel of course.

9. Nerves of Steel - as I touched upon earlier (see number 3) there are some that continue to get around on two wheels even then there is a smattering of ice covering the cycle lanes. In my humble, unimportant opinion, you'd have to be bonkers to cycle on ice, but if you really want a gold integration star then go ahead. Ga je gang.

10. A Sweet Tooth - during the first week of December in the Netherlands you need a sweet tooth and a hardy stomach, and good diving and evasion skills. The first week of December is the home straight to the climax of the whole Sinterklaas gedoe which has been going on for many long weeks. There are kruidnoten, pepernoten and speculaas biscuits everywhere. And I mean everywhere. And it's not unusual to have the small round kruidnoten thrown at you by an assortment of Zwarte Pieten. (Though I have noticed this year the throwing has been minimal - has that been outlawed too?)

11. An Ability to Take Things with a Pinch of Salt - and talking of Sinterklaas and his Zwarte Pieten..... When you experience your first Sinterklaas it can be a bit of a shock for an expat. Take it for what it is. If you have children, throw yourself as enthusiastically as you can in to the story that takes on a national perspective and go with the flow. You ain't gonna change it - leave that to the locals.

Shoes, shoes everywhere, but not a pair to wear

12. Spare Shoes - and still on the topic of Sinterklaas and the Dutch traditions around him, you'll need lots and lots of spare shoes. Children can leave a shoe out at the supermarket, at school, at their sports club and of course at home. The good Sint and his helpers will then fill the shoes with a small present and lots of sweets and biscuits (see number 10).

13. A Love of Pea Soup - eating pea soup in the winter is not just obligatory, it's the law. It should be the deepest green you can imagine, have slices of sausages floating in it and be accompanied by roggebrood (that's rye bread to you and me).

14. Patience - if you use the Dutch public transport system in winter you will need oodles of patience whilst trains grind to a halt because the wrong kind of snow lays on the tracks. Or the wrong kind of ice. Or just ice. Or snow. Of any type really. Just be patient. Or give up waiting for a train/tram/bus and head home to collect a bike/sldege/ice skates (see items 1, 3 and 9).

15. Transport to Germany - winter means crossing the border to visit the German Christmas markets. There are some in the Netherlands too, but if you want authentic then head to our neighbour who really knows how to 'do' Christmas markets.

16. A Supply of Gluhwein - Gluhwein tries its best to outdo it's hot chocolate colleague during the winter months and can suddenly be found everywhere as soon as December rolls in. It's a real belly warmer once the temperatures drop so worth indulging in a tipple whenever you are out and about.

(Although I would never condone an excessive consumption of the delicately spiced mulled mixture; as the Dutch say, "Geniet, maar drink met mate", which for the first few months of my Dutch adventure I translated in my head as, "Enjoy, but drink with friends" even though my Dutch partner kept reminding me it meant don't be a 'pisshead', quashing my belief that I had already, instantly,  passed my first initiation in to Dutch Society.)

17. Candles - it's not that the Netherlands has electric power issues during the winter, but if you were an alien visiting for the first time you could be forgiven for thinking this is in fact the case. The Dutch love candles during the winter - in fact the whole season is all about gezelligheid. And it's wonderful. So get those wicks burning and get cosy for the duration. See you in the spring!

Dutched Up! Rocking the Clogs Expat Style

It's here! It's available! Dutched Up! Isn't it beautiful?

What is Dutched Up!? I hear you cry. Dutched Up! is the next book you should read. It's a beautifully written, heartfelt, honest anthology written by women expat bloggers in the Netherlands who have been through the ups and the downs of expat life - and lived to tell their tales. 

I'm one of those women. And I'm so excited I could burst. But I'm trying to be very British and modest about it all. I would like to fling open a window here and scream, "I'm an author. I'm in a book." But I won't because that's really not very British at all. But believe me, I am VERY excited. 

Anyway, as I was saying. This book is about expat life in the Netherlands. From giving birth to doing the shopping, from doctors to marriage, the ins and outs of expat life in the land of the Dutch are covered by those that live here, who have married here, given birth Dutch style, grown to love their kraamzorg here, made wonderful friends here and who have come to know everything there is to know about bitterballen and paracetamol.

If you're an expat in the Netherlands, you need this book. If you are thinking about becoming an expat in the Netherlands, you need this book. If you have any vague Dutch connection at all, you need this book. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say, if you read books, you need this book.

At the moment it is available for Kindle on Amazon, and you can get your mitts on by clicking on the  lovely link below: 

 Amazon.co.uk

  Amazon.com

Watch this space for more ways to get your hands on this book in the near future - including a "hold in your hands real book". 

My Sunday Photo: A Dutch Autumn

Straying From The Path to Now

Unknown to my younger self, I am sure that the path I have been on since I was a teenager was one leading me to a life abroad. It just wasn't a direct path. Sure, there were signs, hints and indications in my youth that a life beyond the borders of my birth country was something I should prepare for. That my later life would involve speaking a second language should have been clear to me at an early age.

My first trip abroad was a family holiday to Tangiers in Morocco. The unfamiliar sounds of an unknown language spoken all around me, the rich vivid colours of North African wedding attire sparkling in the glaring evening sun, the enchantment of a music so different to Western pop, the smells of exotic food cooking in the streets all served to pique my curiosity about life beyond the borders of my home land.

A school trip abroad to La Rochelle started my long lasting love affair with France. I homed in on modern languages, namely French and German for my GCSEs and continued my French to A-Level. My love of the French language went beyond the allure of my Liverpudlian French teacher. A school trip to Berlin a year after the wall fell enticed me to be a part of something bigger, it lured me to take a closer look at the world away from my own doorstep. Foreign languages became an integral part of who I was, who I was to be.

I centred my university degree search around being able to use my French. I eventually picked a European Studies course in Bradford, which included a study year in Toulouse. I use the word study lightly. It was less of an academic study year, more of a cultural immersion. I loved the smell and bustling of the local bakery every morning, I loved watching the old man in a beret that shuffled to the local supermarket in his well worn but clearly loved checked slippers, I loved browsing at the snails in the freezer compartment as I did my grocery shop - week after week failing miserably to pluck up the courage to actually give them a try.

After graduation jobs with companies like Michelin kept my French alive but when I later chose a career in Human Resources the need to speak a second language soon dissipated. My path seemed to change, leading away from where I had been sure I would go.

As a teenager I’d envisioned a life for myself abroad, in France, where I spoke the language and loved the culture. Somewhere along the way I got distracted and forgot where I was headed. My linguistic mind stayed with me, laying dormant but patiently waiting whilst I strayed from the path I should have been on.

And then one day my little brother met an American girl, online in a chat room. I was clueless. I had no computer of my own and had no idea how you could ‘meet’ someone in a chat room. After what seemed like no time at all he announced he was moving to Long Island, NY to get married. One family globetrotter fled the nest. But my own path kept me firmly rooted in England.

I needed to write a dissertation to finish my Post Graduate Diploma in Human Resources but the absence of a computer at home made progress slow but Father Christmas (disguised as my father) saved the day and I became the proud owner of a personal computer. It became my indispensable companion. It was to put me back on the right path.

For a reason I no longer remember nor can imagine looking back, my brother’s once uttered words, “go try a chat room. It’s fun” popped into my head one evening. I did a search and ended in a chat room talking to a Mexican. Just as I was getting bored with the whole 'chat room' experience a pop up appeared from another chatter. This time it was a Dutchman. My boredom vanished.

Christmas and the millennium were closing in and my days were filled with MSN Messenger and an endless string of emails. After that fateful evening I never entered a chat room again. Online chatting turned into a phone call on New Year’s Eve. Talking on the telephone turned in to visits to each other’s homes in foreign lands.

Seven months later my wonderful boss moved on and in his place came a woman who had a reputation for clearing the decks and bringing in her own people wherever she went. Business trips that were planned months ahead were suddenly superfluous and I whispered to my dad that something was afoot. I knew something bad was looming. He told me I was being paranoid.

Then one evening, sure enough, I was summoned to the dragon’s den. She informed me that my position would end in two months. Walking home with tears streaming down my face I made a call to the Netherlands with my mobile phone. I shared the lowlights of my evening and told my Dutch partner that I needed to find a job fast so that my mortgage didn’t become a problem.

“Or instead of finding a new job there, you could move to the Netherlands…” he said and I could hear the smile on his face.

And suddenly I was back on the path I was destined to walk on.

5 Lessons I Have Learnt from the Dutch

This is the fourth and last title in this month's expat blogging link up - it has been so much fun and I have loved reading about expat life through the eyes of fabulous bloggers across the globe - but it's not quite over yet. Here is the last one - 5 lessons the Dutch have taught me.

1. Work Life Balance: I've said it before and I'll say it again - the Dutch are work life balance masters. Leisure time is just that, and work time is kept to what is needed to get the job done. Many women work part time, and many parents arrange working hours around their home and family life. Watching the Dutch reminds me just what things are important in life. When the Dutch have free time they are out and about with their family, making the most of good weather, leisure facilities and the chance to be together. Just wander out on a sunny Sunday afternoon to see what I mean or a beautiful summer afternoon on any day of the week - the sun shines, the Dutch leave work early and head to the beach or a terrace. There isn't a 24/7 culture here, and whilst that was one of the things I needed to get used to when I first moved here, it's now one of the things I love. Not everything is open late, or on a Sunday - it forces us to slow down, relax and think of leisure time instead of errands and the demands of daily life.

2. Family Matters: The Dutch in general are very family orientated (some of my own in-laws are a huge exception to that) but I have learnt from those families around me, from society's attitude, and from cultural tendencies that the Dutch visibly and noticeably cherish their parents and their children.  Grandparents play a big role in the lives of their grandchildren and are a familiar sight on the school playground, actively busy in the daily comings and goings of their children's children. It makes me more aware of what my children's British grandparents miss out on on a daily basis and though I can't change the physical and logistical aspects of living abroad I can make sure that my children cherish their family abroad by keeping them connected, ensuring they feature heavily in the conversations we have at home and keeping them in mind.

Water into land? No problem.

3. Adapt: The Netherlanders are like chameleons. If it's cold and icy they get out their ice skates, leaving work early to head to the nearest frozen body of water (see point number 1). Kids are taken to school on sledges if the snow prevents bicycle use. In the height of sunny weather, the Dutch beaches and terraces are thronging with people. The Dutch people know they can't travel far with Dutch so as a nation are excellent linguists, switching from Dutch to English, German or French at the drop of a hat. No serious hills in the Netherlands means a national winter evacuation to winter resorts to quench the Dutch thirst for winter sports. The Dutch manage with what they have, and if they don't have it they go find it somewhere else. And if they really can't find it they make it. Like land they can actually live on for example.

4. Say What You Mean: The Dutch do not beat around the bush. If there is something on their mind, they let you know about it. It's not meant to be insulting, though for many expats that is the way it comes across - it is more about saving time and being honest. Blunt. Abrupt. Brash. It is in complete contrast to my British culture where politeness means softening a difficult message as much as possible, making it seem like less of a blow. What actually happens is that the message is lost in lots of frilly, woolly talk and the receiver of news is often a little confused about what the message means, particularly non-British conversation participants. So which is kinder? I can't say that I have become as blunt as a Dutchman, but I am working on being more direct with my words and I do appreciate knowing where I stand.

5. Birthday Efficiency: Every year I watched my dad scribble all the family birthdays onto a new calendar as a new year dawned. The Dutch have a solution - the birthday calendar hanging in the smallest room of the house. I no longer transfer birthdays onto a calendar on the first of January, instead there is a birthday calendar hanging in the downstairs toilet with all the birthdays known to us. I never need to touch it, except occasionally to add a new acquaintance or put a line through those whose birthday no longer matters (yes, I am ruthless - wrong me and your name is scribbled out on the birthday calendar). More time on New Year's Day to spend with family (see point 1).

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An InLinkz Link-up

It's Starting to Look a Lot Like Christmas at Keukenhof Castle

On Wednesday,  we took a trip to Keukenhof Castle for the annual Christmas Fair held there. The kerstmarkt is a treat for the ears because aside from Christmas music playing over the speakers, there are choirs performing at intervals. There's also something special for the nose with the delicious scent of Gluhwein and artisanal bread wafting around and for those still needing Christmas gift purchases there are various stalls selling jewellery, decorations and ornaments, clothes and bags as well as food.

We were drawn in by a stall selling cheese, bread and wine - all in one little tent. The boys had a field day sampling different cheeses and various types of bread (a heartfelt apology to the owner who would have had to fill up almost every bowl once my sons had left; the image of locusts springs to mind) - and they were more than happy later to help devour the loaves and cheese we chose to take home. Tip of the day - try the Toscanse bread - heavenly!

For the kids the 'Coca Cola Santa' is on site with a large truck, there's a merry go round, a few animals (including the tallest goat I have ever seen, presumably Dutch) and music especially for the children at certain times. And of course no Dutch Christmas fair would be complete without a skating rink, and all three boys took the opportunity to do a few rounds on the ice, with varying degrees of success. With many laughs and bruised bottoms to show for their efforts we called it a day and headed back to the car, guided back by the beautifully lit trees.

The kerstmarkt continues over the weekend (until 22.00 tonight and tomorrow) so if you are starting to get into the Christmas spirit Lisse is a good place to head to - Gluhwein, christmas carols, twinkling lights and ice skating - what more do you need to get Christmas going? I'll leave you with a few images…

The big man himself is there, with the big truck.

The Dutch on ice - as natural as cycling

As dusk falls, it's time for the lights to take centre stage

Beautiful lights create an amazing atmosphere once the sun sets

5 December - It's a Dutch Thing

When I first moved to the Netherlands in 2000, the annual celebration on the 5th December baffled me. Year after year, in search of enlightenment I bombarded my Dutchie with questions.

Thirteen years after witnessing Sinterklaas and his helpers for the first time, I get it. I really do. In 2007 we celebrated it for the first time as a family, because we had a child. Every year since then our celebration has got bigger and better. We have three children that find this time of year magical. Truly magical, and that is what the onlookers on the outside don't see - the children's joy and excitement. It is absolutely a children's festival.

Sinterklaas is now a part of life, and  I feel qualified enough to  answer my own questions that I once had about Sinterklaas and the festivity of 5 December:

• You Dutch celebrate both Sinterklaas and Christmas. How does that work exactly?

Sinterklaas and Christmas, whilst sharing the same origins, are just not the same thing. That's why there are two different celebrations. The Dutch do not have two Christmases (contrary to the suppositions of a certain supposed UN representative recently). They celebrate Sinterklaas and Christmas.

• What do you tell the children - Sinterklaas comes at the beginning of December from Spain on the steamboat with his horse, and then the Kerstman comes at the end of the month with his sleigh and reindeer?

The Dutch don't need to explain the appearance of the kerstman twenty days after Sinterklaas because most Dutch families do not have Father Christmas bringing presents on the 25th December - presents are exchanged in some cases but they are openly from each other. They aren't left in the dead of night under the Christmas tree by a jolly figure in red. My husband had never received a present on Christmas Day until I moved to the Netherlands. That's how different the idea of Christmas has been here. The kerstman is known as the Coca Cola santa here. My lucky kids have both figures visiting them because they have a British mother - and that is easy enough to explain.

• How does buying two lots of presents in December fit with the Dutch reputation of stinginess being careful with money?

As already mentioned, presents aren't necessarily the norm here at Christmas and certainly not on the grand scale it is in Britain and the United States for example. Besides that the presents on the 5th December are brought over from Spain on the boat by Sinterklaas and the Pieten, even though the Hema and C1000 logos are clear for all to see on chocolate letters and presents… something that did not escape my then five year old last year…..

• What do you mean you want me to put a carrot in my shoe?

No biggie, I'm fine with putting a carrot in my shoe these days as long as the horse gets the carrot out without slobbering in my shoe.

• Why do you throw sweets at your children?
To be fair there are other times of the year when I feel like throwing things at the kids (not just my kids). Getting it all out of your system once a year with sweets is quite ingenious.

Seriously though, you do need to think about where your children will be when the 'gloved hand' comes around the door and throws sweets into the room on Pakjesavond. Two years ago we narrowly avoided a hospital run when a 'Piet' lobbed goodies into our living room, into the play pen my then two month old baby was lying in. Three screaming kids (two petrified, one injured) is not the best way to spend an evening.

• St Nicholaas is actually from Turkey but travels from Spain in a boat to the Netherlands every year - how does that work?

Okay, hands up, this is one of the things I still can't explain - the whole 'he comes from Spain on a boat' thing is a mystery to me. I have no idea. Nobody I have spoken to has a proper explanation, other than it's a great holiday home destination. It just is so.

• Where can I find an online Sinterklaas poem generator?
Google it.

• So, let me get this right. Good girls get chocolate letters and pepernoten and bad girls get a free trip to Spain?

I have since learnt that NO ONE gets to go to Spain. Years of trying my hardest to get on the naughty list to get put in a sack for a free holiday to Spain. It's a bloody myth. The idea terrifies the kids though and gets them to do what you want for two or three weeks of the year whilst Sinterklaas is in town.

• Sint’s slaves helpers are black because of the soot in the chimneys? Really?

The least said about this the better I think. This year has seen the biggest uproar yet to Zwarte Piet and I wouldn't be wholly surprised if we see a few changes over the coming years.

• What do you mean I can't finish off this Sint paper and use it to wrap Christmas presents?

As I said, I get it now. It's not the same thing. That would be like wrapping Easter eggs in Christmas paper.

Any more questions anyone?

Dutch Language Lessons from My Six Year Old

My six year old son announced this morning from his sick bed,

"Mama, there are some Dutch words you can't say properly because you're English."

One topical example is sneeuw. Unless I pull a funny face and attempt to say 'snow' like the British Queen I can't quite get the right sound in Dutch. I also have a real issue with moeite.

I didn't ask him for a comprehensive list. Having my Dutch language skills corrected by my child is not on my parenting bucket list but it is a fact of life. What is really fun to think about is that in a couple of years I will have three little language critiques to deal with......

Top 8 Must Buy Items for Expats in the Netherlands

I've entered the Expats Blog writing contest and would appreciate your help to make "Top 8 Must Buy Items for Expats in the Netherlands" a winner. To help, simply pop over to the website, read the article and give it a comment of appreciation, share it/like it on Twitter and Facebook using the links under the article on the Expats Blog - and that's it!

How many of the 8 items have you purchased since moving to the Netherlands?
Head over to http://www.expatsblog.com/contests/308/top-8-must-buy-items-for-expats-in-the-netherlands to find out.

Love, A Police Trailer and A Dream Career: Life as an Expat

Fancy reading an interview to learn more about expat life in the Netherlands? Well then today is your lucky day because there just happens to be an interview with me on Expats Blog.

If you want to read about borrowed police trailers, falling in love with a Dutchman, making the switch to a dream career and the difficulty of leaving family behind then head over to the interview now.

And whilst you are there please take a second or two to leave a kind word about this blog or my A Letter from the Netherlands blog to help me win an Expats Blog Netherlands blog award. It takes a minute tops and sharing the love is certainly appreciated!

ExpatsBlog.com: An Expat Blog Awards Nomination

I'm thrilled to say that hot on the heels of the Expatica blog award nomination comes another award nomination. This time it's from ExpatsBlog.com.

To help my blog earn an award you simply follow the link through to the listing of Expat Life With a Double Buggy on the ExpatsBlog.com site and leave a rating and a comment. So if you're a regular reader and like what you read head on over and comment away. And whilst you're over at ExpatsBlog.com......

ExpatsBlog.com provides a list of expat blogs by country to help expats find relevant posts to read. A great place to start if you're looking for bloggers and information in your host country.

Bringing Up Brits Guest Post: Standing Out From the Dutch Crowd

Meghan Fenn, author of "Bringing Up Brits", a book about the cultural aspects of expats raising children in Britain, has a blog of the same name. She shares the cultural issues she faces as an American raising her British born children in Britain. Her husband is British, and she's finding that her children fail to identify with her American background and culture, seeing everything from a British perspective.

It's a fascinating topic. How, as an expat, do you share your own birth country and culture with your children when they were born elsewhere? It's an issue I've written about before on this blog. It's not easy to instil a sense of foreign identity into children when they come into so little contact with the culture, people, language and traditions. She also gives a great insight into how the British come across to a foreigner. It's quite eye opening.....

So I was delighted when Meghan asked me to write a guest post for her blog. You can read "Standing Out From the Dutch Crowd, British Style" over on the Bringing Up Brits blog, and check out lots of other great posts and join in the discussion whilst you're there.

How do your children stand out from the crowd in the place that you now call home?

Pregnancy Tests, Gizzards and Cycling: A Cultural View of Pregnancy

"Un test de grossesse s'il vous plaît ," I said, having consulted my dog eared French dictionary for the French word for pregnancy test.

"Oui madam," replied the petite, middle aged woman behind the village chemist counter. She opened a small drawer in front of her and pulled out a box. She babbled something fast at me in French and I smiled and handed over a fifty euro note.

Two days later we replayed the same scene, undoubtedly depleting the village's entire pregnancy test supply, whilst simultaneously getting tongues wagging about a potential impending baby boom in the area. From what we had seen of the local demographics there was more call in the area for Zimmer frames than baby products.

Two positive pregnancy tests under our belt and we were confident that I was pregnant. My Dutch partner and I were going to have a baby. And then panic set in. We were on holiday in a remote French village, suddenly pregnant in a foreign country without internet. Did we need to tell someone? Were we supposed to go to the doctor? Were there things I shouldn't eat or do? I had already indulged in the local delicacies, including wine, pate and 'gésier de poulet' (I had no idea what I was ordering, and even after a text from my dad translating gésier as gizzard I was none the wiser). Wine surely wasn't handy.

We called our GP back in the Netherlands. The doctor's assistant summed up what we needed to do,

"Firstly congratulations! When you get back to the Netherlands register with a midwife. Don't go and see a French doctor - you'll be told you can eat anything and everything but you can't. Avoid non-pasteurised cheeses, alcohol, pate and anything from the inside of an animal." Oops. She had just listed the main constituents of my diet for the past week.

Pate best eaten in moderation during pregnancy - according
to the Dutch but not such an issue for the French?
Photo: Neil Gould

"And what about cycling?" my husband asked.

"No problem. Cycling is fine. Just don't fall off!" she replied.

An English friend had been told to avoid cycling during the critical first twelve weeks of her pregnancy. However, after seven years in the Netherlands I knew that asking the Dutch not to cycle for twelve weeks would be like asking them to chop a leg off. It's just never going to happen.

Already during the first week of pregnancy I was learning that culture plays a big role in having a baby as an expat. There were plenty more culture shocks to come during the next nine months.

I came to learn how the Netherlands is very much a midwife based maternity system - a big shock for many American expats - and midwives encourage home births and natural births (in other words, without pain relief) wherever it is safe to do so. I love the mentality that a pregnant woman does not have a medical condition - and should not be treated as if she has.

Before our babies are even born there's a cultural maze to walk our way through - and that's just the beginning!

What notable differences have you noticed with how various countries handle pregnancy and child birth?