What If My Kids Had Been Born in England?

I've been thinking. How different would my children already be if they had been born in England instead of the Netherlands. So, instead of three little Dutch boys with a British mother, they were three little English boys with a Dutch father.

The most obvious different is that their first language would be English, and not Dutch which is the case with my eldest. My school going 5 year old speaks better Dutch than English (whereas it was the other way round when he was a toddler because he was home with me) and now has a Dutch accent when speaking English. In England, they would not currently be bilingual.

But what about culture things? Or experiences? How would they be different if my children had been born and raised in England?

Food
Well they certainly wouldn't have eaten sprinkles on their bread had they been born and raised in England. They wouldn't have eaten so many pancakes, and certainly not under the label of "dinner". They probably would have a better selection of healthier meal choices (read not everything fried with chips) whenever we eat out had we been living now in England.

My boys would know what a crumpet was without a lengthy explanation about a bread type thing with holes in it. Scones would be second nature. Hot cross buns at Easter time would be taken as a fact and Christmas crackers wouldn't be such a novelty.

Culture
Had they been British born, they wouldn't have had such a fine collection of orange shirts between them. They wouldn't have a clue what a Beesie was, seen an orange German helmet or seen a prince throwing an orange toilet. I can't imagine I will live to see the day that Prince Charles takes part in a toilet pot throwing competition, and I guess the real question is this: why on earth would he?

They wouldn't have scouted around flea markets on Queen's Day. Sinterklaas would have stayed a stranger.

None of my kids would have experienced being transported around on the front or back of my bike as past age eleven I cannot even remember owning a bike in England, let alone thinking about ferrying kids around on one.

Jip and Janneke would be an unknown couple. Dikkie Dik would never have become a familiar feline face and Nijnte would be called Miffy. They would have grown up with the bird on Sesame Street coloured yellow going by the name of Big Bird, instead of a blue bird called Pino.

Education System
My eldest would probably be wearing a school uniform (thus saving the knees on his day to day trousers) and I would likely be transporting him to and from school in a car. In England, he also wouldn't have already been a fully fledged member of the local junior school at the tender age of four.

They would be addressing their teacher as Miss Smith instead of Juf Krista if they were in the English education system and they would be unlikely to see their teacher in jeans unless on a school trip.

Television
I'm going out on a limb to say that I assume my sons would not be so exposed to poop humour in England as they are in the Netherlands. They would know the voices of famous actors such as Tom Hanks from watching children's films in their original language, instead of Dutch dubbing which is (rightly) used for kid's programs. They would never have heard of Bumba, K3 or Kabouter Plop. They would never have seen Charlie and Lola speaking Dutch or Makka Pakka singing in Dutch.

Outdoors

This is what I call hills - something my Dutch boys are not familiar with

If my boys had been born and were being raised in England, they would most certainly know what a real hill looked like. As it is they think a speed bump is "high".

For my little Dutch boys an old, traditional windmill is commonplace, not something special. If they had lived in Watford like I did, a windmill sighting wouldn't be a weekly occurrence.

I am not convinced my eldest would have already had ice skates on and been on natural ice had we been an "English" family. And they wouldn't have been ferried around on bikes as babies.......

As my boys are still only little, there are lots more things we will come to experience that will make their lives here in the Netherlands different to the one they would lead in England. Some are positives (after all, Dutch children are the happiest in Europe), and a few are negatives.

But sometimes I wonder what impact being born in England would really have had on their lives, their personalities, their youth, their memories of growing up. Would their lives have taken a different path? It's an interesting train of thought!

What differences would have been evident if your children had been born in your birth country instead of the country you now call home? 

Sugar and Spice, and All Things Nice

There is a rhyme in English that goes like this:

What are little boys made of?

Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails

That's what little boys are made of !"

What are little girls made of?

"Sugar and spice and all things nice

That's what little girls are made of!"

However, here in the Netherlands, it's not just the girls full of sugar and all things nice... it's boys too. Or at least that is the impression I get when I look at typical Dutch breakfast and lunch tables or restaurant choices for kids here. 

For some reason I still don't get after more than a decade here, the Dutch give their children sprinkles and chocolate flakes on bread for breakfast or (maybe even and) lunch. Sugar on bread in essence. And not occasionally or as in a once-a-year-treat-because-it's-your-birthday kind of way. Daily. As in every day. 

Sugar, Sugar and a Little More Sugar
(c) Amanda van Mulligen

Restaurants directed at children either serve fried stuff or sweet stuff for kids. Pancake houses are good examples.... many offer pancakes especially for children. This typically means putting lots of sweets on a pancake, usually in the shape of a face, or providing a child with bowls of various sweet varieties containing more sugar than you would want your child to consume in a decade, let alone during the consumption of one pancake. Don't get me wrong, a pancake house every now and then is a great treat and lots of fun. But sometimes it would be nice to have other options.....

Kid's Menu from The Three Tuns Pub in Reading,
England

When we visit the UK I am always struck that there is such a huge difference and kid's menus are not always unhealthy. Pasta with sauces (including those with hidden vegetables) are often available, or simply the same meals offered to adults but put out in smaller portions for the kids. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to come up with something that isn't fried or isn't sugar to feed to restaurant going children. Does it? Well, that's my take on it and it's been a source of irritation for at least five years now. Ever since I became a mother and adopted the "you're not eating sweets every day" approach to parenting.

Luckily I am not alone. Let me introduce you to Smulpaapje.nl. It is the initiative of Susan Aretz and Annemieke Dubbeldeman who were also fed up with the limited offerings for their children whilst eating out. They set up a site to put restaurants with healthier options for children on the map. It's all new, work in progress but an exciting development. It's worth taking a look at so that maybe next time you want to eat out with your children you don't end up in a pancake house...