How Two Peuterspeelzaal Teachers Changed How I Parent My Sons

I am the mother of three highly sensitive sons. I myself am highly sensitive. I learnt this fact because of amazing teachers at my eldest son's peuterspeelzaal. They recognised traits and behaviours in him at the age of three that are consistent with being highly sensitive.

Goodbyes in school were heart wrenching for him from day one. It took months for him to get used to being left in school. And because it was such an emotional hurdle for him, it was incredibly upsetting for me too. No parent likes to leave a child anywhere when they are crying, kicking out and obviously feeling lost.

However, as the weeks went by it took my son less and less time to 'recover' from me leaving him in the peuterspeelzaal. I had immense faith in his teachers that he would be okay once I was gone. And if he wasn't they would call me.

One day, when my husband picked my son up from school, everything changed for my little family because two Dutch teachers did their job exceptionally and they took the time to really see my son. They uttered the words 'highly sensitive'.  It was the start of a parenting journey that I am still on. It's the reason why Happy Sensitive Kids was born. The reason why the peuterspeelzaal will always have a place in my heart, even though all my boys are now in primary school.

"The term ‘highly sensitive’ meant nothing to me six years ago, back when I was the bewildered mother of a three-year-old boy who seemed unable to tolerate the world around him."

You can read the whole story over on Mamalode: The Day I Became the Mother My Sons Need Me to Be.

Amsterdam Mamas 'Dutched Up! Rocking the Clogs Expat Style' Book Review

I am chuffed to bits that Amsterdam Mamas has published a review of our expat anthology about expat life in the Netherlands, "Dutched Up! Rocking the Clogs Expat Style".

I am even more chuffed to bits that it's the type of review that makes an author feel warm and squidgy inside.

And the icing on the cake is that my piece about welcoming kraamzorg into my home was something that Robyn Grafton, who reviewed the book, could relate to.

"..... and sentimental tears of happiness over a description of the kraamzorg service, reminding me about my first week of motherhood and my own amazing kraamverzorgster. By the time I turned over the last page, I felt I had just been enjoying a kopje koffee with some girlfriends, swapping stories about our lives in the Netherlands. Can a book feel gezellig? Zeker weten!"

So without further ado, head on over to Amsterdam Mamas and read Dutched Up! Book Review in its entirety for yourself......... and then buy the book!


               

Are You Parenting Dutch Style?

Has raising your children in the Netherlands rubbed off on your parenting style? Does seeing the letters HAVO make you frown in confusion or smile in recognition? How do your children get to school? What food constitutes breakfast in your house?

My latest article for Amsterdam Mamas will help you decide just how far you've gone and got yourself ingeburgerd.

Here are ten signs you are parenting Dutch-style.

New Article: Forget Labels, Think Instruction Manuals

My latest article for Amsterdam Mamas is on the topic of labelling our children. I wrote it after a conversation I had with a mother of a highly sensitive child who was reluctant to discuss her child's character traits with her new school. It got me thinking about our own journey with my son and his schooling and I realised the effects of sticking a 'highly sensitive child' label on his head and how differently we approached it when we changed schools. It proved to be a successful formula.

"A mother of a highly sensitive child (HSC) who had just started primary school told of how her child was struggling in the classroom, resulting in tantrums and tears at home. The teacher was being less than understanding about her daughter’s need for quiet time to recharge, and failed to grasp just how overwhelming the school environment is for her daughter." 

You can read more over on Amsterdam Mamas. I would love to hear your thoughts over on Amsterdam Mamas.

Parenting A Highly Sensitive Child

Amsterdam Mamas has published an article that I wrote on the topic of highly sensitive children. It's my personal story of parenting a highly sensitive child and the journey we have been on over the last few years and in particular the challenges we have faced with his schooling. It's been a bumpy road but I hope my story helps somebody somewhere understand highly sensitive children just a little bit more.

"My eldest son is a highly sensitive child (HSC), and together we’ve been on an 18 month journey of discovery.
After a traumatic entry to the world, my first-born cried a lot – every evening for hours at a time for the first three months of his life. At six months, nobody could hold him except his father or me. Later, he would cower behind our legs if a stranger came near him. If we tried to leave him with someone, he screamed hysterically."  To read more head over to Amsterdam Mamas.

*If this is a topic that resonates with you I have created a Facebook group called "Happy Sensitive Kids" for anyone who is involved in raising HSCs. My goal is to create a supportive, safe place to share tips, experiences, challenges and the joys of bringing up HSCs. It's a closed group so you need to request membership but it also means that the posts can only be seen my members.*

Help, My House is Shrinking!

I have lived in my current home for ten years. It's a milestone and a time to reflect. A decade ago there were two of us living in this house. Now there are five of us. And a whole bunch of toys, and a double pram, and a play house in the garden..... in short, our house seems to have shrunk before our eyes.

For the full story pop over to Amsterdam Mamas and read my article "Our Shrinking Home".

The Dutch Balancing Act: Home v Work

The balance between home and work
is not always easy
(c) Kriss Szkurlatowski

This is a subject that gets the discussion going.... the work ethic of the Dutch. Lazy or efficient? I'd go for the latter for sure; they work the fewest hours in Europe and achieve one of the highest productivity rates. On top of that they're home for family dinners too. They are surely doing something right.

Whatever your viewpoint the Dutch do seem to have this whole work life balance thing sussed. And I've just written an article on this topic for Amsterdam Mamas for their October theme of balance.

So if you want to read The Dutch Balancing Act, hop on over to Amsterdam Mamas. And whilst you are over at Amsterdam Mamas have a good look around. It is such a great community over there it makes me want to move to Amsterdam!

Amsterdam Mamas Feature

Following my nomination for the Expatica Expat Blog Competition, Amsterdam Mamas ran a mini-interview with me about why I started blogging, my favourite post and what surprises me about blogging.

If you want to know the answers to those questions then head on over to Amsterdam Mamas. and whilst you are there read the interviews with the other family related competition entrants, including two of my favourite expat blogs in the Netherlands, Adventures in Integration and Invading Holland.