What If My Kids Had Been Born in England?

I've been thinking. How different would my children already be if they had been born in England instead of the Netherlands. So, instead of three little Dutch boys with a British mother, they were three little English boys with a Dutch father.

The most obvious different is that their first language would be English, and not Dutch which is the case with my eldest. My school going 5 year old speaks better Dutch than English (whereas it was the other way round when he was a toddler because he was home with me) and now has a Dutch accent when speaking English. In England, they would not currently be bilingual.

But what about culture things? Or experiences? How would they be different if my children had been born and raised in England?

Food
Well they certainly wouldn't have eaten sprinkles on their bread had they been born and raised in England. They wouldn't have eaten so many pancakes, and certainly not under the label of "dinner". They probably would have a better selection of healthier meal choices (read not everything fried with chips) whenever we eat out had we been living now in England.

My boys would know what a crumpet was without a lengthy explanation about a bread type thing with holes in it. Scones would be second nature. Hot cross buns at Easter time would be taken as a fact and Christmas crackers wouldn't be such a novelty.

Culture
Had they been British born, they wouldn't have had such a fine collection of orange shirts between them. They wouldn't have a clue what a Beesie was, seen an orange German helmet or seen a prince throwing an orange toilet. I can't imagine I will live to see the day that Prince Charles takes part in a toilet pot throwing competition, and I guess the real question is this: why on earth would he?

They wouldn't have scouted around flea markets on Queen's Day. Sinterklaas would have stayed a stranger.

None of my kids would have experienced being transported around on the front or back of my bike as past age eleven I cannot even remember owning a bike in England, let alone thinking about ferrying kids around on one.

Jip and Janneke would be an unknown couple. Dikkie Dik would never have become a familiar feline face and Nijnte would be called Miffy. They would have grown up with the bird on Sesame Street coloured yellow going by the name of Big Bird, instead of a blue bird called Pino.

Education System
My eldest would probably be wearing a school uniform (thus saving the knees on his day to day trousers) and I would likely be transporting him to and from school in a car. In England, he also wouldn't have already been a fully fledged member of the local junior school at the tender age of four.

They would be addressing their teacher as Miss Smith instead of Juf Krista if they were in the English education system and they would be unlikely to see their teacher in jeans unless on a school trip.

Television
I'm going out on a limb to say that I assume my sons would not be so exposed to poop humour in England as they are in the Netherlands. They would know the voices of famous actors such as Tom Hanks from watching children's films in their original language, instead of Dutch dubbing which is (rightly) used for kid's programs. They would never have heard of Bumba, K3 or Kabouter Plop. They would never have seen Charlie and Lola speaking Dutch or Makka Pakka singing in Dutch.

Outdoors

This is what I call hills - something my Dutch boys are not familiar with

If my boys had been born and were being raised in England, they would most certainly know what a real hill looked like. As it is they think a speed bump is "high".

For my little Dutch boys an old, traditional windmill is commonplace, not something special. If they had lived in Watford like I did, a windmill sighting wouldn't be a weekly occurrence.

I am not convinced my eldest would have already had ice skates on and been on natural ice had we been an "English" family. And they wouldn't have been ferried around on bikes as babies.......

As my boys are still only little, there are lots more things we will come to experience that will make their lives here in the Netherlands different to the one they would lead in England. Some are positives (after all, Dutch children are the happiest in Europe), and a few are negatives.

But sometimes I wonder what impact being born in England would really have had on their lives, their personalities, their youth, their memories of growing up. Would their lives have taken a different path? It's an interesting train of thought!

What differences would have been evident if your children had been born in your birth country instead of the country you now call home? 

It's Children's TV - But Not As We Know It

I grew up in the age of the Flumps, Fingermouse, Bagpuss and Bod. It was a fantastic era of children's TV. Or so I thought until I showed my eldest son clips on You Tube. He was quite amused by The Flumps, unsure about Bod but quite taken with Fingermouse. I, however, was quite shocked to note, firstly, how dated the programs look (they seem so modern and crisp in my mind's eye) and secondly just how rubbish they seem now. With the exception of Bagpuss of course, who remains fabulous, even if the picture quality isn't.

Anyhow, the main point is that children's programs change over the years. Of course they do. But the difference from country to country is also quite staggering. Take the Netherlands for example. Dutch children's TV is different to much of the programming you would see on CBBC.

There is of course a fair share of kid's TV in the Netherlands which is taken over from the BBC and dubbed. "In the Night Garden" is a good example of this. But many programs are of course Dutch, and unlikely ever to reach British viewers of the BBC.....

Kabouter Plop is one such program - it is such a typically "Low Lands" program (it's actually Belgian but popular in the Netherlands too) but I'm not sure what it is about it that makes it so. Before some bright spark points out they speak Dutch in the program.... that's not the only thing that makes it very Belgian/Dutch.

Photo: Wynand Delport

Children growing up with Dutch TV will also notice that Big Bird from Sesame Street is not yellow like the English speaking version, but in fact blue. He's also not called Big Bird but Pino.... in fact many of the characters are different in the Dutch version.

The other thing I notice is that there is a fascination with poop when it comes to children's entertainment in the Netherlands. Don't ask me why.

So, here's the question... what do your children watch on TV in your host country that they would never see on TV in your birth country? Does kid's television differ wildly between your host and home countries?

Parenting as an Expat: Here's Some I Made Earlier....

For a fair few years already I have been tackling the topics of motherhood, children, pregnancy and related challenges and issues. Throwing expats into the role of parents is interesting to say the least.

As a warm up for this blog, here's an overview of articles I have already written on the topic of parenthood, from pregnancy to children's TV in a foreign country:

• From Pregnancy to Delivery - The Dutch Way
• Having a Baby in the Netherlands - Understanding Kraamzorg
• 'Tis the Season to be Travelling
• It's Sesame Street - But Not as we Know it
• Kraamzorg - Postnatal Care in the Netherlands
• Classic Children's Television - Dutch Style
• Maternity Matters - What to Expect in the Netherlands
• A Little Help in the Delivery Room
• Don't Blame it on Home Births
• 6 Ways to Make Sure Your Summer Holiday Really is a Summer Holiday When You're An Expat
• My Consultatiebureau
• 5 Ways to Embrace a Dutch December