Done reading? So, if you're the mother of boys, and solely boys, does the article resonate with you? Did you always envision you would have a daughter one day?
When I read Chelsea's post I sat with my mouth open, never having contemplated that being a mum to only boys could need some getting used to and extra work. It never crossed my mind that a job as mama could be made tougher by the fact that you're the only female in the house.
And never having dwelt on the fact that parenting only boys requires a mind shift for some I guess I hadn't really thought in depth about how I feel being a mama to three boys. Until now.
Photo Credit: Shannon Pifko |
When I was pregnant for the third time I had a sneaking suspicion I was carrying a baby that would give me a trio of young males to mother. The twenty week scan showed my hunch was right. Was I secretly hoping for a girl? In all honesty, I thought it might be nice to have a little girl to add to the pair of boys I already had but when the sonographer said, "clearly a boy," I wasn't disappointed. It wasn't a surprise. And I liked the idea of another little boy - plus it made our hectic life that little bit easier as our ready supply of boys clothes was endless and boys toys already filled our home already.
Once he was born I had a fair few people saying,
"Oh, another little boy is also okay."
As if there was a possibility that it actually wasn't. For us a third boy was no way a disappointment - we could already vouch for the fun you can have raising little boys. Three boys was more than okay with us.
Then we had a run on questions like,
"Will you try for a fourth? For a girl?"
Er no. We're okay thanks.
When I read Chelsea's piece on it being hard to be a parent to only boys it started me thinking. Why don't I have a problem with having three children who are all the opposite gender to me?
I think it's because I wasn't really a girly girl. At least not as a teenager. My best friends from age fifteen onwards were generally male. Not in a tomboy way, but I preferred their straight talking, honest company. I have one brother. No sisters. In short, I've been more comfortable in the company of males for as long as I can remember.
Photo Credit: (StockXchng) Melodi2 |
I'm certainly not saying being the mother to boys only is easy. It's not. In her post, Chelsea has great tips for connecting to sons if it doesn't come naturally. I struggle with the endless questions on topics outside my remit like dinosaurs, Spiderman, volcanoes and bugs. Google has become my best friend. And believe me I'm dreading the teenage years which will hit before we know it. Testosterone everywhere. I'm guessing moody, pimply, hormonal males in the house may not be the most fun you can have as a mother...... but I know from experience a teenage girl is no more an inviting prospect than the one I face - my own mum will testify to that!
Of course, there are advantages to being the only female in the house. The girly things I want to do means I get to have me time, like a monthly escape for a facial for example whilst the boys drag their father skateboarding and to train museums.
For now, whilst my three are so young, I'll take the toy cars and Lego over horses and pink jewellery boxes. I'll keep Googling about T-rexes and beetles and scouring the internet for a Spiderman costume. I'm more than contented with my lot and I guess if I'd have had three girls I'd probably be writing my own version of Chelsea's post....
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a girl and then I remember I was awful as a teenager and had been very much a Tomboy due to the propensity of brothers in my house - I don't miss it as I've never experienced "feminization" of a home.... my mother wasn't a girly girl either. I think my son's lucky as he got a mum who knows boys and like's being friends with men. However in some ways I'm not preparing him for the onslaught of girly girls the flirting and manipulation that can happen... hopefully he'll meet a straightforward girl with lots of brothers :)
ReplyDeleteThat's another good point - my mum wasn't a girly girl either. My family life wasn't overly feminine - my mum kicked a ball around with rhe rest of us, we stood on the football terraces as a family. I just wasn't raised girly - i had a doll's house, dolls, played being teacher & shops just like anyone else but never turned into a girly teenager. I'm guessing my sons will feel the benefit of that :)
ReplyDeleteReally interesting read - I do not have children yet, but have had friends in the same situation. We often discussed it but I did not fully understand it until now.
ReplyDeleteMolly xo
Thanks so much for sharing your article about this topic, and linking to mine :-) Experiences are so varied and for so many reasons, I love to hear different perspectives.
ReplyDeleteWhile i am a mother of 2 girls, i can say i can relate to the article. I think having boys does take getting used to. When i was pregnant with baby monkey, everyone said i was having a boy, something i couldnt get my head round. I couldnt and still cant imagine myself with boys, funny isnt it.And thanks for the new blog to follow.
ReplyDeleteHi Rosalind, glad you can relate. I guess when you have two girls it is hard to imagine having a boy - the other way round for me! But had I had a girl I wouldn't have found it strange either - you get used to the gender you have. Curious what it would have been like to have a boy then a girl or the other way round - how different would it have been then?
ReplyDelete