Anyone Else Have Toilet Monsters?

The toilet paper devouring beast
Photo: István Benedek

We have two toilets in the house and they are both ravenous toilet paper eating monsters. To avoid their wrath they must be fed copious amounts of toilet paper per day at random intervals. And our toilet monsters are fussy. They prefer clean toilet paper. Paper that is unused. Fresh off the roll. They like it torn off in very, very, very long pieces, scrunched up and then thrown in for them to munch on.

Funny thing is that they only seem really hungry when my three year old goes to the toilet. And sometimes he tends to feed the toilet monsters more than they can stomach because much of it lays undigested in the toilet bowel, causing a painful and uncomfortable blockage for the toilet monsters.

Anyone else dealing with toilet monsters and toddlers?