tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post1378683493493711484..comments2024-01-26T02:50:31.892+01:00Comments on Turning Dutch: Expat Truths: Making FriendsAmanda van Mulligenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17328016562973171711noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post-41661164042515849232014-12-14T10:00:32.062+01:002014-12-14T10:00:32.062+01:00Hi there, your post rings so true for me. I'm ...Hi there, your post rings so true for me. I'm in France, been here almost 3 years, and just now am I started to get friendly with people. I have one French friend. I had a stalker situation about a year ago that scared me into not doing anymore meetup groups. But everything you said is so, so true. Happy holidays to you!Dianehttp://www.ouiinfrance.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post-20236787371715748842014-05-28T16:07:24.275+02:002014-05-28T16:07:24.275+02:00This is is my second expat experience and it certa...This is is my second expat experience and it certainly starts to get a little easier. Being introvert as well it was and is hard even to get out there and talk to other people. Still being in UK I've also noted people being nice, polite but friendship is a different thing, that's harder to find here. About negative expats, I've had my fair share. When I do find them now I avoid them. I used to hang out with two other expat girl and they would complain and wine all the time but I couldn't avoid tjem then so I would go home to my partner and say I know they are only focusing on the negative and I won't let them get me. When we moved to UK it was different, we didn't know anyone and now after over a year I can say I know a few people and slowly things are looking up. It takes everything you've got. Jesicahttp://twitter.com/jesisolesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post-22715165131991778372014-04-25T13:22:10.368+02:002014-04-25T13:22:10.368+02:00As a transient expat I get to see this from a slig...As a transient expat I get to see this from a slightly different angle. Trailing spouses (often women but increasingly men these days too) get together and, if you get the wrong combination of people, these clubs can turn into a recipe for negativity (bad food, bad weather, bad locals). <br /><br />Funnily enough the last posting was always better and the next posting will always be bliss it is just the current one that is the pits. <br /><br />I like to meet people, both expat and local, spend time with them and get to know them. Very few of these relationships blossom into real friendship however but when they do they are worth their weight in gold. Ersatz Expathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03715056719284523304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post-56304393425063153492014-04-23T14:14:49.930+02:002014-04-23T14:14:49.930+02:00This struck a familiar chord. When I first came to...This struck a familiar chord. When I first came to Austria, I was so discouraged I hadn't made any local friends yet, and at the same time was determined to not go in search of a mini US of A in my part of the city. Now I've developed a great circle of local friends, but occasionally long for the "ease" of friendships in the States. By that I mean no translating in your head, no cultural confusion, no jokes taken the wrong way because the humor didn't translate. But like Meg said, these friends are my lifeline here and I'm grateful to even have the opportunity to work for and in these friendships. Holly Kooihttp://www.comedicgrievances.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post-14265547638947497072014-04-23T13:46:47.260+02:002014-04-23T13:46:47.260+02:00Thanks for your comment Meg. I love how you put it...Thanks for your comment Meg. I love how you put it and it is a great point. For expats that ONE friend can make all the difference to staying sane as an expat!! Amanda van Mulligenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17328016562973171711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post-52427512275813742962014-04-23T13:45:15.092+02:002014-04-23T13:45:15.092+02:00Thanks for sharing Norman - it's something I h...Thanks for sharing Norman - it's something I hadn't thought about, facing the same issue on returning to a country. But it makes sense.... life has moved on, especially when so much time has passed. Look forward to reading how you'll tackle it.....Amanda van Mulligenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17328016562973171711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post-77180632698433663232014-04-23T13:28:19.630+02:002014-04-23T13:28:19.630+02:00I just wrote a blogpost on this topic from the ...I just wrote a blogpost on this topic from the 'repatriate' experience. Making friends can be just as hard when one repatriates: http://expateverydaysupportcenter.com/one-is-the-loneliest-number/Norman Visshttp://expateverydaysupportcenter.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post-3786894417569391052014-04-23T10:56:24.600+02:002014-04-23T10:56:24.600+02:00Or she is not my friend. Like in all cultures we j...Or she is not my friend. Like in all cultures we judge by appearance. And having a husband with a decent job, looking decent and being a reasonable weight plus having britush like social skills help too. I have a friend who as soon as they meet her is looked on with disapproval when she speaks but obviously wealthy so is accepted. Whereas another friend who is divorced and on benefits but has british grace is relented to hang out with other benefit moms despite coming from a wealthy american background. Both in the south eadt suberbs outside of london. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post-80665470972337737652014-04-23T10:51:19.558+02:002014-04-23T10:51:19.558+02:00I havr to say that this article seems to just butt...I havr to say that this article seems to just butter up to the englush mentality of no complaining rather then to help expats integrate and understand the culture. It is a very difficult culture to understand. Books like pride and prejudice are so famous for a eeasin because it reflects british life at the time. Many of those social ways still exist on a different level. My children for instance feel uncomfortabke opening up to new people their age. I often hear "i dint kniw them" Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798372697599428727.post-47525937730963581672014-04-22T18:26:47.102+02:002014-04-22T18:26:47.102+02:00Amanda this hits home with me. A lot of what I wri...Amanda this hits home with me. A lot of what I write about in Bringing Up Brits is about making friends and the challenges that come with that. In England, I've found it's easy to meet people - I've met lots of people - but making friends and forming meaningful and lasting friendships is another thing all together. It takes time, as you say, it takes effort and sometimes it can take years. It's a hard one but SO worth it in the end. I've finally made some good friends here and it took and still takes effort on my part because they have their own friends and their own families here. I'm one of their friends, yes, but they are my lifeline here. Hope that makes sense.Meg Fennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17631716851851489783noreply@blogger.com